SISTER WISDOM

build a better life. start today.

how to live without fear Comments Off

Filed under faith
Written by Annie on 10th Aug -11

One Lady Leaping Creative Commons License photo credit: Lauren Manning

How do you live without fear? How do you choose to love generously, unselfishly, freely?

Fearlessly?

You start by asking a few introspective, rhetorical questions, apparently… (at least that’s what I’m doing)

  • What do I fear? That people will see me – small, hopeful, eager, unsure – and reject me?
  • That I will provide only disappointment?
  • That my dreams are too big for my britches?
  • That I won’t measure up to some immeasurable standard?

You can’t be motivated by fear.

You can be bullied by fear, but not encouraged. Fear only pushes you into corners, closets, tight, dark, “safe” spaces. Fear inhibits.

You can be intimidated by fear. Out of fear, you want to please (who?), provide the right image, live the right kind of life. You get so busy trying to please others that you lose yourself. Fear clouds the clear vision. Fear confuses.

When you’re full of fear:

you don’t know what is important. You’re confused. Priorities? Uh… Your days are hit or miss. You’re running, scrambling, doing but never feeling like you’ve done enough.

You’re treating adults like children and children like potentates. You have a bad case of control-freak-itis. You’re envious and resentful, everybody has it better than you.

You’re tired but refusing to ask for or accept help. You can’t relax. You want your way or nothing. You’re not submitting, resting, growing, learning, enjoying. Instead, you’re resisting, defending, grabbing, creeping, scurrying from one day to the next.

For consider your calling, brethren, that there were not many wise according to the flesh, not many might, not many noble; but God has chosen the foolish things of the world to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to shame the things which are strong, and the base things of the world and the despised God has chosen, the things that are not, so that He may nullify the things that are, so that no man may boast before God. 1 Cor. 1

Why are we so susceptible to Fear?

We’re always trying to stabilize the transient things, solidify and structuralize these fluid circumstances and gatherings and moments and keep them untouched, unchanged, endlessly repeating. All because of fear.

We fear change, the unseen, unknown, unfamiliar. What if? What if?

What if we really held onto God as our safety? We would be able to accept change and still be safe.

We want safety.

We want stability.
We sacrifice so much for that feeling of safety, which in the end is still only a feeling, a sensation, a myth because the things of this world are passing away – all of them – no matter how solid and strong and sound and structured and stable they are.

(Still, she thinks, I wouldn’t mind just to experience that feeling for a while, even if it is just a feeling….)

The feeling of safety lures us, like a drug.

We see change as a precipice, we get near the edge and panic. Oh fear, my companion! Oh anxiety attack, my next of kin!

Quick, scuttle backward to some presumed safety net (a closed door, a steady paycheck, a smaller life, all the ruts of familiarity).
Feet on ground. Head in sand. We do not dare jump over that edge. It wouldn’t be smart. It wouldn’t be stable. It wouldn’t be safe.

Would it?

You can’t risk it.

Can you?

Or do you pull yourself out of the fog, the negative what if, and choose to see God everywhere (He is) and choose to know that He is faithful (He is) and jump – LEAP of faith! – (crazy, yes!) – into thin air over the edge?

Will you fall?  If you fall, a God you know also knows you. If the God you know is everpresent and evergood, He will be waiting and He will be willing and there is no fear, no fall, only freedom.

And then the what ifs starting ringing in your ears again, just when you’ve almost convinced yourself to DO IT, JUMP! GO! RISK! LEAP!

We whisper this to a friend, a brother, a sister, a spouse, a parent, and well-meaning, well-wishing, all sweetness and good intentions they say, Yes, but….
“Yes, but…”

“Yes, BUT…”

With God there is YES. Not “Yes, but…”

All the what ifs end with Him.

What if I stopped worrying  and simply did my work and trusted God?

What if I lived and moved and had my being in God’s economy and simply opted out of the world’s mess?
What if He did care?
What if even my mistakes in His hands bcame tools and steps that moved me to good?
What if I felt no fear?
What if I knew I would succeed?
What if every voice spoke truth, encouragement, and all doubt and pessimism and negativity was banished?
What if we believed in a God who is bigger wiser kinder more generous, more loyal, more exciting, more involved than we ever gave Him credit for being?
What if we are more than conquereors, really, a chosen generation, warriors, tribe of God, overcomers, victorious stewards, kings and queens, children of the Most High God?

Woudn’t that be something.

It’s Just Your Ovaries Talking Comments Off

Filed under self
Written by Annie on 8th Jan -10

nomorehousewifeargh

I Always Feel Like I Am Compromising

If I focus on writing, working, I feel the lack (dreadfully) in what I am as a mother.
If I focus on being Mommy, making a home, I feel something in my soul begin to scream. Too long at that, it grows silent and still. Too still. In-the-throes-of-death silent (though, now that I think of it, “throes” don’t seem that silent).

Joe comes home and asks, “How was your day?” and I laugh a crazy little laugh of desperation and answer: “Oh, great, you know, changing diapers, doing laundry, the usual. Yours?”
And I have nothing else to say.

Average or Exceptional

I listened to a podcast yesterday and in it this is what caught me, this small instruction: continue reading…

Taking Action Comments Off

Filed under good reads, work
Written by Annie on 15th Feb -08

Create a definite plan for carrying out your desire and begin at once, whether you are ready or not, to put this plan into action. Napoleon Hill

The quote above is the antidote to the plague of perfectionism that keeps so many of us in a place of continual dissatisfaction and failure to reach our goals. We are waiting until we are ready, until the moment is right, until everything is in place, until Situation A is resolved and Situation B is over and Situation C is no longer demanding our time.

Conditions are never just right. People who delay action until all factors are favourable do nothing. William Feather

Waiting, waiting, waiting. Waiting until we feel ready. Waiting for energy. Waiting for motivation. Waiting for certain conditions. We call it prudence, or thoughtfulness, or planning, or timing. The Bible calls it being a sluggard.

The sluggard will not plow by reason of the cold… Prov. 20:4

The sluggard always has a reason why now is not the right time. The sluggard never has enough energy to get himself moving. He doesn’t feel good. He is depressed. He has many ideas but no movement. He has grand intentions but never takes action. He cannot produce the force necessary to get him out of the rut he lives in and onto the road he envisions.

As the door turneth upon his hinges, so [doth] the slothful upon his bed. Prov. 26:14

We call it perfectionism; the Bible calls it being slothful and warns us of the consequences:

The soul of the sluggard desireth, and [hath] nothing… Prov. 13:4

We think of lazy people as those with no ambition, no dreams, no ideas, no plans. Not true. Lazy, or slothful, or sluggish, simply means, respectively, to be disinclined to action, to be inactive, or to be habitually inactive and slow. One who is sluggish has no power to move himself.

Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it’s always your choice.
Wayne Dyer

The pull of perfectionism is the pull to stay still. Motivation lies in taking action: one step leads to another. Progress creates more progress. You must learn to take action even when you don’t feel like it. You create the energy you need by acting as if you have it before you feel it.

Faith follows facts, and feelings follow faith. Too often we get that process all in reverse. We wait for the feelings; then we start to believe; then we assume that, since we feel it, and believe it, it must be true after all. But what if you stop “feeling it”? Suddenly your faith is shaky because the foundation – those ever-changing feelings – is shaky. Feelings change. Faith crumbles. You are back at the beginning. It must not be true after all. “I guess I wasn’t supposed to start that business.” “I guess I’m not really a writer.” “I guess it just wasn’t meant to be.”

Get your facts first. Are you, or aren’t you? Do you want it, or don’t you? Is it worth it, or isn’t it? Can you do it, or not? Is it a real desire? Have you made it a real goal, whatever it is? Whether it is a career change, a lifestyle change, a health issue, a new habit to form or an old habit to break, a relationship to evaluate, or a personal goal to achieve, you must take the time to find out what is true. Weigh the pros and cons. Discuss the matter with wise people you trust. Read about the subject. Pray about it. Determine what the goal is and how you best to get there; determine that you should and will get there.

Build your faith next. Be firmly convinced in your mind that the object you mean to pursue is worth pursuing, then just as firmly reject any suggestions to the contrary. Do not allow negativism, other’s opinions, and temporary obstacles to create doubt of what you know to be true. Begin taking action. “Faith without works is dead” is not trite religious phraseology. Take one step and then another. Persist.

The feelings will follow. You may not feel like a successful writer; feelings are irrelevant. If, after thought and deliberation, you determined that you should and will be a successful writer; if you begin taking action consistently toward that goal; if you do not allow discouragement and daily life to sway you, soon you will begin to experience the feelings that you expect.

Success seems to be connected to action. Successful people keep moving. They make mistakes, but they don’t quit. – Conrad Hilton

Keep moving forward. Do not allow the pull of sluggishness to keep you down. The warnings are there if you do – you will not see your desire accomplished. The promises are there if you refuse to give in:

…The soul of the diligent shall be made prosperous. Prov. 13:4

Motivational quotations from Goal Setting Guide.

Scripture quotations from Blue Letter Bible.

Image courtesy of thegoldguys.blogspot.com/ or www.lumaxart.com/.

Uses wordpress plugins developed by www.wpdevelop.com