Cynicism is a form of resistance, a walling off of the possibilities for transformation. Mary Pipher

Challenge Update (Friday): Here's an example of a typical to do list back in the days when I used one of those:

Now here's what Day 7 of this adventure looked like.

The difference I am seeing between the days with a list and the days without a list is that I am tackling bigger things on these list-free days. Previously, I would right down those little details to remember: call someone, email someone. I would get up in the morning, glance at my planner, see a list of five things to do besides my normal daily activities, and think I just don't have time for anything major today. I was planning myself out of being productive.

Details are tricky that way. I've forgotten a few details over the last week because I haven't written them down. I haven't gotten all of my daily tasks done everyday. But I have accomplished some bigger things at the expense of details and daily tasks. The priorities have shifted. The big projects now take precedence over the details. Is it dangerous to forget the details? Sometimes. It is much easier to catch up on details than it is to catch up on big projects. I can sit down and pay bills, answer emails, or return phone calls in about thirty minutes. Nothing bad has happened because I dealt with those things later rather than sooner.

Thoreau said, "Our life is frittered away by detail... Simplify, simplify." (He also said, "We should distrust any enterprise which requires new clothes," and while that doesn't apply to this discussion I think it is sound advice. No charge for that extra.)

Simplify, simplify. Some details are important, necessary, and life will suffer if we neglect them for very long. Brushing your teeth, for instance, or buying groceries, bathing your child (and yourself), talking to your spouse. Important details. Many details are unimportant fillers. We pay attention to them because they seem urgent and they give us a sense of immediate accomplishment. They are busy work, distractions, tools of the procrasinator, impediments to our larger goals. In their right place, they cause no harm. In the wrong place, they are the pebbles we trip over that cause us to fall back down the mountain.

Better Life Tip: Put your details at the end of the day. Devote a half hour to "detail clean-up." Don't let them distract you from accomplishing the bigger projects.

Challenge Update: This morning the alarm went off, I got up, and though I'm a little sleepy, I feel more human than zombie-like. This is a first for the last couple of weeks.

I haven't been getting enough sleep and this is why: my habit is to go to bed when I get sleepy, say, when I can't concentrate on the page I'm reading or the movie I'm watching. Lately, I've been busy moving around, talking to people, working physically on projects. We are remodeling our basement; every night Joe comes home and works for a couple of hours and I try to help. We've also had several C.O.P.S. meetings, formal and spontaneous. When I'm active with work (physical) or with people (conversation), I don't get those "hey-I'm-sleepy-and-should-go-to-bed" cues.

I've been feeling depressed in the evenings, too. I hate being depressed, so when I start feeling it I immediately try to figure out what the cause is. Do I need some time with Joe? Am I worried about something that I haven't shared with him? Did I get my feelings hurt and not talk about it? Am I upset with someone and stuffing it instead of dealing with it? Am I overwhelmed? Have I committed to too much? This time I haven't been able to pinpoint it, though, and that bothered me. Lots.

Last night we finished dinner and Joe and I flopped down on our big cushy couch-chair to talk and play with Mara for a few minutes before starting on the basement. As I'm leaning back, watching Joe and Mara (in a rousing game of "Get the Pen Out of Daddy's Pocket, Drop It Behind Your Head, and Pretend You Don't Know Where It Is," one of our favorites), I feel my eyes get heavy... and heavier... and I realize something...

1. I am very tired. Sleepy. Ready for bed. Past ready for bed. Desperate for sleep.
2. Depression (for me, low energy + self-pity + "hopeless" feeling + no motivation) is because I am physically weary.
3. It is barely 8pm.
4. For the first time, it occurred to me that maybe I'm trying to do too much. I got up at 5, read my Bible, wrote 2 articles, exercised, cooked, cleaned, did laundry, took care of babies, ran errands, ordered a birthday gift, picked out songs for church, did website work, read books to Mara, nursed Robbie (4 times), talked to my sister on the phone (3 times), and finished reading a book I started the day before. And I was disappointed because I didn't get to planting my seeds for seedlings.

When I'm going nonstop from 5am and only feel bad because I didn't do more, perhaps my perspective is off. I'm getting so low on energy by evening that it is translating to depression. I'm falling asleep if I sit down for five minutes. My standard response has been not to sit down for five minutes. Ignore the signals, keep pushing on. Last night I decided that was stupid. So I put the kids to bed, cleaned up the kitchen, and put myself to bed. Joe told me to get some sleep, and he worked on the basement (by himself, sweet man).

Eight beautiful hours later, I actually feel good. Awake. Hopeful. Energized. And a little humbled.

I like to believe that I am Superwoman. Some days I can pull it off, and those days make me think I should be able to pull it off all the time. I get so caught up in the energy and accomplishment of doing things that I neglect the basics. Sleep. Relaxation. Talking. Resting.

I put "Decide on Next Monthly Challenge" on my calendar this week. I know what it is now: a month with no to-do list. I need the freedom. I need the discipline of not focusing on accomplishments and check marks and productivity for productivity's sake. March should be an interesting month.

Improve Your Life: Simplify your schedule. Write down your appointments, activities, and just two or three to-do items. Give yourself some breathing room. You might actually be more productive.

Be Open-Minded:
You must learn to say no when something is not right for you. Leontyne Price

...the eyes of man are never satisfied. Proverbs 27:20
God does not judge us by the multitude of works we perform, but how well we do the work that is ours to do. The happiness of too many days is often destroyed by trying to accomplish too much in one day. We would do well to follow a common rule for our daily lives--DO LESS, AND DO IT BETTER. Dale Turner
He who trusts in his own heart is a fool, but he who walks wisely will be delivered. Proverbs 28:26

Challenge Update: Yesterday I took some time to plan my week and get it all in my planner, which I have been neglecting to do. Knowing I had a plan made both getting up and staying awake better. It is motivating to have goals but you need more; you need to have a course set for yourself to reach those goals.

Improve Your Life: Take a few minutes each night to review your day and, in a planner or journal, make a simple plan for the next day. It doesn't (and shouldn't be) complicated or dictated by the half-hour, but it helps to have a short to-do list and an order in which to do things.

Be Open-Minded: Most people don't schedule their off-time, such as evening and weekends, with priorities or to-do lists. Some of us don't even really schedule social events; we just wait and see what comes up at the last minute. It's important to relax, but why not plan for things you want to do rather than waiting to see if something you enjoy will spontaneously happen? Try it some night this week or next weekend: plan a specific time for something you want to do, whether it be personal or a family event or a social outing, or just something you want to do at home that keeps getting pushed aside by the more "important" things.

Challenge Update: Day of Rest. (Hey, God commanded it; who am I to argue?)

Improve Your Life: Plan the major events of your week and block in some "rest time" for yourself. Sometimes we feel it is selfish to take time out, but maintaining yourself physically, emotionally, and spiritually is a gift to all the other people in your life. Make a few "appointments" throughout this week, even if it is just for 10 or 20 minutes, and mark them on your planner. Then keep the appointments with yourself! If at all possible, work in at least one longer time for yourself and don't use the time to catch up. Use it to rest, do something you enjoy, relax, and be renewed.

Be Open-Minded: An important part of life improvement is learning your own weaknesses and times of vulnerability. I've learned that after a long day, when the night is growing late and I am getting very tired, I become much more negative in my thoughts and self-pitying in my attitude. It's best for me not to have any serious discussions, make any plans, or try to think through major issues at that time. In what situations and at what times do you become more negative? When do you feel most vulnerable? When do you notice your attitude going downhill? Start noticing those times and see if there is a pattern. How can you protect yourself and others from the possible negativity of those moments?

11 February - A Better Monday

Success today, though not entirely because of my own efforts. Robbie is sick with this nasty cold and he woke up 4:30 congested and still feverish. I don't usually feed him until around 7:30, but I am of the persuasion that, when sick, the more breast milk, the more antibodies, the better. So he ate and I was thoroughly awake after a couple of coughing fits of my own.Accountability, whether real or imagined, is a powerful motivator. Knowing I will write about my success or failure in a public outlet, after having committed to a monthly challenge "out loud," makes this less of a personal process and more of a promise, a guarantee.

Sadly, in the past I've not valued the promises made only to myself enough to keep them. One reason for that failure is the bad habit I have of making too many promises. I want to do so much, try so much, be so much. I forget that I'm not SuperWoman.

A lady I admire very much told me once that every Yes is also a No. Yes to another activity, event, workshop, writing assignment, job, whatever, is No to dinner with family, time with kids, date with husband, relaxation, rest, home priorities. There is a price to pay for every commitment I make: the time and effort required plus the value of what I am unable to do because of the commitment.

Some things simply aren't worth it. Even an overwhelming sense of obligation (where does it come from?) doesn't change that fact.

I want to get in the habit of saying Yes to my family and No, or Wait, to everything else until I know it's worth the price.

Go see Menu Plan Monday in all its glory.

I am on target this week! A MENU ACTUALLY PLANNED. Hallelujah.

Monday: Cube Steak and Rice with Tex-Mex Gravy
Tuesday: Fresh Bread, Big Salad
Wednesday: Savory Meat Pies, Fresh Fruit
Thursday: Pasta, Salad
Friday: Meat & Potatoes (probably Beef Roast and Mashed)
Saturday: Slow Cooker Chicken (either this one or this one.)