SISTER WISDOM : build a better life

I get us all on a pretty, shiny schedule, and these silly kids won't quit growing. Mara stays awake through at least one naptime, now, wreaking havoc instead of sleeping peacefully. The days of two extended kid-quiet times are over.

Yesterday I kept Mara up in the morning while Robbie napped as usual. I didn't really have a plan, just a vague idea that I would throw some toys over in the living room and she would play quietly while I wrote for a couple of hours as usual. Every person reading this who has a child is laughing right now. You know what happened, or rather, what didn't happen.

She did pretty well at staying in her designated play area; we've worked on that before so it's nothing new. But the playing quietly all by herself - when Mommy is still in sight - oh ha ha.

"Mama, cor?" (color) "No, baby, not now. Mommy's working."

"Mama, wead? Book?" "No, sweetie, not now. Mommy's working."

"Mama, choo choo tree?" (choo choo train). "No, Mommy's not going to play with trains right now."

"Mama! Boo!" (Her little head pops up from behind the bench at the dining table. I can't help laughing. The scenario repeats two hundred times.)

I didn't get much work done yesterday morning. She took a great nap in the afternoon, so I think the schedule works well for her, but by afternoon my mental abilities move at a slug-like pace. I can do general no-think stuff, like pay bills and cook and deal with the mail and answer emails, but actual writing doesn't go too well after 3 p.m. So I took a nap, too. I guess the day wasn't a complete loss.

Last night, after putting the babies to bed and whining to Joe for a bit, I took a nice long soak in the bathtub, because that's what I do when I need to think. (That, or take a long walk, and I was just not feeling up to it.) Here are my options: 1) Quit trying to do anything other than just the Mommy/run the household thing. 2) Continue shutting Mara in her room during morning nap time, giving her a pile of books, and hoping nothing catastrophic happens. 3) Figure out a way to keep her occupied with her own "work" while Mommy works.

Oh, #3 I like! Actually, #1 sounds appealing when I'm tired at night, but I really enjoy writing, web design, and helping Joe with his business stuff; even if I wanted to quit, I probably couldn't extricate myself at this point. And I've done solely the Mommy/Household thing for months on end; while it was challenging and fun, a significant part of me was missing. I got bored. I started to contemplate taking up complicated craft projects that require a large investment in many tiny itty bitty supplies. But I don't like crafting. You make "crafty," I make "crappy." It's just not me.

I like a pile of projects on my to-do list. I like learning new things, writing, reading, thinking, analyzing information, writing, compiling, finding resources, researching, organizing projects, managing, writing.

So. #1 is out, #2 is stupid. #3 is it. Brilliant. How?

I've been reading about Montessori methods lately (you can see my post on it here) so I decided that's what I wanted to incorporate, on a very small scale. Basically, next to my office, set up a play area for Mara with several different activities that she can get out and put away herself, a little Mara-sized table and chair, and provide a little direction when needed. I figured that would work for about an hour or so, then I can let her watch a Baby Einstein, and then rest for 20 or 30 minutes, because she still gets a little tired. (At this point I stopped planning, because my hands were all wrinkly. Time to get out of the bathtub.)

One problem: my current "office" is the dining room table. This morning I tackled clearing off half of the long table Joe uses as a desk in the basement. It's a work in progress (don't look at the far end of the table, past Joe's really huge monitor, to the piles of stuff.) It's workable, though; I have a nice, big, clean work space for laptop, papers, books, phone, big glass of water, camera... And I can use Joe's chair because he's not here in the mornings. Whoopdedoo!

I have a big rug on the floor over to the right. I found a little green table that is the perfect Mara size, and she has a paint can for a stool, plus her own little rocking chair. I'm still working on the activities; today she colored for quite a while, then played with her number and shape cards until I decided it was movie time. Yes, she interrupted me several times, but with a little direction and encouragement she kept herself occupied for the most part.

I'm thinking this can work. I'm hoping. I'm really, really hoping...

Maria Montessori, you better not have made this stuff up.