Ready? Let’s go.
Step 1: Ask a New Question
All those books out there talking about how to improve your life, meet your goals, and be your best self seem to have one thing in common (okay, really, more than one thing but that’s not the point here): they all direct you to spend some time thinking about what you really want out of life. You’re supposed to list goals and dreams and passions, find out what your purpose is, discover your calling, the thing that makes you tick.
I have a different proposal.
Quit asking, “What do I want?” and start asking, “What do I have?”
What’s right in front of you? Gazing at the horizon for opportunities? Try looking a little closer to home.
Wisdom is before him that hath understanding; but the eyes of a fool are on the ends of the earth. Proverbs 17:24
Step 2: Change One Thing
Quick quiz: what’s the one way not to change anything? Answer: try to change everything. Lots of people have great intentions and great ideas, but they spread themselves so thin that they can’t actually accomplish or change anything.
The few who do change are those who focus deliberately on success in one area at a time. Find one thing you need to change in your life and focus on that one single thing.
Step 3: Work in 3D
The 3 qualities that will make you outstanding in whatever you attempt? Simple. Easy. Anyone could be this way.
- Be diligent.
- Work daily.
- Fight off distraction.
That’s it. Really.
Step 4: Start Listening
Empathy is the ability to feel what other people are feeling. You want to be a good wife, a good mom, a good sister, daughter, friend, neighbor, church member. The problem is that all too often we get the needs, demands, requests of others through the filter of our own priorities and emotions. Instead of hearing the actual need, we hear our interpretation, so we then offer the right solution for that interpretation.
Example: Husband is frustrated at work. We think, “Oh, he’s just stressed from that fight he had with his boss, he’s not letting it out.” We offer: “Honey, you want to talk about….?” How often do we miss the real problem because we are busy offering a solution for our interpretation of the problem?
Be different. Be beyond status quo. Start listening to what people say and what they mean. Focus on their words, their emotions, the heart coming through. Open your eyes and ears. You will see the real problem and, God willing, you will be able to offer real help.
Step 5: Beat the Slog
Many, many people have great ideas. Sincere hearts. Motivation. Inspiration. Grand intentions. Good plans.
They even get off to a good start.
They stay consistent with their kids for 1, 2, 3 days at a time.
They quit arguing with their husbands for a week. Maybe even two.
They do great and then… they hit the slog.
First there’s the rush. It’s fueled by enthusiasm and emotion. You’ve worked yourself up into an energetic state about something, you’re motivated, and you take off running. Then, things don’t quite work out. It takes longer. You get tired. You question your motives. You question your plan. You feel like you are wading knee-deep in mud. You are in the slog.
If you keep going through the slog, you will be ahead of 99.9% of the people out there. The slog is where we separate “the ones who really mean it” from “the ones who don’t really care.” You mean it. I know you do. It’s in your heart. You care. Press on, one slow, gloppy step after another. You will get through the slog and you will find yourself further along than you anticipated.
Sharing what you have is more important than what you have. – Albert M Wells Jr.
