1. Start having sex way too early.

Like, when you’re 12. Or sometime in high school, because that’s what you’re supposed to do, right, and you don’t want to be the only virgin at graduation… Or, ack, did you miss out until college? Quick! Hurry! Before it’s too late, attend drunken parties, sleep with random people, and stock up those cherished memories. Because these are the great experiences of life, right? Right?

2. Pretend you have no regrets.

That way you can go on pretending you already know everything, and you won’t have to listen to anybody say otherwise, and you can keep on messing up your life until you die. Wheeeeee.

3. Go through an extended period of predictable adolescent angst and rebellion.

Why be a trend-setter when you can be just like everybody else ? Yes, all your peers are/have gone/will soon be going through this stage too. What a magnificent way to waste years of your life, cause hurt and tension in your most valued relationships, and build up a pile of stupid decisions behind you. Great thinking, Scout.

4. Never make a decision.

You know, you really shouldn’t. Because what if it’s the wrong decision? And then you’ll have done the wrong thing and your life will be messed up forever? Except: not. Here’s how it really works, peeplings: almost any decision is worse than no decision. No decision means you’ll stay stuck where you are and/or you’ll simply be floated on the current of least resistance which (in case you haven’t figured) doth not to good places go. You know that scene in the cartoons where they realize they’re about to hurtle over a 100-story waterfall? That is where the current of least resistance goes. Not deciding just means you don’t have the balls to take responsibility for what happens in your life. Grow a pair, start making your own decisions, take responsibility. You’ll learn from your mistakes, and you’ll still be better off than you would be with the waterfall option.

5. Over plan.

Over planning is a superb way to avoid making a decision, all while making people think you are actually doing something. Except that you aren’t. Here’s another life secret: most events in life, even the major ones, require far less planning and far more doing than we actually want to admit. Plan for about 10% of the time, and ACT for 75% of the time. That still gives you 15% of your life to just goof off.

6. Stay in college for a really, really, really long time.

I’m not knocking higher education. It’s good to learn how to spell and read and write and think and do math and make things and talk to adults and understand complex theories and stuff like that. It’s also good to wean yourself off the milk of academia and sink your teeth into the meat that is life in the real world. Don’t stay in college because you’re scared. You’re only delaying the inevitable, and usually at the cost of excessive student loans which will haunt you well into the future. Learn what you need to learn and move on.

7. Get into debt, as much and as quickly as possible.

The debtor is slave to the lender, said a wise man. If going through your life as slave sounds like your ideal, well, sign up. If not, well, you can draw the obvious conclusion.

8. Do things to impress other people.

By all means, mess up your life simply for the mere entertainment of a few other people who probably won’t remember your name next year. S-M-R-T.

9. Create mental dichotomies which will become the limiting dogmas of your life.

For example: faith v. fact, science v. religion, democratic v. republican, career v. kids, rich v. poor, etc. These are so much fun for you tote around your entire life. They’ll open up so many doors, really. Other people will gain such great knowledge from you, and your life will be filled with varied and rich experiences.

10. Quit reading books.

Really. You can get all the news you need online. Google knows everything. Youtube is an adequate substitute. Texting is the same as writing and reading, right?

11. Watch a lot of tv.

Because that’s what smart people do.

12. Avoid people who are different than you.

Because if they’re different, they probably won’t like your dogmas (see #9) and that will rock your little boat right out o’ your puddle. Can’t have that, now can we?

13. Consume copious amounts of alcohol, please and especially while hypothetically getting an education and/or establishing yourself as a young professional.

People. Please. Getting drunk is so 1995. No, no, wait: 1895. Oh, nope, people were doing it before then, too. 1795? 1695? In brief: getting wasted is nothing new, or clever, or interesting. Stupid people have been killing off their woefully small allowance of brain cells via alcohol for centuries, and doing stupid things, all while thinking they were being new, and clever, and interesting.

14. Slack your way through college/early adulthood.

There’s not really that much to learn there, anyways. Plus learning actually interferes with your drinking, does it not? And if you waste those 3, 5, 10 years of your young adult life, that’s no big deal. You’ll have plenty of time to catch up. Sure.

15. Experiment with drugs.

Because you’ve got so many brain cells left from the alcohol, you can spare a few more. And you won’t get addicted. You’re not an addictive personality. Sheesh.

16. Get married because you’re lonely.

Perhaps one of the most common reasons to get married. Perhaps the worst reason to get married. Heads up, lonely hearts club: gettin’ hitched will not magically erase the loneliness. Find a way to make friends and have relationships and be real with the people already in your life. Then you can get married because you’re in LOVE and you’re happy and it’s right, and that is a much better beginning.

17. Get married because you’re pregnant.

Not that being a single parent is a piece of cake, or anything, but being married to a jerk or a loser just because he happens to be the father of your child is even worse. If you’ve got the challenge of unexpected parenthood upon you, don’t add to it the challenge of a poor marriage.

18. Put off having kids until it’s convenient.

It never is. It never will be. It’s just one of those things that has to happen (if you want kids, that is) and waiting for a perfect time is the same as waiting for a unicorn to slide down a rainbow and hand-deliver a pot of gold to your doorstep.

19. Turn down work that is beneath you.

Excepting, of course, work which poses a moral conundrum, e.g. prostitution, selling drugs, working in a hot dog processing plant. Otherwise, work is work. When you’re jobless, is there really any such thing as “work with is beneath you?” Eh. That’s what I thought. Unless the dark damp coolness of your parent’s basement and a life spent playing video games alone really is what you truly, truly want.

20. Spend more than you earn. Habitually.

Fun to do, not so fun to undo.

21. Spend too much time figuring your self/life/dream/calling/passion out.

This is the work of a lifetime, and if you wait till you’ve got it figured out before you begin your life…. You’ll miss out on life. Life is figuring it out. Life is trying one thing after another. Life is doing a job you hate, but learning that you have the guts to do something well even when you hate it. Life is not knowing who you are, but doing what’s right anyway. Life is letting go of your passion because you need to take care of someone else for a while, or forever. Life is finding a new passion. Life is seeing a dream die, and then seeing it come back in the most unexpected way. Life is the calling. You can’t plan this stuff, or figure it out, or diagram it, or get the answers to it on a quiz.

22. Fail to know yourself at all.

The converse mistake to #21 is simply going through life blind, missing out on the possibilities, settling into a rut and staying there because anything unfamiliar seems so very scary that you’d better not risk it. Failing to know yourself at all means that you will be no good to other people. You will not be able to give much, if anything. You will be limited by your own lack of understanding. Grow up and grow out, know yourself, know what you have to offer, so you can offer it.

23. Cultivate an awesomely stupid habit.

Like smoking, or gambling, or serial dating, or playing the victim. These are all excellent ways to spend the money you make before you make it, ruin the relationships you have, and end up sad and lonely. More sad and lonely than you are now, I mean.

24. Let other people set your limits.

Providing you’re over, say, fifteen years old: why would you allow other people to define who you are and what you can do and what your limits are? They know you so well? They have your best interests at heart? They care that much? No, they don’t. They can’t. People have great intentions, the best of hearts, but no one can be responsible for your own life but you. So why should anyone else set limits on your life but you? I’m not talking about the understood limits, like don’t kill people and do wear your seatbelt. No, we’re talking about the greater limits, the higher limits, like what are you capable of? and what can you accomplish? and who do you want to be?.

25. Do any (major) thing because “it’s what you’re supposed to do.”

Supposed to is usually the worst reason.

26. Do any (major) thing for the sake of being different.

Being different merely for the sake of being different is just you tailing behind the pack of teenagers in the mall. Think for yourself, sure. Do something because you love it, or it’s a great idea, or it sparks your interest, or it will help people, or because it’s right, or because you can’t imagine another way to spend your life, or because it will benefit someone you love, or because it will help you grow. Do something strange and challenging and new and unpredictable because you want to grow, because you want to learn, because you care enough about life to take the risk. Don’t do anything just because you’re trying to be a rebel. Get your cause, first.

27. Don’t believe everything you read on the Internet.

Do I really need to explain this one?

Here are a few things I do to make mealtime as conflict-free as possible:

• I try to introduce one new food at a time, or to balance something I know they don’t like a whole lot with something they enjoy. Don’t overwhelm your child with new foods all at once. Try to stick to something familiar and something new.
• I give child-sized portions, and I don’t always require a clean plate. Our rule is no dessert without a clean plate. Key: Decide how much you want your child to eat; are you a “clean your plate” mama? If so, be sure not to overload the plate. Kids don’t need the same amount as adults; if they’re still hungry, they will ask for more.
• I don’t let them have more of one thing unless they’ve eaten everything on their plates. My kids will consume mac ‘n’ cheese and smoosh the green beans over to the side. I’m great with giving them more mac ‘n’ cheese, after they’ve eaten the green beans, too. Key: Don’t let your child’s whims control you. You are in charge of presenting a balanced meal. They don’t get the whole “food groups” concept yet. Let them earn the privilege of having more of what they want, by eating all of what they get.
• I give options, when I can. For example, today at lunch Robbie wasn’t loving his Mexican rice with cheese. He had eaten over half of it, enough (I knew) to fill his tummy, so I gave him the option: either finish the rest and get a cookie, or be excused now and no cookie. He chose to be excused now. Fine by me. Less sugar! Key: Give choices when you can, but don’t renege! You undermine yourself if you cave and give out the cookie later… Set the boundaries and give a few choices, then stick to it.
• I try to create familiarity with the food I want them to eat. Familiarity is your friend when it comes to kids and what they want to eat. The more often they see something and touch, smell, and taste it, the more likely they are to learn to enjoy it. So I dish out fruits and vegetables, curries and Thai dishes, spicier (not too spicy) foods and pickled foods, in appropriate portions. The more they try new and different foods, the more they will learn to love them. Mara now has a real affection for a little Frank’s Hot Sauce on the side whenever Daddy offers to share… Offer the same food over and over again, in tiny portions, to get kids familiar with it.
• I let them help in the prep work when possible. And it’s not always possible, certainly; but food preparation does amazing things for kids who used to be picky. Mara and Robbie were not fond of boiled eggs until I let them help: Robbie “tap-tap-taps” the egg, then passes it to Mara, who peels it quite nicely. Kids like to eat food they’ve helped to prepare.
• I don’t keep food in the house that I don’t want them to eat (for the most part). Sure, we have treats like cookies and ice cream sometimes. We’re certainly not perfect in what we eat. But I do avoid processed foods, boxed foods, prepackaged stuff. I try to go for the real deal, because I know if that’s what they grow up eating, that’s what they will think of as real food (and that’s what it is!). Feed your kids what you want them to love.
• I keep it really low-pressure at restaurants and in the homes of friends/family. That’s not the time for food conflicts or battle of the wills over what’s on the plate. I order them what I know they like; eating out is a treat for everyone. And I don’t make an issue over whether they clean their plates or eat their vegetables. We deal with that stuff at home, where there’s not a crowd of folks who have to listen to us! Deal with food battles at home; avoid the conflict when you’re out.

• What are your toddler eating tips? How do you deal with refusal to eat? What’s your policy on clean plates? How do you handle taking your children out to eat? I’d love to get more tips and advice from Moms out there.

Our Menu for the week -

• Monday: Fajitas
• Tuesday: Chicken Salad Wraps
• Wednesday: Smoothies for supper
• Thursday: something in the slowcooker…
• Friday: Homemade Pizza
• Saturday: Grilled steak kabobs, spinach salad… and something else
• Sunday: (church potluck) Chicken & dumplings, deviled eggs

Linked up with OrgJunkie’s Menu Plan Monday.

-

Image courtesy of efleming on Flickr.

I know there’s plenty of conversation and controversy over what kids should, how much they should eat, whether you should make them eat or not… We discuss it endlessly, from when to start babies on solid food to how many snacks a toddler should get to the factors of childhood obesity.

I think it comes down to a simple statement: what and how your kids eat is a matter of training. Don’t misunderstand; I’m not saying you should spank them if they don’t clean their plates or force them to choke down a bowlful of mushy broccoli.
And I’m also not saying that my kids are perfect eaters (whatever that is). They prefer a cookie to a vegetable any day, and they push food around on their plates, and they “drop” things they don’t want to eat…
Because they’re still in training.

Food Is a Battleground

I know that experts recommend not making meals a time of conflict. I know that we’re supposed to avoid making food, and whether kids eat it, a matter of discipline. The reasoning is that this is how we create eating disorders later in life, and that kids naturally know when they’re hungry, and that they will eat when they need to.

“Don’t Make Meals a Battle”

Um. I beg your pardon. Let’s start with the first point, “don’t make meals a battle.” Listen, I don’t know what the children of these experts were like, but with a fiercely independent two-year-old, everything is a battle. And how, in the the name of all things that are good parenting, does it help my child for me to be consistent, firm, and “the authority” in all things up till mealtime?

No toddler I know can, or will, separate life into neat categories that way: either you’re in charge or he is, and that’s that. If you do a great job of being a parent up till lunch time, then let him make the calls, all he knows is that somehow he’s in charge now. This is self-defeating behavior for a parent.

“This Is How We Create Eating Disorders”

Let’s move on to point two, “this is how we create eating disorders later in life.” Parental abuse is a cause of disorders (though, by far, not the only factor and certainly not always the cause): eating disorders, emotional disorders, and psychological disorders. But loving, clear, and consistent discipline – about anything – is not a cause of disturbances and disorders. If it were, then our kids would have disorders over everything that requires discipline: emotional disorders about saying please and thank you and sharing things, psychological disturbances over getting dressed, answering questions, and not running in the street.

Kids need training about what is best to eat just as they need training about what is best to say (not things like “Wow Mom that man is ugly!” or “Gimme that toy NOW!”).

“Kids Will Eat When They Need To”

Finally, point three: “kids naturally know when they’re hungry, and they will eat when they need to.” Well, yes, kids know when they’re hungry and mine have never had a problem communicating that. And yes, kids might eat when they need to but they might not eat what they need to. Any kid I’ve ever met will happily live on a diet of soda, cookies, and carbs – exclusively – for as long as he’s allowed. Children may also ignore their need for food if they are distracted, upset, overtired, or trying to be in charge.

I’ll give you a little example: Robbie (middle child, first son, strong-willed) was about 13 or 14 months when he learned to sign “more” and “please” for his food (I started teaching him much later than my other 2). He did it pleasantly and consistently for a few meals, so I knew he understood and remembered. Then we hit a point at lunch time one day and he simply refused. I was feeding him something, I told him to say please, and he would not. He had eaten about half his meal at that point, and I spent the next thirty minutes trying to get him to say please so he could finish his meal.

Finally I gave up: no please, no more food. I cleaned him off and got him down. Dinner time came. He sat in his little booster seat and signed please for maybe 2 bites, then steadfastly refused again. Another 20 or 30 minutes, and no change. He went to bed with only 2 bites of supper and I felt like a horrible mother.

Morning. I was so ready for breakfast. I wanted to feed my baby badly. I knew he would be hungry now. I just knew he would sign please and I could stuff his little belly full. Would you like to guess what happened? I offered the food, I told him to say please… and he refused. I say “refused” because I could tell he was making a conscious choice. Once again, I instructed and offered, over and over, for 20 minutes or so. Nothing. No change. Once again, I got him down out of his chair and felt like a horrible mother.

Now: did he need food at this point? Was he hungry? Did he instinctively know he wanted to eat? You bet! Of course he was hungry. Of course he needed food. Of course he knew he wanted it. But what he wanted more was to win, to be in charge, to exert his little will over Mommy.

Lunch time. I was praying. Into the seat Robbie went, and I sat down and I gave the instruction… and he did it. He signed please. He complied, peacefully and happily, with every bite and he ate a great lunch. And I felt like I wasn’t such a horrible mother, especially over the course of that afternoon and the next few days, as I saw a distinct change in his attitude toward me and Joe. He had been whiny and defiant and testing us at every turn; after the missed meals and Mommy’s win, it was like he got it. Oh. They really mean what they say. I can’t push them around.

(By the way, Robbie is still strong-willed, now, at 2 1/2, no surprise. He needs to know we are not messing around, and then he will comply, but if he senses uncertainty or weakness, he will do everything to take charge. He still chooses to test us over food at times; a couple of weeks ago it took him about 20 minutes to eat a single bite of avocado, with me standing right beside him and catching it every time he spit it out…).

My summary is this: Outright defiance deserves clear discipline, whether it is over food or anything else. Food is not a magical, mystical, disorder-laden area in life. It’s just part of life, like wearing clothes or taking baths or putting on seat belts. Children need to be taught the appropriate skills and behavior regarding food, just as they need to be taught skills and behavior for other parts of life. I am not saying that every meal should be a battle.

In fact, I am rather careful to decide when I’m willing to have a battle. Sometimes it’s not up to me; sometimes Mara or Robbie or Zeke acts in such a way that I am honor-bound, as a parent who wants to train according to the Bible, to respond with appropriate instruction and discipline. When that happens, I deal with it as I would any kind of misbehavior. Then we finish eating. When there isn’t any defiance or deliberate misbehavior, we sail along our merry dinner hour as smoothly as we can.

This week’s menu

Wkend: homemade mac’n'cheese with chicken and bacon (courtesy of Joe, our weekend blue-plate-special short-order cook. Love you honey!)
Monday: curry with white rice, green salad
Tuesday: dagwood sandwiches on homemade bread
Wednesday: chicken salad wraps
Thursday: spinach salad with strawberries, avocados, and whatever else looks good
Friday: friends over for dinner. Probably get Joe to do some amazing grill work on pork/steak kabobs, & serve them up with a big green salad, some fruit, and a dish of hot buttered pasta with Reggiano cheese.
And that’s as far as I’ve planned…

—

Linked up with OrgJunkie’s Menu Plan Monday.

We know that focusing on one or two or, okay, maybe five things at a time is better than trying to accomplish twenty-five things at a time.
We know this.
But we still don’t like it.

I choose each morning what I’m working on. Dinner, laundry, what I’m going to clean, what I need to work with the kids in (“Good Morning, kids, it’s “don’t hit each other” day here in the Mueller house!”), and what my writing jobs are for the day.
And I still have the haunting presence of all the things I’m not getting to, the areas I’m not improving, the stuff I’m missing.

So, this morning I got tired of being tired of that feeling and I made a new list: the official “things I am NOT working on Right Now” list. I cannot recommend this highly enough.

On my list:

I’m NOT working on
decorating or painting the house, even where it badly needs it
drastically improving our diet, or really changing much about it at all
cutting down our movie/screen time
starting seeds for the garden
adding new songs to our worship sets at church
formal preschool activities
keeping the house spotless
writing more on my novel or poetry

All those areas of my life need some work, much of it major work, but I can’t tackle them right now. Because here’s what I AM working on:

• Kids: obedience, no whining
• Family: lots of time outside together!
• House: decluttering
• Food: menu plan and being frugal
• Writing: more consistent writing time, finishing book proposals, keeping up with blogs & jobs
• Church: organizing the spring garage sale
• Self: exercise, reading

So what’s working for me is consciously saying no to some areas for a time, in order that I might say yes to other, more important things. The importance of things will change; priorities shift. But for now, for this moment, for this day or week or most likely for the whole month, I’m keeping up with my “DON’T do this” list as well as my “DO this” list.

How about you?
-
This post is linked up with Works for Me Wednesday hosted by We are THAT Family.

Visit BlogMommas, the Tuesday Tip Jar Host!

I have an almost three year old (Mara) and a fifteen month old (Wick). They share a lot of toys, such as blocks, cars and trucks, and stuffed animals, but some toys Mars have lots of little pieces and aren’t good for Wick. So I bought a bunch of $1 plastic shoeboxes and separated her “big girl” toys out. She can open the lids, but Wick can’t quite figure out how. Now she can big out the box she wants to play with, and she knows that she plays with the toys in the boxes up on the table, not on the floor. She has to put one box away before she gets another out, so it also helps me not end up with a million tiny toys scattered all over the house.

Cookbook Give Away!

Win Rachael Ray’s Big Orange Book, her biggest collection yet. It includes over 300 pages of 30-minute meals, dinners for one, kosher meals, vegetarian meals, appetizers, and holiday meals. Click on the image at right to go to the Give Away. All you have to do is leave a comment! Drawing on Friday, Feb. 27!

1. Take on a monthly (or weekly) challenge for that hard-to-start project. (See previous article.) For writers who procrastinate putting for that great novel, NaNoWriMo is an organized challenge of this sort. For others, any project can be turned into a challenge for a specific amount of time. It doesn’t have to be a month. Dedicate a week to the project, and put forth all the time and energy you can into it, knowing that at the end of the week you can stop, no matter how much is left to do. What usually happens is that you get yourself motivated just by doing. The momentum carries you forward. You can accomplish a lot more than you think in a week. You may completely finish that project that seemed like a year-long commitment. If you don’t finish, you will still have a good chunk of it done and can continue toward the goal at a much faster pace.

2. Incorporate it into your routine. This method works well for those small but just unenjoyable tasks that come up, like cleaning out the refrigerator or dejunking the junk drawer or writing thank you notes. Make the one that you despise and put off a part of your daily routine. Say you hate cleaning out the refrigerator, so you just keep saying you’ll do it tomorrow. Meanwhile new life forms have taken over the vegetable drawer and are threatening invasion into the condiments. Before you lose your ketchup to that rabid broccoli, make it your routine to spend 5 minutes working on the refrigerator while your coffee is brewing, or water is boiling for the night’s pasta, or you’re talking on the phone to that friend who always repeats her stories… Don’t make it into a huge project that requires hours of your day. Make it part of your day and it will get done.

3. Eliminate the reason for procrastination. First, of course, you have to know the reason. Why do you procrastinate? Is it just laziness? Or are you afraid of failing? Are you unsure where to start? Do you have no idea how to complete the project you’re putting off? Are you afraid of someone’s response, so you don’t make the phone call? Maybe you don’t know what to say, so you never have that difficult conversation you really need to have. Or you don’t buy new clothes that you need because you really hate the way that extra 10 pounds makes you look. Instead of trying to force yourself to do something that you are not yet equipped to do, tackle the reason behind the procrastination. If you’re lazy, start reading about the power of diligence and hard work ; start making yourself do something a little extra, a little more difficult than you like every day. Soon those efforts of getting rid of laziness will become habits. If you’re afraid or dealing with other emotional issues that keep you procrastinating, try writing about it or talking with someone you trust. Getting the feelings and uncertainty in the open helps you know whether they are serious or not. Sometimes just stating your fear lets you see that it is silly to let it keep you back in the corner. If you don’t know where to start on your project or relationship problem or work issue, read on to the next suggestion.

4. Get help. The world of people you interact with is rich with resources. Your family, your friends, your co-workers, your peers, your social group, your church friends, employees at the stores you frequent: they all have ideas, skills, and experiences that can help you. You simply have to ask. If the thing you are putting off is beyond the help of people you know, try searching the internet. You can find lots of information from people who have dealt with it. The phone book is another source of help. There are counselors, therapists, weight-loss consultants, professional organizers, life coaches, writing instructors, tutors, interior designers, personal shoppers, and a plethora of other professional people offering many services.

5. Break it down. This applies especially to those big projects you put off. You want to redecorate your bathroom. It’s hideous. It has peach tile and yellow linoleum and water stains on the ceiling and a shower curtain with faded images of rubber ducks. It is the opposite of a spa-like, serene setting. But the idea of tackling all of the problems just overwhelms you. You don’t have the money, the time, the knowledge, or the energy to take it all on. So you keep taking your hot baths with your eyes closed do you don’t have to look at it. Instead of seeing the project as a whole, break it down into its many, much smaller parts. One week (maybe this week?) you will go to the hardware store, buy a gallon of paint and some brushes, and then come home, remove the towel hooks, put an old sheet on the floor, and paint the walls. It will take you a couple of hours to get one coat on, probably. Next week, you can apply the next coat, go out and buy new towel hooks and a small, framed print you love, and come home and hang them up. The week after that you could put new hardware on your medicine cabinet. Treat it as many smaller projects that you can take on, and soon the entire project will be finished.

6. Set deadlines and rewards. Set a date by which a particular task must be done and put it on your calendar in big, bold letters. Next to it put down the reward. Make it something you really like but don’t get very often. The key is this: you only get the reward if you complete the task by the deadline. No cheating.

7. Do it now. That’s right. Get up from your chair and go do it! It’s not that big of a deal and you will be finished with it. Then you can come back, sit down, and read the rest of the article in peace with a little smirk of satisfaction on your face. I’m not kidding. Get up! Go do it! Now!

8. Don’t do it. If you’ve been putting something off for a long time, and the world hasn’t crumbled around you, maybe you can just decide not to do it and then quit feeling bad because you haven’t. Do you really have to complete those half-finished craft projects? No. You don’t. You don’t like them, you don’t have to do them. Give the supplies away to someone who will use and enjoy them. Now you have less material and mental clutter to deal with.

9. Make a public commitment. Use your blog or webpage, send an email to all your friends ( or to me), call a few of your closest buddies, make an announcement at your next social gathering… find a way to make a public commitment to do/complete whatever it is you’ve been procrastinating on. Make it even more motivational by promising something to the group if you don’t complete it as promised. (You buy dinner for the friends if you don’t do it by a certain date.) They’ll remember the commitment if there’s something in it for them, and you’ll remember to do it if it will cost you to forget!

10. Delegate it. There are many students with little money who are capable of lots of household projects you may not want to do yourself. Hire one to plant your perennials or paint your front porch or organize your files or set up your new computer or load your iPod. Highschool and college students are great resources. Pay fairly and explain clearly what you want done and you’re likely to end up with an anti-procrastination partner who can help you in many different projects.

11. Partner it. There are two different ways to partner something you’ve procrastinated on. First, you can find another person who will agree to be your partner in getting the item completed, and then you in turn help your partner do something that he or she has procrastinated on. If you find someone who is procrastinating on the same thing, like going to the gym regularly or reading more books, you can tackle it together. Join an aerobics class together, or join a book club together and have monthly meetings to talk about the book you’ve just read. Alternately, you can partner something by “attaching” it to another activity you enjoy. You like shopping but you hate returning phone calls. Go to the mall, sit in the parking lot in your car and return 2 or 3 phone calls. Then go shopping.

12. Plan a day for it. Sometimes the best method is the head-on, no-holds-barred, life-or-death duel approach. So clear a day in your calendar. Get your supplies ahead of time. Turn the phone off and the good music on and get to work. Do as much as you can, as well as you can, as quickly as you can. At the end of the day, stop, clean up, and go do something you enjoy.