photo credit:
Victor Bezrukov
There’s no real secret, it’s just this. Ancient wisdom.
There is one who gives freely, yet grows all the richer… Proverbs 11:24
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Whoever brings blessing will be enriched, and one who waters will himself be watered. Proverbs 11:25
We live in a culture of self.
Self-sufficiency, self-preservation, self-defense, self-nurture, self-care.
These concepts aren’t necessarily bad – I’m a big fan of self-sufficiency, in many ways – but these concepts also aren’t necessarily good. Sometimes they’re just Self-ish.
But we do need to take care of ourselves, right? You know that feeling you get as a wife, a mom, a woman, a friend, a dependable person who can be counted on? That feeling that just once, just this once, you’d like to say HEcK with ‘em all, let ‘em handle their own messes! and drive away with screeching tires and really loud music?
Oh, um, is that just me that feels that way sometimes?
(How embarrassing.)
Anyway. Maybe you never feel that way, but I do. I’ll admit it. I want to be dependable, but I don’t want to be predictable. I want to be a good wife, but I also want to be my own person. I want to be a good mom, but I also want to do something besides mommy stuff.
The message we hear is to set boundaries, draw lines, etc etc. Make sure that we get taken care of. That our priorities are made important. I hear that a lot; I’ve even said it quite often, and it’s not always the wrong advice.
It’s just not always the best advice.
Here’s how I see it: there’s good, better, best. Oh, and there’s also bad.
- Bad is being a doormat who never voices an opinion, who lets herself be used and abused.
- Bad is also being a self-centered, spoiled brat of a woman who whines, complains, manipulates, and threatens to get her own way.
- Good is learning how to set boundaries so you’re not a doormat.
- Better is learning to communicate and compromise so you’re able to pursue your own dreams and help others too.
- Best is learning to take a giant step of faith, put all your dreams in God’s hands, give give give give give, and then see how He pays you back.
Best is scary. It’s a risk, or at least it feels like a risk.
It’s also got the greatest return-on-investment potential.
Look, I think God can work with us wherever we are. I know He’s met me in many different places. Sometimes the lesson I needed to learn was to be more honest, to stand up for myself. Sometimes the lesson I needed to learn was to be more humble, to let little things go, to give more of myself.
Right now the lesson He’s holding out to me, gently showing me, just kind of saying, Hey, look at this. You could, if you dared… is this lesson. The good-better-best lesson. The fact that I don’t oftennever choose best.
It’s a lesson of faith that is giant in my world. A lesson of risk-taking. A lesson of not standing my ground, staking my claim, planning my way, but of throwing it all into His hands, giving my heart out, and then seeing what He does with it all.
Gulp.
I’ll get back to you.
