SISTER WISDOM : build a better life

Today's guest post is by Sarah Jessica of From Tolstoy to Tinkerbell. If you're interested in writing a guest post, see the guidelines here.

As modern homemakers, we love lists—any type of list. If we didn't, why would we make them daily? We have our to-do lists, our grocery lists, our school supply lists, our chore lists, our book club reading lists. Written in brief bullet points, rattling off the essential needs for the household to run smoothly; lists give us power. They show us that we are reasonable, rational beings who can minimize text for maximum efficiency and benefit.

We also cling to other important lists such as People's 50 Most Beautiful People, Forbes' list of the most influential people, and perhaps the most intimidating (or at least for me) The New York Times bestseller list. Perhaps, we glance over this book list, go the local bookstore and peruse over the recommended titles. (Maybe the New York Times bestseller list is not one that you follow. Insert whatever book list whether it is romance novels, Christian devotionals, classic literature—whatever books' lists, the specific list is not important.)

Books from self-help to postmodern novels to presidential memoirs stare down at us with their glossy dust jackets and $25.00 price tags. We may leave feeling disillusioned, disengaged, or worse: buy an expensive dust-collector for the ever growing collection of expensive dust-collectors. We return to the mundane, wishing to engage our minds, but despairing in our lack of fortitude since we did not follow the book list. All of these books come highly recommended by “the book list,” our fellow book club friends, everyone except us.

Reread that last sentence (I helped you out with the wonders of copy/paste)-- “All of these books come highly recommended by “the book list,” our fellow book club friends, everyone except us.” We disengage our minds because we are too busy comparing our desires, interests, and emotional responses to others. By comparing ourselves to others', we set ourselves up to be disappointed.

engage your mind: quit comparing

The first step to engaging our minds is to give up comparing our likes/dislikes to our friends, co-workers, neighbors, and mostly importantly, the recommended book list. We must openly admit that there are books, blogs, magazines that we DON'T LIKE! I have a list of authors that I have tried, really, really hard to enjoy—Ralph Waldo Emerson, William Faulkner, D.H. Lawrence, Harriet Beecher Stowe—to name a few. This does not in any way negate those who do enjoy these writers from appreciating these texts. I would prefer to have my tongue nailed to the kitchen counter everyday before breakfast than read these authors' works. I have learned to admit what I don't like so that I can spend more of the precious time I have reading what I DO LIKE!

engage your mind: be enchanted

The second step to engaging our minds is to be enchanted with our reading. I believe Emily Dickinson in her poem best describes how we women should approach our minds/reading:

I think I was enchanted
When first a sombre Girl --
I read that Foreign Lady --
The Dark -- felt beautiful –( Poem 593).

Enchantment. When was the last you time that you picked up a book, enthralled by its contents, smell, the feel of its pages, utterly absorbed in the emotional ecstasy of the written word? After we discover what we like to read, we must move to what we LOVE to read.
Books that we love should move us toward a higher plane, ignite within us a new curiosity, encourage us to think deeply. Books I love are the ones I read over and over just because I continually find new facets of the plot, characters, or the language itself. The books that have enchanted me always give me a reason to return to their well-worn, ink-marked pages.

engage your mind: join a community

The final step to engaging our minds is to find/create a community. Once we are enchanted with a book, poem, short story, blog, we need the support of others to keep our minds focused. There is no right or wrong way to find or create this community. Whether you choose to write a blog professing your love of zombie haiku, or gather other people who share your passion for cookbooks and create a five star worthy French bistro dinner—we need community. Community opens up dialogues, and dialogues reaffirm our enchantment with the written word.

Today, I am enchanted by Emily Dickinson's poetry (if you couldn't tell). My love for her poems has been rekindled. I'm enthralled, enchanted. I invite you to join me.

“There is No Frigate Like a Book”
Emily Dickinson

There is no frigate like a book
To take us lands away,
Nor any coursers like a page
Of prancing poetry.
This traverse may the poorest take
Without oppress of toll;
How frugal is the chariot
That bears a human soul!(Poem 99)

What book has enchanted you?

Today's 2 Cents Courtesy of:

Sarah Jessica grew up reading, thinking, musing which led her to pursue a Bachelor's and Master's degree in English. This Virginian settled in the Carolinas where she lives with her husband Mark, two beautiful step-children AJ and Ashley, and three rambunctious English Springer Spaniels: Ginger Snap, Cupcake, and Ophelia (Ophelia was thus named when no one in Sarah's family was hungry). She is currently writing blog posts for From Tolstoy to Tinkerbell, and you can follow her on Twitter.

I tend to avoid books when they are on the bestseller list; it's kind of a reverse snobbishness, I guess.

So I avoided Captivating the first time around, despite the fact that I'd read The Sacred Romance (by John Eldredge and Brent Curtis) and loved it, and despite the personal recommendations I received. I can't, thus, tell you much about how this revised-and-expanded version is better than the original.

But I can tell you that, if you are a woman this is a book worth reading. Not if-you-are-a-woman-and-a-Christian, just: if you are a woman.

Why? Not that the Christian thing doesn't matter, but that every woman struggles on some level with the issues that the Eldredges talk about. Their philosophy and, yes, their solutions are Biblically based; for non-Christian women, I can understand that might be a turn-off. But I urge you anyway: stride through the Scripture quotations and sit still for the stories and the truths that aren't tied up in church-speak.

And for Christian women, this book can help you step out of the easy answers so often given via church-speak and deal with the hurts it's quite possible to hide but impossible to truly forget. The heart of this book is about remembering, about dealing with the lies that tell us to forget-about-it, quit-making-things-such-a-big-deal.

This book helps us to understand why some things are a big deal, and should be, and how we need to look at them and find out what they're telling us. As we acknowledge, and remember who we really are, we can let go not in self-denial or resentment, but in true freedom. That's a good read.

Details:

Captivating: Unlocking the Mystery of a Woman's Soul. By John and Stasi Eldredge. Revised and Expanded. Thomas Nelson Publishers, 2010. Purchase or get more information at the Amazon product page.
Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from Thomas Nelson Publishers as part of their BookSneeze.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Beautiful Things Happen When a Woman Trusts God

by Sheila Walsh

Thomas Nelson Publishers; 3 out of 5 stars

I like this book, I do, so I feel kind of guilty being harsh in my review. But repetition bores me, and the writing in this book is very formulaic. Each chapter follows the same format: personal story or anecdote, parallel drawn to Biblical character, more insight into Biblical character interspersed with additional personal anecdotes, conclusion, and then the "transitional sentence" to lead into the next chapter. Read the rest of this entry »

From the feed reader...

• Abby at New Urban Habitat, Frugal isn't cheap: "But frugality can be more fun than the mindless consuming many of us got in the habit of doing in the previous decade, because we end up spending money on what we really want."
• Rachel at Small Notebook, My Real-Life, Practical Daily Routine: "Instead of having a schedule that would be ignored day after day in real life, I follow a daily routine of touchstones — key elements to mark a successful day.
• Philip Brewer at Wise Bread, What I've Been Trying to Say: "You can't go back and change decisions that have already been made, but that doesn't mean that the design for the rest of your life is immutable.  Start today to design the life that you want to be living."

From the bookshelf...

• Eleanor Roosevelt, You Learn By Living

Read my full review here.

Mini Review: Practical advice for personal growth and a successful life, from the era before self-improvement was the big market share it is now. Roosevelt is easy to read and understand but profound. Her advice is practical, with personal examples, and I found myself copying lots of quotes and wanting to paste them all over the walls in my bedroom.
Find it on Amazon.

• Mindy Stearns Clark, The House That Cleans Itself

Mini Review: If you're not a natural housekeeping/organizing goddess, you will love this book. The concept is that instead of fighting our naturally slobbish tendencies (or those of family members), we should identify them and create systems that work for us instead of against us. Brilliant! I love this! I always feel like housekeeping is a battle, and I've already used some of her ideas and seen some of the most irritating problems get much, much better. I'm going to be tackling more of my house this year and Clark's book is my guide.
Find it on Amazon.

What's your recommended reading this week?
Join in by linking up your post, or simply share in the comments below.

I think that having learned our letters we should read the best that is in literature, and not be forever repeating our a b abs, and words of one syllable, in the fourth or fifth classes, sitting on the lowest and foremost form all our lives. {Henry David Thoreau}

There is a great deal of difference between an eager man who wants to read a book and a tired man who wants a book to read.  {G.K. Chesterton}

The stories of childhood leave an indelible impression, and their author always has Read the rest of this entry »

I recently took on the Book Blow-Out challenge from Blue Archipelago. (Which is a great book review site, along with my other favorite, Book Reviews for Real People.)
I "joined" the challenge on July 8th, and just today (the 14th) I posted my reading list.
I've been working my way quickly through the first book, however: Emma Brown by Clare Boylan (and Charlotte Bronte). I'm about 2/3 of the way through; I took a nice break on Saturday morning while Marzipan and Wick were napping and Joe was at work. Me, comfy chair, cup of coffee with French Vanilla Creamer... and a good book.
I'll post a review once I've finished it.
I love being a writer. It's such a great excuse to read all the time.

Everyone should read. Reading makes you a bigger, better person. I love reading, but I must confess that I am very particular about what I read. I have strict standards: Read the rest of this entry »

Challenge Update: The days when Joe is off work are always either the most or the least productive of my week. Day 5 (Wednesday) goes on the most productive side. He was on a get-things-done rampage so I just tagged along.

Finished reading Peony in Love by Lisa See

Better Life Tip: Some days will be more productive (in terms that we measure) than others. That's okay. Relax and let there be some roller coaster movement in your life. It keeps things interesting.

Challenge Update: Progress again. I hit snooze a couple of times. (I had my phone, which functions as my alarm, beside me in my little bedside basket. Bad idea. It works better when it's in the kitchen and I have to get out of bed to turn it off.) I had no trouble staying awake, though, once I was out of bed, and I enjoyed the time to sip my coffee, write, think, pray, read.

I've just started a Bible reading plan again. I had been wandering kind of aimlessly through parts of the Old and New Testament. My church had copies of this one-year plan, and it has you read four different passages each day, with about five catch-up days per month. I started in Genesis, Psalms, Matthew, and Acts. I like the structure. Sometimes I need to be told what to do or I get lost in the options. I also like putting a little check mark in the box beside each portion of the day's reading. Genesis 9 - 11, check. Psalm 4, check. Matthew 2: 13-23, check. Acts 2:22-44, check.

One Year Bible Online has a similar plan available. You can download it (it is a .pdf document) and print it out. However, it has no little checkboxes and no catch up days in the schedule.

For the ultimate in check box accomplishment, check into the reading plan offered by Christianity.com. You become a member (it's free), and record your progress online.

I don't want to degrade the Scripture to a tick mark on my to-do list, but I do need help being consistent at reading the Bible and having a plan to follow helps me.

Improve Your Life: It could help you too. Find a Bible reading plan and get started. If you don't want to tackle the Bible in one year, do a search on Bible reading plans. You can find one to fit your schedule.

Be Open-Minded: If you're thinking, Why would I want to read the Bible every day? here is a chance to think outside your box. Oh-ho, my secular friend, are you tolerant enough to read something regarded as a holy book? Try it. I dare you. Even if you don't believe the Bible is holy, it is full of stories and wisdom and principles that will challenge and help you. Are you open-minded enough to try it?