I tend toward what is easy. Discipline, pain, sacrifice? I shudder at the thought. Yesterday the sermon was on being spirit-led. Sounds nice, but it was uncomfortable: controlling your appetite, saying no to what you want, realizing that the urge toward what is easy, comfortable, and instantly gratifying is probably the opposite of what spirit-led means.

Everything worthwhile that I have done has required discipline, pain, and sacrifice. Think about pregnancy and birth. Even getting married, candy-coated as that time was, required change, which is always difficult, and leaving behind the old life to begin a new one. Read the rest of this entry »

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a d**n fool about it. W.C. Fields

Challenge Update: And so, with the advice of eloquent Mr. Fields at my back, I call an official end to the experimental month of Life Without a To Do List. I wouldn't call it a failure: I didn't write a to do list for the last 26 days, so I have adhered to the challenge. I wouldn't call it a success: I can't see any significant life improvement. A bit more perspective, perhaps, and understanding of how a to do list can either be useful or a method of extending my control-freakish ways. Perhaps that does make it a success.

March was a strange month, anyway. It was probably the best possible month to forego my usual list addiction; from remodeling projects to plumbing problems to sickness to out-of-town guests to flooding, March has been full of things keeping me from routine. If I had been making to do lists this month, they probably would have been untouched at the end of the day, which would have made me feel even more out of control.

That is what I have learned from this challenge: lists make me feel like I'm in control. Especially when I can accomplish what is on the list. But even when I don't get it all done, it gives me a sense that at least I know what isn't done. I am aware of what waits for me, what is lacking, what must be tackled. Without that list, I feel like I am floating. I may be missing something important. I may have forgotten to pay a bill. I don't know.

Are lists good or bad, then? Both. A list can become a lifeline, when what I really need is an afternoon off or a date with my husband or a chat with my best friend. A list can make me dependent on accomplishing and leave me feeling that without a record of my accomplishments (however insignificant they are), I am unimportant, unrecorded, lost, meaningless.

A list can keep me on track, though, when distractions are everywhere. A list can point me back to my priorities and help me focus on the truly important even when those urgent things are screaming at me. A list can help me reach my goals. It lets me see progress. It also lets me see when I am trying to do too much, if I am willing to look.

After (almost) a month without a list, I am willing to look. I am not willing to write a 20-point list and feel guilty at the end of the day when I haven't accomplished it all. I am not willing to substitute list-making and checking off items for time and conversation and rest. I do want to stay on track, and see progress, and reach goals. So I am stepping back into a life with a to do list, but this time it is a tool and not an end in itself.

Better Life Tip: Make a careful list of all things done to you that you abhorred. Don't do them to others, ever.
...Make another list of things done for you that you loved. Do them for others, always. Dee Hock

Challenge Update: Yesterday I took some time to plan my week and get it all in my planner, which I have been neglecting to do. Knowing I had a plan made both getting up and staying awake better. It is motivating to have goals but you need more; you need to have a course set for yourself to reach those goals.

Improve Your Life: Take a few minutes each night to review your day and, in a planner or journal, make a simple plan for the next day. It doesn't (and shouldn't be) complicated or dictated by the half-hour, but it helps to have a short to-do list and an order in which to do things.

Be Open-Minded: Most people don't schedule their off-time, such as evening and weekends, with priorities or to-do lists. Some of us don't even really schedule social events; we just wait and see what comes up at the last minute. It's important to relax, but why not plan for things you want to do rather than waiting to see if something you enjoy will spontaneously happen? Try it some night this week or next weekend: plan a specific time for something you want to do, whether it be personal or a family event or a social outing, or just something you want to do at home that keeps getting pushed aside by the more "important" things.

Create a definite plan for carrying out your desire and begin at once, whether you are ready or not, to put this plan into action. Napoleon Hill

The quote above is the antidote to the plague of perfectionism that keeps so many of us in a place of continual dissatisfaction and failure to reach our goals. We are waiting until we are ready, until the moment is right, until everything is in place, until Situation A is resolved and Situation B is over and Situation C is no longer demanding our time.

Conditions are never just right. People who delay action until all factors are favourable do nothing. William Feather

Waiting, waiting, waiting. Waiting until we feel ready. Waiting for energy. Waiting for motivation. Waiting for certain conditions. We call it prudence, or thoughtfulness, or planning, or timing. The Bible calls it being a sluggard.

The sluggard will not plow by reason of the cold... Prov. 20:4

The sluggard always has a reason why now is not the right time. The sluggard never has enough energy to get himself moving. He doesn't feel good. He is depressed. He has many ideas but no movement. He has grand intentions but never takes action. He cannot produce the force necessary to get him out of the rut he lives in and onto the road he envisions.

As the door turneth upon his hinges, so [doth] the slothful upon his bed. Prov. 26:14

We call it perfectionism; the Bible calls it being slothful and warns us of the consequences:

The soul of the sluggard desireth, and [hath] nothing... Prov. 13:4

We think of lazy people as those with no ambition, no dreams, no ideas, no plans. Not true. Lazy, or slothful, or sluggish, simply means, respectively, to be disinclined to action, to be inactive, or to be habitually inactive and slow. One who is sluggish has no power to move himself.

Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it's always your choice.
Wayne Dyer

The pull of perfectionism is the pull to stay still. Motivation lies in taking action: one step leads to another. Progress creates more progress. You must learn to take action even when you don't feel like it. You create the energy you need by acting as if you have it before you feel it.

Faith follows facts, and feelings follow faith. Too often we get that process all in reverse. We wait for the feelings; then we start to believe; then we assume that, since we feel it, and believe it, it must be true after all. But what if you stop "feeling it"? Suddenly your faith is shaky because the foundation - those ever-changing feelings - is shaky. Feelings change. Faith crumbles. You are back at the beginning. It must not be true after all. "I guess I wasn't supposed to start that business." "I guess I'm not really a writer." "I guess it just wasn't meant to be."

Get your facts first. Are you, or aren't you? Do you want it, or don't you? Is it worth it, or isn't it? Can you do it, or not? Is it a real desire? Have you made it a real goal, whatever it is? Whether it is a career change, a lifestyle change, a health issue, a new habit to form or an old habit to break, a relationship to evaluate, or a personal goal to achieve, you must take the time to find out what is true. Weigh the pros and cons. Discuss the matter with wise people you trust. Read about the subject. Pray about it. Determine what the goal is and how you best to get there; determine that you should and will get there.

Build your faith next. Be firmly convinced in your mind that the object you mean to pursue is worth pursuing, then just as firmly reject any suggestions to the contrary. Do not allow negativism, other's opinions, and temporary obstacles to create doubt of what you know to be true. Begin taking action. "Faith without works is dead" is not trite religious phraseology. Take one step and then another. Persist.

The feelings will follow. You may not feel like a successful writer; feelings are irrelevant. If, after thought and deliberation, you determined that you should and will be a successful writer; if you begin taking action consistently toward that goal; if you do not allow discouragement and daily life to sway you, soon you will begin to experience the feelings that you expect.

Success seems to be connected to action. Successful people keep moving. They make mistakes, but they don't quit. - Conrad Hilton

Keep moving forward. Do not allow the pull of sluggishness to keep you down. The warnings are there if you do - you will not see your desire accomplished. The promises are there if you refuse to give in:

...The soul of the diligent shall be made prosperous. Prov. 13:4

Motivational quotations from Goal Setting Guide.

Scripture quotations from Blue Letter Bible.

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but desire fulfilled is a tree of life. Proverbs 13:12

Lately our major project has been the basement: a huge, unfinished area full of all the stuff we didn't know what to do with. There's a floor-to-ceiling stack of servers and processors, a row of old computer monitors, multiple boxes of smaller computer parts, and stacks of computer books. That's just my husband's stuff. Then there's mine: two sets of dishes that I have no room for in my kitchen, fondue sets, vases, material scraps, old files and notebooks and papers, boxed-up baby clothes from 0-3 months to 3 years, my "before the first pregnancy" clothes, maternity clothes, and "in between the first and second pregnancy" clothes, and stacks of other, non-computer books. Then there is all the stuff we have accumulated for and from ongoing projects, such as countertop remnants, scrap lumber, unused 2x4s, dismantled shelving, a roll of insulation, a half-used bucket of drywall plaster, and many small drywall pieces.

I never pondered the idea of inanimate objects procreating until we had this basement. It - and all the stuff in it - has a life of its own. We've given away clothes and books, had a garage sale and donated the leftovers, sold furniture and household stuff online, and hauled away many loads of trash. Still the stuff just fills the space. Everytime I walked down the stairs to do laundry I just tried to overlook it. It has been so overwhelming to think about clearing out this space into something usable... until now.

I had to get frustrated enough with the mess and the waste before I was willing to take on the scary beast of a basement. It seemed such an enormous project that I felt like I needed to schedule hours and hours to it, and it is hard to find lots of excess hours just sitting around. Finally, driven by frustration to action of any kind, I just started tackling one small pile at a time. Joe set up some cabinets on one end of the largest room, and one by one I hauled out boxes, sorted through them, took out the nasty, worthless stuff, organized and arranged the good stuff, and put it all away in a cabinet or a nicely labeled box. Slowly I cleared out the storage space off the bedroom and returned my sorted and labeled boxes to it. Slowly I worked my way through the piles of stuff in the bedroom itself until I could see almost the entire floor again. Everyday a little more order appeared, a little more space, a little more progress.

Two days ago, with the help of a friend, I attacked the last of the bedroom to get it completely emptied and ready for use as an actual bedroom. It took us twenty minutes to clear out the rest of the clutter, remove the lumber remnants, hang a curtain over the storage area entrance, wipe down the walls, hang a curtain over the window, and sweep the floor. Twenty minutes!

Yesterday Joe was off work all day so we decided to set up the bed in the newly emptied bedroom. It morphed into an afternoon-long workaholic's dream, but after five hours of hard work we had the bedroom ready for a guest, moved Joe's workspace over close to mine so we have a dual office, and transformed our previously cluttered and junked office/extra room into a clean and cozy library/lounge. One afternoon!

I started seriously working on the basement, one box at a time, only about three weeks ago. There's still a lot to do. The floors are rough, unfinished concrete. The walls need to be sanded and painted. The light fixtures are an eyesore. The piles of lumber and building materials are still there. Our half-installed bathroom is still half-installed as we get the necessary time and money (and a plumber!) to finish installing it. But progress is beautiful and inspires more progress. Overcoming a box or two that first day led to overcoming two or three boxes the next day, and from there we have made these giant leaps into two habitable rooms and a working office. No, not perfect, but better. Much better.

"Desire fulfilled is a tree of life." A tree bears fruit; it produces something beautiful and useful. Seeing our desires fulfilled, even in small pieces, is the push, the fertilization and water and nutrients and sunshine necessary to get that tree bearing good fruit. The more we let projects and goals sit around, untouched and overwhelming, the sicker and sicker our hearts become over them.

Make a move toward a big goal or project, just one small move. If you want to organize that dreaded clutter beast in your home, just get one empty box - a small one, maybe - and fill it up and throw it out. If you want to schedule your days and use your time better, get a notebook and start making a list of things to do and appointments to keep. If you want to be a better friend, pick up the phone and call, even if you only leave a message. Start. It can be a small start, it can seem insignificant, but the energy it provides from even the small amount of progress you see will push you on toward the next step and more progress. The wonderful thing about making progress is that it is cumulative: each day's progress builds on the progress of the day before, and you get to look back at that valley of hope deferred from a higher and higher distance.