photo credit: angelocesare

I’ll just up and say it, because I hate those posts that build up a huuuuuge secret (to $1000 a month! to work-at-home secrets! to twice the productivity for half the effort! for perfect children! for great summer hair!) and then just let you down with something lame after you’ve made it through the whole-entire-not-really-worth-reading post.

The Big Secret to Getting Things Done as a Busy Mama

<drum roll>

People can wait.

People can wait without damage to their eternal well-being, developing psyches, or sense of relational importance.

Things can wait.

Things can wait without much damage at all to um, anything, including their non-eternal well-being.

The Right-Now Fallacy

Does Junior need his sippy cup right now? Does your best friend need you to return her call this very instant? Will the laundry disintegrate if it is not folded and put away immediately? (Regular scientific studies performed at my house say No, so you can breathe a sigh of relief on that one.)

The Right-Now Fallacy says

• if you don’t do it right now, it doesn’t count.
• if you don’t do it right now, the world will end.
• if you don’t do it right now, it means you don’t care.
• if you don’t do it right now, you’ll forget and never do it.

That little tyrannical monster looms big in our lives because we let it.

My husband will ask me to do something minor: return a call, schedule a get-together, sew on a button, pay a bill. And I think, for some reason, that I have to drop everything and do it right now. Which isn’t, as it turns out, what he means at all (most of the time).

My children will ask for a thousand hundred things in the course of a single moment, and they do mean right now.

Hold me, look at me, watch me, listen to me, help me, read to me, be with me, snuggle with me, get me a snack, get me a drink, get me some lunch, get me a treat, wash my hands, comb my hair, I need a ponytail, I need help with my shoes, I need to reach that toy on that high shelf that I will forget about approximately 20 seconds after you get it down for me, and so on.

Valid needs.

Who am I to discount the need to hold the tantalizing toy for 20 seconds? (Um, I”m the MOM, that’s who. But never mind. That’s not the point here.)

The point is, even very valid and real and important needs (snuggle! read! help! change diaper!) can wait for a little while without causing any major catastrophe. (IMPORTANT EXCEPTION: exploding diapers should be dealt with immediately or dire consequences will result. I am warning you, straight up, don’t wait around on those. IT GETS UGLY.)

The reason this is important…

(because I hear you, you’re probably all like Ummmmkay, how is this helping me to get things done?)

…well it’s like this.

Much of our frustration as busy mamas is due to the continual interrupting that is part of life with children (and, ahem, husband).

Now interruptions are not necessarily evil (that point could be argued), but the result is that we wander off to meet urgently expressed need without finishing or even wrapping up our current thing-in-progress, and by the end of the day we wander dazed through the house and see about fifteen dozen things-in-progress that we were never able to get back to doing all the way, and it is frustrating, disheartening, and overwhelming.

And we begin to resent those interruptions, and it is our own fault because, darn it ladies, we take them too seriously. And that is our own fault.

Try this and see how it effects your ability to get things done.

Next time you are interrupted, answer courteously with a “Yes, sure, I will be happy to take care of/help you with/draw twenty-seven blueredandpurplerainbows for/etc as soon as I finish this thing.”
Then: finish it.
THEN, and only then, go take care of the request-in-queue.

You already know the outcome, don’t you?

If you took the extra five or ten minutes to finish emptying the dishwasher, paying the bills, writing the article, playing the song on the piano, putting away the baby’s clothes, having the conversation with your sister, writing the note, mopping under the table, reading the chapter, editing the draft, or whatever it is, you wouldn’t have fifteen-leventy-dozen unfinished things at the end of the day.

And probably, nobody will be worse off for it.

Yes, of course there are exceptions. And yes, of course there is one valid danger that I admit to, the danger that you will completely and totally forget the request-in-queue while you are finishing the task at hand.
A real danger.
I have a solution for that, too, which I was going to write down as soon as I finished writing this… and, um, I forgot it…

Get back to you on that.

photo credit: The Welsh Poppy

168 Hours, a book by Laura Vanderkam, is one of the best treatments of time management, productivity, and busyness that I’ve ever read.

And I’ve read quite a few books on those topics, being semi-obsessed as I am with, well, time management, productivity, and eliminating busyness so I can just do what matters most.

Step 1: get some expert advice, then follow it.

One thing that Moms and other busy, distracted people can do to start taking action (instead of running around like headless chickens) is to take the advice given by experts to busy professionals and apply it to their own lives.

Sometimes Moms tend to wallow in Mom-oriented advice which, while often entertaining, isn’t always good. When you’re really looking to get down to the important stuff in life and quit wasting time, do you need another primer on making summertime crafts or coming up with a new menu plan? Nah.

There’s a time for those, but first you need to get the basics in order. (Disclosure: for me, there is never really a time for “making summertime crafts.” The closest I come to that is having popsicle eating contests with my kids.)

So, from the expert (Vanderkam, not me), here are four principles (and my accompanying diatribe) that can help you quit wasting time and start taking action.

1. Seize control of your schedule.

You are the master of your own fate. If you want to make excuses and let other people obligate you to do stuff, that’s still your choice. I’d recommend not going that route by learning and using one little word: No. It’s a great word. You can say it nicely, and repeat it often, and it will be very effective.

Another thing you can say is, “Hmmm, I’d love to help you but I’ll need to check my calendar first.” And be sure you don’t check it right then while standing in front of the person. Wait. Give yourself time to really think through whatever request has been made of you: is it important? Does it fit in with your priorities? Do you have any desire to do it? Are you even interested? Does it pertain to life at all? Will it cause you to cut out important things? What do you have to say no to in order to say yes to this request?

Your time belongs to you and only you. What you do with it is up to you and only you. If you choose to be passive and let other people fill up your time, that’s still a choice you’re making.

2. Do not mistake things that look like work for actual work.

Ehhhm, summertime crafts? Not work. Now if you’re into crafts, and that’s something you want to do (with or without your kids), power to you. It’s your choice what you fill your free time with, and it should be stuff you enjoy.
But work is different than hobby, free time, fun time, family time, and so on. Define what work is for you, whether you’re a stay at home Mom or a work at home Mom or not a Mom or whatever. Know your work so you can know what your work isn’t. Know your work so you can make work a priority. Know your work so you can take a break from it.

3. Get rid of non-core-competency tasks by ignoring, minimizing, or outsourcing them.

Nobody, and I mean nobody, is good at everything. And nobody has to be.

You may not have the budget to hire help for all the stuff you don’t enjoy/aren’t good at, but you can find ways to make it take less of your time.

• You can streamline your cleaning and housekeeping chores. Lower your standards a little bit. You have other stuff to do. If you get a kick out of cleaning your baseboards monthly, do it. But if not… um. Let it go.
• You can trade off with your spouse. Who says he has to mow the grass and you have to make dinner? What if you’re a rotten cook and he’s an amateur chef? Play to your strengths, people. Everybody will be happier.
• You can quit doing stuff. Not everything is essential. Truly, truly evaluate the things that take up your time and just get rid of stuff. Will your family suffer or the world quake because you choose not to do something? Probably not. Drop stuff that you don’t like and that doesn’t matter; spend time on the better stuff.
• You can hire cheap help. Your own kids, neighborhood kids, students, friends, family members… Set a price on something (painting the bedroom? cleaning out the garage? organizing your paperwork? watching the kids? washing the car? picking out new curtains?) and then find someone who’s willing to do it for that price.

4. Boost efficiency by getting better at what you do.

Read up. Practice. Take a class. Set up routines and systems to enforce your best work patterns. Treat yourself as a professional and invest in the ongoing education you need in order to be the best at what you do, whatever that is.
The people who are most productive are people who are very good at a limited number of things, and who focus on doing those core things. Get very good at what you do, and do more of it.

Focus is key in getting things done. Be diligent at what you’re good at and see what happens. Let other things go, unimportant things.
Distraction is the enemy of focus. Planning becomes procrastination and procrastination is the enemy of action.
What distracts us?

Distraction #1: Prep Work

Before I can write or exercise or go here or fix that, I need to… get my gear, do my research, find my tools, what-have-you.
Solution: set aside a designated prep time. Take 5 minutes and list what needs to be done to get ready, then do it as quickly as possible. Set a time limit and don’t go over it.
And, once you’re prepared, note what that looks like and change your habits a bit so you now keep all your gear in one accessible place.

Distraction #2: Opportunities

We love opportunity in America. It feels anti-American to hear opportunity knocking and not answer the door. I am telling you right now it’s okay. Lock the door. Deadbolt it, turn off the lights, and hide under the kitchen table so Opportunity thinks you’re not home.
We’re blessed because we live in a world where anything is possible. With endless possibility though is endless distraction. If you don’t focus on a few possibilities, then none of them will become reality.
Solution: Make a list (big) of your top goals, your priorities, your Absolute Yes list. Tape it up. Compare every single opportunity to it, and only consider the ones that get you closer to your goals.

Distraction #3: Details

Details matter, but there’s a time to focus on them and a time to pretend they don’t exist. As a writer, I can easily slip into detail-edit mode while I’m writing. I break my flow, my concentration, by nitpicking over a word choice. I have to make myself focus on the writing and ignore the “detail” monitor in my head. Once I get a piece written, it’s time to go to edit mode.
If you’re organizing your house, teaching your kids, or writing a book, you deal with the same tendency. You have to fight that perfectionist tendency (need matching containers and a labeler, need new crayons and stickers and better curriculum) in order to get the job done.
Solution: Break projects and steps toward your goal into two parts: 1) get it done and 2) fix the details. Set a time limit to complete the first part: get it done. Then, if you have time left over and you still really want to, you can go back and fix the details. Often I find that my attention to detail was really just a way of procrastinating. I might be overwhelmed or tired, and I’m looking for a way to avoid the work altogether. Quit letting yourself make excuses, set a short time limit, focus, and do all you can. Then quit!

Distraction #4: Side Issues

Rabbit trails tend to lead us on interesting journeys but at the end, we end up lost. “Where am I? Why am I here? What am I doing?” You know that dazed feeling? It comes from this common problem: letting a related side issue pull you so far off course you can’t remember where you started.
I’m sweeping the kitchen when I find a toy on the floor, so I leave the broom and take it to the toy box, when I notice the toys are all mixed in a jumble and I’ve been meaning to sort them so I start sorting them, find a pencil, leave the toys to go put the pencil away, notice the dining room table looks awful, get out a new tablecloth, start looking for candles for the centerpiece, wander out, trip over the broom and wonder what it’s doing there.
Ehhhh. Nobody wants a day like that, but we let it happen to ourselves all the time.
Solution: Keep a notebook handy, or a list on the fridge; keep a small basket handy too. When you’re working, drop the random out-of-place stuff in the basket. Jot notes on the notepad to remind you of stuff to do later. Deal with it later, after you’ve finished your current task.

Another solution: Get in the habit of checking off each task as you complete it. This means you’ll want to write it down first, of course, and if you’re not already using a planner or list of some sort, you should because it will take a load off your brain. Finish a task, check it off. This reminds you to stick to it, gives you that little high from getting to mark it done, and shows you what’s next on the list. It’s a win-win-er…win situation.
Online solution: Since the Internet is basically just email with 10 trillion side issues attached, a click away, this is a big problem for, well, anyone who checks email. A few ideas for solving this:

• use a reader for your blog subscriptions (thus yr not distracted by the cute sidebar ads and buttons)
• use an email client which downloads your emails into a desktop interface
• keep a note of ‘want to check out later’ either on yr computer, in an email draft, or on a real piece of paper. have some designated ‘computer free time’ to check that stuff out later.
• have ‘focused computer time’ and free computer time. and OFF-SCREEN time. Too. Lots of it.
• employ the 5-second rule. you click, you’re at a new site, you’ve got 5 seconds. Is it worth your time or not? There’s so much good stuff that you don’t need to waste time on the mediocre. If it’s not great, let it go. Close the tab. If it is great, add it to your reader, book mark it, put it on your list.

The end.

Freedom from distraction is freedom to focus.

Freedom to focus is freedom to accomplish.

All things are lawful, but not all things are profitable. All things are lawful, but not all things edify. (1 Corinthians 10.23)

This post is part of Steady Mom’s 30-Minute Blogging Challenge.

I check my email kind of obsessively. Some of you use Facebook quite obsessively. (You know who you are.) Just start checking in with your Joe’s Goals page when you check email or Facebook or Twitter or whatever you’re hooked on. It has helped me keep track of what’s going on with my day (I kind of use it as a scheduler plus a goal tracker). I can see progress. I can put in little checkmarks.

I love little checkmarks.

Really. Go. Set it up. You can thank me later.

Image Credits:  WPClipart 

Why am I writing about this topic? I don’t want to be up right now. It’s 10:47 am. I’ve drunk 4 cups of coffee. I’ve written 2 blog posts, applied for one writing position, read, fed my babies breakfast, talked to my sister and my Dad, made bread, helped Marzipan sit on the kid-potty five times, and put the babies down for a nap. I want to put myself down for a nap.

I got up at 6:13 this morning. My alarm went off at 5:00. No, I didn’t hit snooze. I got up, turned off my alarm, used the bathroom, nursed Wick, stared at the coffee brewing, and crawled back in bed. My husband is so warm and cozy. Bed is so warm and cozy. The computer is like an alien. The coffee maker is slow. It was still dark outside.

There was this one time when we stayed up waaay past midnight.

I did a monthly challenge of getting up early. It was difficult. I wasn’t completely unsuccessful, but not consistent enough to make it a habit.

Since then I get up at 5 probably 3 or 4 days out of the week. The other days I sleep until 7 or 8, as late as the babies will let me. I like it when I get up at 5. I get lots done. I feel ahead. I write before anyone else is awake. I have ideas. I read the Bible. I pray. I think about the day. I know I would be calmer, happier, and more productive if I would get up early every morning.

It’s still a challenge, obviously. Sometimes I just don’t want to get up. Sometimes it’s because my night-owl husband kept me awake until 1am. I’m not sure what to do about that yet.

I did some internet research on this How to Get Up Early topic.

It’s hand-in-hand with productivity gurus, entrepreneurism, life hacks, zen-ism, and other continuing, popular blog discussions. I make fun of these discussions, but I like them. I read them. I’m interested. I want to be a life-hacking, zen-thinking, productive entrepreneurial guru too. Apparently I have to get up early in order to achieve that goal.

Here’s what they say:

• Steve Pavlina: If you don’t get up early you’re wasting a lot of time. You should get up early.
• Leo Babauta: If you don’t get up early you’re wasting a lot of time. You should get up early.
• Dave Cheong: If you don’t get up early you’re wasting a lot of time. You should get up early.
• Matthew Stibbe: If you don’t get up early you’re wasting a lot of time. You should get up early.
• An entire blog on early rising: If you don’t get up early you’re wasting a lot of time. You should get up early.

I’ve paraphrased them all a bit. I don’t know why I can’t get this idea out of my head:

If you don’t get up early you’re wasting a lot of time. You should get up early.

I want to, I really do. I’ll be back later with more on this. Maybe early tomorrow morning…

Finished reading Peony in Love by Lisa See

Better Life Tip: Some days will be more productive (in terms that we measure) than others. That’s okay. Relax and let there be some roller coaster movement in your life. It keeps things interesting.

I feel a lot less pressure during the day. I am still running around like crazy, doing stuff, but it seems to be flowing in a more logical order rather than starting a project, remembering I have something else on the list of the day, stopping to do the thing on the list, etc. I am starting and completing things in a more streamlined way. I feel busy but not rushed. I also stopped a couple of times to just play with the kids or take care of them and wasn’t trying to multitask as I usually am. I struggle with giving myself time to just be a Mommy when I have an uncompleted list over my head.

Start Building: A Master Task List is simply a place to put all those things you need to do. Anything from “Remodel the kitchen” to “Write thank you note to Aunt Nina” goes on the list. You can periodically check it over and cross off the things you’ve completed, or that have become irrelevant. You can also set a certain day each week, or a certain amount of time each day, to do as much as you can off the list. Alternately, pick one item from the list to accomplish each week, and work on it whenever you have time. It’s best, when you want to tackle the major projects on the list, to break them down into smaller task. So, “Remodel the kitchen” would become “Clean out cabinets,” “Paint kitchen,” “Shop for new refrigerator,” etc.