SISTER WISDOM : build a better life

I keep waiting to feel motivated, energetic, high on possibility so I can get going. But it's going to be action that creates motivation, not the other way around. My actions today will create my life for all the tomorrows.
(I keep repeating motivational phrases like that to myself but that's not really working either.)

Zeke is sleeping rather well at night; he usually gets a last feeding at 9 or 10, when I go to bed, and then wakes up once around 1 and again around 4.  I'm hopeful we can work our way past needing that 1 a.m. feeding pretty quickly. It's kind of an unpleasant interruption in the middle of dreams, and it cuts the sleep really short, especially if I don't go to sleep right after I feed him at 9 or 10. Which I hardly ever do...

I'm so much more relaxed with him, far more than with Mara and even more than with Robbie as a newborn. I'm not sure what the difference is. Maybe letting go of some perfectionism. Maybe trusting myself as a mother more. It helps to look at Mara and Robbie and think, "Hmm, they're happy. They're healthy. They're relatively well-behaved. We must be doing okay."

Actually what I'm struggling most with is staying consistent with Mara and Robbie while caring for Zeke. Since they are relatively well-behaved most of the time, I tend to just let little things slide. But then those little things become habitual behaviors, and I know they're not good. How do you stay consistent and motivated when it's not a BIG deal?

Yesterday I could hardly get Robbie to come when I called him, and he was crying (his version of pitching a fit) every time I told him no on anything. We were with my sister-in-law and niece at her house, then out at MacDonald's - it wasn't really the time for a training session. But obviously I've been letting some things go over the last few days if he feels comfortable with ignoring my commands. How do I see that coming? How do I keep myself consistent with him?

Perhaps I will put a Post-It on his forehead today, saying something like, "Hey, Mom, PAY ATTENTION!"

Ideas? Help?

I tend toward what is easy. Discipline, pain, sacrifice? I shudder at the thought. Yesterday the sermon was on being spirit-led. Sounds nice, but it was uncomfortable: controlling your appetite, saying no to what you want, realizing that the urge toward what is easy, comfortable, and instantly gratifying is probably the opposite of what spirit-led means.

Everything worthwhile that I have done has required discipline, pain, and sacrifice. Think about pregnancy and birth. Even getting married, candy-coated as that time was, required change, which is always difficult, and leaving behind the old life to begin a new one. Read the rest of this entry »

Self-respect is the fruit of discipline; the sense of dignity grows with the ability to say no to oneself. Rabbi Abraham Heschel ( source) Update (Tuesday): 35 minutes cardio (walking).I find myself continually missing the stretch/tone part of this exercise challenge. Let me rephrase. I continually choose to neglect the stretch/tone part of this exercise challenge.

See how easy it is to make yourself a victim?

Discipline. We have misconceptions about discipline. We perceive it negatively, as connoting deprivation, pain, denial. Things we do not like and never desire. Like a root canal.

You probably don't like going to see the dentist. (Unless, perchance, you are married to a dentist.) So you brush your teeth, floss, use mouthwash, chew gum. This is discipline, the instructive side.

If you didn't instruct yourself (teeth need to be cleaned, flossing is good, plaque is bad), equip yourself (toothbrush, toothpaste, mouthwash), and apply yourself, you might end up with a cavity. Maybe even a root canal. Lots of wasted time, discomfort, pain, and a nice chunk of money. That's the corrective side of discipline.

To discipline means to train. To be a disciple is to be one who learns, one who is trained. The nature of teeth, of sugar, and of tooth decay trains me in the right way to care for my teeth so I don't lose them. I can foresee the possible consequences of neglect and prevent them; or I can blithely ignore them and endure the results.

Wisdom is looking ahead, getting instruction, equipping yourself to follow the instruction, and applying it to avoid negative consequences before they occur. Wisdom is brushing your teeth.

It's not all about avoiding bad stuff. To stretch our example to the limit: brushing my teeth gives me fresh, minty breath, and healthy gums, and strong, clean teeth, and the ability to masticate unhindered. Somehow, though, the avoidance of what is bad motivates us more than the existence of what is good. We take what we already have for granted. It often takes a consequence, a loss, pain, before we recognize value. We may be able to recover and regain what we've lost, and go on wiser. Sometimes we can't.

The universe conspires to discipline us toward life. Examples in nature, plants, animals show us simple principles to apply. Corrective consequences show us what not to do. Don't touch the hot stove; you'll get burned. Don't date the bad man; you'll get burned.

Successful lives and relationships, peaceful countries, prosperous years: they are instructors. As are personal failures, wars, poverty. The demonstrated consequences of ignoring principles of life should be enough. They are, if we choose to listen. If not, we will experience our own failure and war and poverty.

It's far better to take advantage of that instructive side of discipline. We can be proactive. We can stop many negative consequences from touching our lives. We can bring good things in by the choices we make in heeding and applying the instruction. We can be disciplined before we are disciplined.

Resources: Read some more quotations on discipline. Write a few down and post them on your bathroom mirror, your refrigerator, by your computer, in your car.

Read what the Bible has to say about discipline. A great practice is reading from the book of Proverbs daily. If a chapter is too much, try a verse. Or go here for a verse-by-verse explanation of the Proverbs or to search the proverbs topically.

Tip: When you read a quote or a proverb that specifically addresses something in your life that you know you need to change, take a few minutes and memorize the line. Review it daily. It doesn't take long. You could always do that while you're brushing your teeth...