Best-Laid Plans
I intended to write a light little introductory chapter for our first day. I wanted to be witty and warm and welcome you with a sweet story about my own romance.
But I make the wrong plans often. Sometimes I don’t realize it, and I plunge right in just to run in circles until God gets my attention. Today, though, I happened to be sitting still long enough that I heard Him before I plunged in. I turned to my reading for the day and stopped on this verse:
“For if the bugle produces an indistinct sound, who will prepare himself for battle?”
{1 Corinthians 14:8}
Sound the Alarm
And that’s when I knew. This first day isn’t a cozy coffee chat, because this whole course isn’t a feel-good fluffy pat-on-the-back for Christian women. It’s a wake-up call, and the first thing to do when you want to wake someone up is sound the alarm.
We don’t need a statistic about divorce or a lecture about the homosexual movement to know that Biblical marriages are rare and getting rarer. We do need to put down our political picketing signs and take an honest look at ourselves. What should concern us most is the apathy and hostility that creep into our own hearts and poison our own marriages. Yours. Mine.
Why Does This Matter?
There is nothing more effective in winning the lost, changing the world, and building the kingdom of God than a man and woman side by side, united, strong, set apart, set on fire, ready to reach out to those God brings their way. A man and a woman like that are a warrior-team: they pick each other up, help each other, keep each other strong. They are not easily broken in the front lines of battle; two are stronger than one.
Watch Those Little Foxes
Women, if you are Christian and married, you are in a battle for the state of your marriage every single day. The most effective way to disarm this warrior-team? Not direct attack. It’s the little foxes that creep in. It’s culture-speak and stereotypes. It’s a little offense. A hurt feeling unforgiven. A careless word, and then another. Bad habits. Laziness, busyness, holier-than-thou-ness.
Christian couples don’t intend to end up apathetic, hostile, lonely, adulterous, divorced. But when we fail to see the battle we are in, we make a deadly mistake.
Your Home Is Your Battleground
We think we’re safe if we keep ourselves “out of the world,” but we fail to see that the world walks right in with us. Our homes, our attitudes, our thoughts, our words, our habits, our actions, our choices, our relationships, schedules, agendas, priorities, daily life: this is where the battle rages.
This is your wake-up call. God has put it on my heart to sound the alarm, to cry out boldly to my sisters, to tell you this one thing: you must prepare yourself for battle and you must fight for your marriage.
The Marriage God Intended
I don’t believe any of us have to settle for a marriage that is mediocre. No, you won’t get perfection, but you can get a marriage that is joy-filled, passionate, fun, strong, and honest. You can be your husband’s best friend. Your days and nights together can be precious, free from strife, and full of a holy purpose that you pursue together.
Marriage on God’s terms isn’t the usual. It will look funny to people. It might look funny to you. Getting there can be painful. But getting there means you get to wake up in the morning and say, “This is my beloved and this is my friend,” about the man next to you. Getting there means your marriage gets richer and better, not stale and sad. Getting there means your kids grow up hoping they’ll have a marriage like you someday.
Are You Willing?
Don’t aid and abet the enemy through ignorance any longer. Face the enemy: the enemy of your own flesh, of the world, of lies, of sin, of the devil. Fight the enemy: by being honest, humble, and willing to change. Defeat the enemy: make choices that build up your heart, your husband, and your home.
You are equipped. You are able. Are you willing?
Image courtesy of
alancleaver_2000.
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This post is Day 1 of the Build a Better Marriage Challenge.
It’s a 30-day challenge to be deliberate about building a better marriage. We’ll talk about some of the common obstacles to a better marriage (marriage killers) and some of the important habits for a successful marriage (marriage keys). We’ll also work through some of the misconceptions that affect our marriage, faulty thinking we’ve picked up from our culture, our pasts, and maybe even from the church. Each day’s reading will end with a 5-minute marrige check and a 5-minute action point, so you can take it on home.
Join in
via the Mr Linky on the challenge page. You can also just read along, but remember that all challenge participants will receive a free copy of the ebook at the end of the challenge.
Here’s to better, stronger, happier marriages!
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