The Witching Hour
Every day, just before the time my husband is going to get home from work, something strange happens in my home. The kids have just had a long nap and a snack, but they get inexplicably whiny. The house looks dirty all of a sudden. The pile of laundry on the bed increases fourfold. The plans I had for dinner seem inadequate, and my feet hurt, my back hurts, my head hurts, and what-I-wouldn’t-give for a little peace and quiet…
Welcome home, honey.
I’m embarrassed at the times Joe’s walked in the door to that atmosphere. It seems like on those days, when I’ve “just had it” and all I need is a little relief, he’s just had it at work too. Wierd. I’m drained; he’s drained. All I want is to sit down; all he needs is a little rest. My day was constantly busy, but seems unproductive now; his, too. The kids are clamoring for our attention, and when Joe and I meet eyes it’s with a mutual question of “How soon can bedtime come?”
Whose Fault Is It, Anyway?
I blame it on the undone items, usually. If I hadn’t had so much to do, if I’d gotten a bit more done, if the kids had napped longer, if the phone had rung less… then the house would be clean, laundry put away, dinner on the table, make-up on my face, kids neat and happy, and I’d feel better because it wouldn’t be there waiting for me. When it isn’t that way, I feel tired just looking around and then I feel resentful. Why should I still have to work once Joe gets home and is off work? Why does my job never end? Why doesn’t he notice what needs to be done?
Hmmm. Wondering where those kids pick up that whiny attitude?
Two things are necessary to kill the whine. And it’s necessary to kill the whine in order to eliminate that witching hour and make the Welcome Home, Honey, a genuine welcome.
1: Kill the expectations.
2: Have a party.
The Secret of Happiness
Here’s a secret that every woman, mom, wife should learn from day one. Want to be happy? Quit expecting to be served. Drop it. Set your sights, from the moment of waking up onward, to doing your job fully and without expecting anyone else (such as, ahem, your husband) to pitch in and do it for you. You are the CEO of your own life and life’s work, whatever that includes. Take charge of all of it, not just the parts you enjoy. See it to the finish, not just to the moment Hubs walks in the door and you decide to throw the rest in his lap.
The secret of a happy family is a happy mom.
Once you let go of that ball-and-chain (the expectations are the huge, heavy ball; your emotions are the chain), you’re free to do your job AND to enjoy it at the same time. This is when the party starts. You may not have it all done by the end of the day, but that’s not really the happiness issue. You are. If you’re tired of whining, dragging, and nagging through dinnertime, bathtime, and bedtime, turn up the music. Get your kids with you and dance your way through making dinner and folding clothes. Sing at the top of your lungs. See how many neighbors you can shake out of twilight tiredness. Get out in the front yard, play freeze tag, throw water balloons, make daisy chains.
You’ll still be tired at the end of the night. You may have to finish folding those clothes at 10pm instead of 7. But the kids will be asleep with dreams of how fun their Mommy is, your husband will be humming a tune, and you’ll be matching socks and smiling a little secret smile.
Photo courtesy of charles chan * on Flickr.