SISTER WISDOM : build a better life

What we do today, right now, will have an accumulated effect on all our tomorrows.

-Alexandra Stoddard

Value Judgments

“Every Yes I say to something out, about, away,” a wise woman once told me, “is a No I have to say to my family.”

She didn't mean that you shouldn't ever say Yes to anybody but family.

She didn't mean that it's wrong to ever say No to your husband.

She meant that you need to see the true cost of each choice you make. If it's worth it, great. But if it's not? Let it go on by. Life is too short to waste. Read the rest of this entry »

Challenge Update: Monday, the first "working" day without a to do list, was good. I am still using my planner but only for my routine checklist and for appointments. The routine I pretty much have memorized but I like checking it off. It gives me that feeling of accomplishment.

I feel a lot less pressure during the day. I am still running around like crazy, doing stuff, but it seems to be flowing in a more logical order rather than starting a project, remembering I have something else on the list of the day, stopping to do the thing on the list, etc. I am starting and completing things in a more streamlined way. I feel busy but not rushed. I also stopped a couple of times to just play with the kids or take care of them and wasn't trying to multitask as I usually am. I struggle with giving myself time to just be a Mommy when I have an uncompleted list over my head.

Start Building: A Master Task List is simply a place to put all those things you need to do. Anything from "Remodel the kitchen" to "Write thank you note to Aunt Nina" goes on the list. You can periodically check it over and cross off the things you've completed, or that have become irrelevant. You can also set a certain day each week, or a certain amount of time each day, to do as much as you can off the list. Alternately, pick one item from the list to accomplish each week, and work on it whenever you have time. It's best, when you want to tackle the major projects on the list, to break them down into smaller task. So, "Remodel the kitchen" would become "Clean out cabinets," "Paint kitchen," "Shop for new refrigerator," etc.

SCHEDULING, SCHMEDULING (YAWN). WHAT'S THE POINT?
Some of us resist schedules because they seem restrictive, anti-creativity, control-freakish. Certainly some schedules are that way. If you're scheduling your time down to ten-minute sections, I think we might need to work on your control freak tendencies. On the other hand, if you schedule nothing and live to follow the natural flow, you not only stifle productivity but you will also end up stifling creativity as well. You live by a schedule whether you admit it or not; a schedule is simply a matter of doing a certain thing at a certain time. When you take initiative to set your own schedule, you can do so according to your own priorities. When you don't set your own schedule, you are not only at the mercy of your own whims (which very often do not line up with your bigger goals and priorities) but you are also at the mercy of others who will not hesitate to impose their schedules on yours... or your lack thereof. So it really comes down to whose schedule you want to follow: yours, thoughtfully laid out, or some haphazard construct of circumstances. Seems like a no-brainer to me, but take the time to think it over if you must.

BASIC SCHEDULING
I like to keep my schedule pretty basic. It includes 1) A Beginning and an End and 2) Time Blocks. There are multiple planning calendars in as many formats as you can dream up. I find them all too complicated for my simple living preferences. This is not true for everyone; my husband loves his Franklin Covey planner and uses it faithfully. I feel restricted by all those boxes with lines and titles. The perfectionist in me just can't leave well enough alone, so I spend more time scheduling in all the pretty boxes than I do actually implementing my schedule. Since the point of a schedule is to simplify and to increase productivity, and I find that the more complex planners accomplish neither goal for me, I stick with my basics and forgo the professional leather-binder look. You might find that a combination of methods works best for you. My advice is this: start simple and be diligent with your simple scheduling techniques. Once you know they work for you, you can tweak and add on and adjust to your heart's delight. Don't start way at the top of the complex calendar hierarchy. The very complexity is too overwhelming to keep up when you're first learning how to schedule, and you'll get discouraged and drop it all.

A BEGINNING AND AN END
This topic makes me think of Julie Andrews in The Sound of Music, when she first attempts to teach the Captain's children how to sing: "Let's start at the very beginning, a very good place to start..." Of course, she drops her little Happy Beginnings song in favor of the inexplicably popular Do-Re-Mi. We, however, shall carry our Happy Beginnings all the way to Happy Endings.

What needs a beginning and an end is your working day. Your entire day is capped on both ends automatically by your bed. You wake up and get out of bed, your day begins. You get sleepy and get back in bed, your day ends. I see no reason to mess with that kind of perfection, unless you need some help on the waking up and getting out of bed part. We'll get to that in another article. For now, we're dealing with the workday itself, the part of the day that begins after you've been awakened by the sound of bluebirds (or the alarm clock) and, I hope, have eaten a halfway decent breakfast. Oh, also, you should get dressed. Maybe even before breakfast.
Your workday beginning may be set in stone already. You have to be at the office at 9:00 am. There you go. 9:00 am it is. For those of us who work in more flexible fields, in which the office hours dictate next to nothing, setting a Beginning is a matter of choice and convenience. If you're a stay-at-home Mom trying to wake, dress, and feed three kids, then give yourself enough time to do that before you try to get down to the rest of your work. If you're a work-from-home small business owner who likes to start the day with a two-hour gym session, then set your workday beginning accordingly.

The End of the workday is just as important as the beginning. Again, this may be dictated by office hours, or it may be a matter of choice and fitting in with what happens in the rest of your day. Perhaps it's 3:00 pm when the kids get home from school. Perhaps it's 6:00 pm when your spouse gets home from work. Perhaps it's 9:00 pm when you realize you haven't eaten anything since noon. (I don't recommend that last time option, by the way.) Choose an End. Put a cap on your working hours. Sure, you can always choose to do "extra" work or finish up projects in the evening if you want to, but that should be something you do because you really want to, not because you have to, and it should never interfere with your family time or social obligations.

My workday beginning is 8:00 am and my workday end is 5:00 pm. Of course there is more that happens before and after those times, but it is within those times that I block out time for work and have specific goals to accomplish.

BLOCKING OUT YOUR TIME
I learned this one from my husband, who implements the concept with his Franklin Covey planner in a way I can only admire. The idea itself is Read the rest of this entry »

Challenge Update: The final day, and I slept in with snooze until about 5:45. So I'm not exactly ending on a glorious note. Overall, though, it's been a good challenge. Reporting daily definitely gives me a sense of accountability that motivates me past some of the slumps I usually just fall flat on.

I will need to continue working on this habit, however, to make it solid. I allowed enough interruptions and "snoozes" to keep it from becoming an unquestioned part of my daily routine. I am convinced that it is worth it. I really enjoyed the time I had in the morning and felt better prepared to deal with the day. I started out feeling ahead of things rather than running behind.

The sleepiness was a problem, probably the most difficult part of the challenge for me to overcome. I could make myself get out of bed physically but staying awake and alert enough to think, read, or write sometimes seemed impossible. I think the best fix for that is getting enough sleep on a regular basis; for me, that doesn't mean eight hours every night but it does mean being aware of when I am tired and going to bed accordingly.

Build It: 5am may be too early for you (or too late!) but the essence of the idea isn't the exact time but that you have a specific time and stick to it, day in and day out, until it is a habit. Once the habit is established, you have a little elbow room for sick days and off days; frankly, though, I would rather get up at my 5am alarm, have that peaceful, calm time, and then get a nap later in the day if I am that tired. Not everybody can work naps in, I understand.

So set a time that works for you and stick to it, consistently, for at least 21 days. Plan your morning time so you aren't left staring blankly at the coffee maker, wondering why you aren't in bed anymore. If that happens, the pull of the pillow will work on you and you will end up buried under covers, zombie-fied, rolling out of bed at the last minute, running around, back to the old frustrations.

Try it. It's worth it.