SISTER WISDOM : build a better life

This month's free ebook, now available! Click on the pic to download, or scroll down for more details.

• 38 pages
• 10 chapters (if you count the "Additional Resources"; 9 if you don't.)
• Topics include scheduling, household management, finances, social life, and more.
• Creative Commons: reuse, redistribute, remix with attribution
• Brief table of contents:

1. The Day Simplicity Smacked Me in the Face
2. A Simple Version of Simple Living
3. 10 Ways to Start Simplifying
4. Finding Order with a Household Rhythm
5. Finding Peace with a Schedule
6. Finding Peace with Your Budget
7. Finding Sanity in Your Social Life
8. Finding Joy in Your Work
9. 30 Ways to Simplify Your Life Today
10. Additional Resources

The ebook will be free for the entire month of June. After that, it will be available for $5.95. Get it now (that's just simple common sense).

Would you like to review this book or make it available on your website? Please feel free to do so: shoot me an email and let me know and I will add you to a related link list.

Part 3 of the series: The Get-Your-Life-Together Plan

Having 3 kids under 3 forces you into being a simplicity guru. It's not a matter of preference but survival. As I burp my one-month-old and browse for writing jobs with my free hand, I realize something that is, for me, profound: having too many goals is just as deadly as having no goals at all.

Goals should bring freedom.

In order to make progress, you must define and limit your goals. Your goals should free you to pursue what matters and to happily ignore what doesn't. That will only happen as you consciously decide what matters right now and what can (or must) be ignored.  If you want to be successful in modern homemaking, mothering, working, entrepreneur-ing (how's that for coining a word?), then you have to Read the rest of this entry »

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The book: Not Buying It: My Year Without Shopping by Judith Levine, published by Free Press; available as an Amazon Kindle Edition, if you're so inclined.

The format: A month-by-month review of one couple's year without purchasing anything more than necessities.
The review: A more accurate description might be a month-by-month foray into the life and mind of a writer totally taken in by anti-Bush, anti-capitalism, anti-republican, anti-war cultural popularisms.

Let's not blame her. She is, after all, a writer living in New York City and New England. She has simply become what is accepted in her particular subculture. Honestly, when did you last hear of a pro-bush, New York City-based writer actually published?
I don't critique her in order to defend Bush. Frankly, I'm not a great fan myself, but my aim here is not to dissect the politics of the thing but to review the part politics play in her book. I picked it up because I am interested in people trying to simplify, in a less consumer-oriented life, in the reality of trying to live a little differently than the culture around you.

Levine provides a statistically supported, well-researched critique of consumer culture and is fresh and honest about her place in it. Her personal struggles with buying and not buying, her changes in lifestyle, her experiences in the social sphere as a non-consumer: these are the essays that pique and tingle. She is honest about her less-than-ideal habits, her penchants for newness (to which we can all relate), her failures; she is humble and realistic about her success.

She loses me, however, when she attempts to define the failings of capitalism and the problems with rich (read: non-third-world) countries by applying cliches of the liberal leaning to problems of commerce, economics, and wealth distribution. Stereotypes just don't do enough. The "bigger" issues, in this case, are not better for Levine.

Perhaps that's because, on the political spectrum, I am far more Republican than I am Democrat. Maybe I can't handle the criticism where it touches my party leanings.

Or maybe personal, real experience tells a story better than political musing. Where Levine remembers, and writes thus, the book is interesting no matter what your politics. When she doesn't, however, which is a lot of the time, she inspires me to take the title advice in real application to the book itself.

More: Levine's 2006 radio interview with Doug Henwood of Left Business Observor. (Downloadable or listen to streaming audio.)

Levine's 2006 radio interview with Diane Rehm of the Diane Rehm show. (Listen to a segment or purchase the cd or transcript.)

An interview (text) about Levine's 2002 book Harmful to Minors: The Perils of Protecting Children from Sex from Salon.com. (There was a good deal of controversy about the book when it was published, which the introductory article summarizes.)

Levine's blog, her other books, and an excerpt from Not Buying It.

Tools of Simple Lunches

To-go containers
Leftovers
Non-cook options
Heated options
Prepared fresh food

Using the Tools

To-Go Containers
For those who must take their lunches or prepare them for others who take them to work or school, your choice of to-go containers can make lunch simple or complicated. Disposable, restaurant-style boxes are a good option if you find that your Tupperware never makes it home. Yes, it is more waste and more recycling, but if your plastic containers disappear you have to replace them. Better to replace paper than plastic.

A good thermos is indispensable for colder weather. Sandwich bags, zipper-type bags, paper lunch bags, plastic wrap, foil: there are endless options. The best way is to determine what type of lunches you will be making regularly, then stock up on containers that work for you. If you, your spouse, and/or your child will bring home reusable containers, they are best. If not, get something inexpensive and make of recycled materials if possible, and keep a good supply on hand.

Leftovers
You can provide almost every lunch from left-over dinner meals, if you so choose. Make more than is needed for dinner for your family, and go ahead and portion it out into the appropriate lunch container before dinner. Don't feel that you have to wait until everyone has eaten and scrape up what is left. If you know you have more than enough, remove the part that will be someone's lunch. We tend to eat as much as we see available: more if there is more, less if there is less. Help fight obesity and remove the lunch portion before it disappears at dinner! Read the rest of this entry »

The Tools of Simple Breakfasts

To-go breakfast edibles
Options: non-cook, quick-cook, make-ahead
A well-stocked freezer
A specific breakfast time

Using the Tools

To-Go Breakfast Edibles
Every now and then, or perhaps more often than that, you're going to have a morning that just won't come together. It's best to be prepared and keep a supply of breakfast items that can be eaten en route. Granola bars, protein bars, bananas or apples, or any of the multitude of breakfast bars are all good options. Except for the fruit, all of those options are rather over-processed to be a healthy choice for every day. But when you're in a pinch and you know it, it is better to eat something processed than nothing at all. Combine a banana or apple with a protein bar and you won't be doubling over from hunger at mid-morning.

Options: Non-Cook, Quick-Cook, and Make-Ahead
Non-cook options include cereal and milk, yogurt and granola, fresh fruit of any kind, bagels, and smoothies.
Quick-cook options include oatmeal, cream of wheat type cereals, toast, and eggs.
Make-ahead options include breakfast casseroles and any baked goods you make yourself: muffins, scones, biscuits, etc.
The idea is not to have all of the options listed above and pick your way through them each morning. We're going for simple. Knowing your morning schedule and approximately how much time you have both to prepare, eat, and clean up breakfast, you need to choose the options that best fit. If you're looking at ten minutes, go for the non-cook options, preferably those with little or no cleaning needed, like fruit and bagels. Add a glass of milk to get some protein. If you have twenty to thirty minutes, you could opt for one of the quick-cook options. Twenty minutes is enough time to make toast, scramble an egg, eat, and put your dishes in the dishwasher. Thirty minutes is enough time to make oatmeal, cream of wheat, or an omelet, eat, and clean up.
The make-ahead options could work for shorter or longer time periods, if you have the time and desire to make breakfast the night before. You can put together a breakfast casserole while you're cleaning up dinner (or during your extended weekly prep time) and keep it in the refrigerator. In the morning, simply pop it in the oven while you shower and dress, then take fifteen minutes to sit and eat. Or if you enjoy baking, make up a batch of muffins or scones. You can go ahead and cook them so they're ready to grab on your way out the door, or you can get the batter from the refrigerator, cook them while you get ready, and enjoy them warm and fresh.
What you don't want to do is take on more than your morning can accomodate. Don't try to make an omelet if you have to leave in ten minutes. Save those labor-intensive, more elaborate breakfasts for the weekends. Waffles, pancakes, and the like are great as a Saturday morning brunch or a Sunday evening meal. Read the rest of this entry »

The Tools of Simple Weeknight Meals

A weekly meal plan
A well-stocked pantry
An uncomplicated kitchen
A weekly grocery trip
One extended prep time per week
Simple staples
Leftovers

Using the Tools

A Weekly Meal Plan
There is menu planning, and then there is life. The two don't go together very well. You can plan all you want to make that beef stroganoff and rice pilaf and chocolate mousse on Tuesday evening, but when the washer breaks and floods the basement on Tuesday afternoon, your dearest plans are (literally) washed away. We don't know exactly what a day will throw at us. After unexpected and stressful situations, there is nothing worse than realizing you have nothing to eat that will not demand an hour's prepping and cooking time. Not good.

A weekly meal plan is sort of like a menu, but allows for ahead-of-time preparation and flexibility. Assuming you will eat out one night per week, you are left with six nights that demand some sort of meal for yourself and your family. A weekly meal plan could be as simple as this: 1) Pasta, 2) Soup, 3) Chicken, 4) Sandwiches, 5) Fish, 6) Slow Cooker. You can have the same kind of pasta, soup, chicken, etc. every week if you want to, or you can mix it up a little and do a different pasta sauce and a new kind of slow cooker dish. You have six options, however, and you shop for and prepare for the six options each week. Then, whatever the day throws at you, you have food that is planned and somewhat prepared and requires little more time or effort from you. Read the rest of this entry »

Variety is the spice of life, but when it comes to food and sanity, repetition is key to success.

Food can be as complicated or as simple as you allow it to be. Most of us don't spend much time thinking and planning, so menus and meals become a complex and frustrating burden. The truth is, we eat the same things most of the time. If we would plan for that and learn to shop ahead and prepare ahead just a little more than we usually do, meals can become simple and enjoyable. When you don' t have to scramble and spend lots of time in the kitchen for every meal, you might find yourself wanting to make something a little extra, like a new dessert or loaf of bread.

Or you might want to read that new magazine. Whatever.

You don't need to feel bad about feeding your family the same things more often than not. We all like what is familiar; there is something very comfortable about knowing what to expect. Introducing new foods and recipes comes much easier when you are not stressing about every meal. Let simple routines take the place of the frantic look through the refrigerator. Let a well-stocked pantry take the place of last-minute runs to the grocery store. Let easy, fresh side dishes take the place of over-processed mixes. Simplicity in your meals does not mean you only eat bread and water; it means you stick to what you know, plan ahead, and add in new dishes as your time and budget allows.

Go to Simple Living: Weeknight Meals
Go to Simple Living: Breakfast
Go to Simple Living: Lunches

Image courtesy of Darwin Bell on Flickr.

Do an internet search on simple living and you'll get a host of responses, ranging from those who are committed to cutting back from five Starbucks frappuccinos per day to merely one to those who have renounced all excess, all materialism, and all technology... except for the internet. Simple Living is the catch-phrase for those motivated to escape city life and the rat race and move out to a farm in Vermont where they can raise chickens and organic rutabagas and watch the sunset from their rocking chairs on the quaintly weathered front porch. Simple Living is the promise of a thousand self-help books, a thousand time management books, a thousand personal development books, and ten thousand websites on the same subjects. Simple Living can be had, purportedly, by cutting back on time spent at work, by taking longer vacations, by thinking consciously, by practicing yoga and meditation, by cooking only organic food, by eliminating the stress-inducing people in your life, and by getting rid of clutter.

Hmm. Personally, I enjoy all the time I spend "at work" and I don't really want to cut back at all. I guess longer vacations might be nice but by the end of that two-week Christmas break I'm usually rabid for a normal, productive routine again. I'm not sure of any way to really think except consciously; isn't that the very meaning of thinking? Yoga, meditation, organic food... great things, certainly, but if simply added to an already unsimplified life they will only become so much more complication. As for eliminating the stress-inducing people in my life, I've found that they are usually the ones I am related to or close friends with. It is the very closeness and depth of the relationships that creates the opportunity for stress. I don't get stressed out about the day-to-day problems or emotional upheavals experienced by my acquaintances. It's not that I don't care, theoretically, it's just that there's not enough emotional connection to produce true empathy. But if it's my husband or sister or best friend, well, that's another story. And I'm just not willing to eliminate them for the sake of simple living. Call me crazy.

Getting rid of clutter seems like a valid concept in the search for simple living. In fact, my personal definition of simple living is just that: a life without clutter. Clutter. Unnecessary details. Extraneous, inconsequential items. "Our life is frittered away by detail...simplify, simplify," said Thoreau, the ultimate Simple Liver. He cut the clutter to a point a tad too extreme for most of us, but I respect his premise. I also respect the fact that he uses the word "fritter," which, frankly, I find rather hard to do in a serious sentence. I digress.

Clutter. Clutter is the natural enemy of simplicity. Clutter always creates a state of disorder which, in turn, creates a feeling of unrest and unfinished business, of urgency, of stress and anxiety and an overwhelming desire to just chuck it all and flee to the Bahamas. Few of us actually do chuck it all and flee to the Bahamas. If we did, we might find that simplicity after all, thanks to clutter. What happens more often, though, is that we keep slogging through the morass of clutter, hating the way we're living, dissatisfied with where we're going, frustrated by how we are forced to spend our time: on the mundane, the unimportant, the things we really don't care about.

Remember those days in school when all your homework seemed pointless? You spend a couple of hours reading the assignments, maybe drawing a map or copying equations, and the question ringing through your head the entire time was this: "How will this possibly do me any good in real life?" Do you ever feel that way now, maybe halfway through returning a phone call about a school bake-sale or organizing papers for another board meeting? Do you hear that question again but choose to ignore it? It scares you too much because you know this is real life. And if all this stuff you're doing isn't doing you any good, then your life must be pretty pointless.

Lest you despair at that last statement, ponder the mantra of Anonymous Organizations everywhere: The first step is admitting you've got a problem. You've got to admit you're overweight before you'll commit to a diet. You've got to admit your metabolism has slowed down before you'll commit to an exercise regimen. You've got to admit your finances are in bad shape before you'll commit to a budget. And you've got to admit you're crazy before you'll commit yourself to Shady Acres. Oops, that last one just slipped in there. What I meant to say was this: You've got to admit your life is cluttered before you'll commit to simplifying.

I sense the development of a brand-new slogan here: Admit and Commit. I can just picture a crowd of women, all of us with slightly unkempt hair and slightly out-dated wardrobes, holding hands and chanting together, "Admit and Commit. Admit and Commit. Admit and Commit."

Maybe we don't need to go so far as to have a Cluttered Lives Anonymous gathering (though it's probably not such a bad idea), but we do need to quit wasting time. Quit frittering life away, as our friend Thoreau says. We are dissatisfied with cluttered lives because we know we can do more and be more. Fear keeps us in the clutter. We fear change, we fear disapproval, we fear getting lost in a wilderness of the unfamiliar. So we stay where we are because we feel somewhat secure in a life that is predictable. It isn't enjoyable, maybe, or exciting, or fulfilling, or even close to what we dreamed about five or ten or twenty years ago, but we've learned what to expect from it and we know how to respond.

My challenge to all of us honorary Cluttered Lives Anonymous members is this: Admit you want something better. Then commit to one action that will bring you closer to whatever that better might be. I don't think you should quit your job, end your friendships, leave your spouse, quit talking to your kids, drop all your social activities, or throw out all your material possessions. In fact, I think the worst time to make those kind of decisions is when you are frustrated, stressed, and worn out by the accumulated details of a cluttered life. Simple Living isn't an all-or-nothing bargain. It's a series of choices that you make that takes you from spending the majority of your time on the unimportant to spending the majority of your time on the most important.

Think about one small habit you could change in your life. Think about one of those mundane details you find yourself constantly checking. You are the most qualified person to find a way to eliminate that detail. Can you incorporate it into a routine so it doesn't require continual decisions and attention? Can you eliminate it altogether? Can you delegate it? Can you shoot it out of a bazooka so you never have to think about it again? Can you make it part of something you do enjoy? Start thinking and then do it. This can be the first choice you make toward a life that is simple and fulfilling.