SISTER WISDOM : build a better life

Today's guest post is by Sarah Jessica of From Tolstoy to Tinkerbell. If you're interested in writing a guest post, see the guidelines here.

As modern homemakers, we love lists—any type of list. If we didn't, why would we make them daily? We have our to-do lists, our grocery lists, our school supply lists, our chore lists, our book club reading lists. Written in brief bullet points, rattling off the essential needs for the household to run smoothly; lists give us power. They show us that we are reasonable, rational beings who can minimize text for maximum efficiency and benefit.

We also cling to other important lists such as People's 50 Most Beautiful People, Forbes' list of the most influential people, and perhaps the most intimidating (or at least for me) The New York Times bestseller list. Perhaps, we glance over this book list, go the local bookstore and peruse over the recommended titles. (Maybe the New York Times bestseller list is not one that you follow. Insert whatever book list whether it is romance novels, Christian devotionals, classic literature—whatever books' lists, the specific list is not important.)

Books from self-help to postmodern novels to presidential memoirs stare down at us with their glossy dust jackets and $25.00 price tags. We may leave feeling disillusioned, disengaged, or worse: buy an expensive dust-collector for the ever growing collection of expensive dust-collectors. We return to the mundane, wishing to engage our minds, but despairing in our lack of fortitude since we did not follow the book list. All of these books come highly recommended by “the book list,” our fellow book club friends, everyone except us.

Reread that last sentence (I helped you out with the wonders of copy/paste)-- “All of these books come highly recommended by “the book list,” our fellow book club friends, everyone except us.” We disengage our minds because we are too busy comparing our desires, interests, and emotional responses to others. By comparing ourselves to others', we set ourselves up to be disappointed.

engage your mind: quit comparing

The first step to engaging our minds is to give up comparing our likes/dislikes to our friends, co-workers, neighbors, and mostly importantly, the recommended book list. We must openly admit that there are books, blogs, magazines that we DON'T LIKE! I have a list of authors that I have tried, really, really hard to enjoy—Ralph Waldo Emerson, William Faulkner, D.H. Lawrence, Harriet Beecher Stowe—to name a few. This does not in any way negate those who do enjoy these writers from appreciating these texts. I would prefer to have my tongue nailed to the kitchen counter everyday before breakfast than read these authors' works. I have learned to admit what I don't like so that I can spend more of the precious time I have reading what I DO LIKE!

engage your mind: be enchanted

The second step to engaging our minds is to be enchanted with our reading. I believe Emily Dickinson in her poem best describes how we women should approach our minds/reading:

I think I was enchanted
When first a sombre Girl --
I read that Foreign Lady --
The Dark -- felt beautiful –( Poem 593).

Enchantment. When was the last you time that you picked up a book, enthralled by its contents, smell, the feel of its pages, utterly absorbed in the emotional ecstasy of the written word? After we discover what we like to read, we must move to what we LOVE to read.
Books that we love should move us toward a higher plane, ignite within us a new curiosity, encourage us to think deeply. Books I love are the ones I read over and over just because I continually find new facets of the plot, characters, or the language itself. The books that have enchanted me always give me a reason to return to their well-worn, ink-marked pages.

engage your mind: join a community

The final step to engaging our minds is to find/create a community. Once we are enchanted with a book, poem, short story, blog, we need the support of others to keep our minds focused. There is no right or wrong way to find or create this community. Whether you choose to write a blog professing your love of zombie haiku, or gather other people who share your passion for cookbooks and create a five star worthy French bistro dinner—we need community. Community opens up dialogues, and dialogues reaffirm our enchantment with the written word.

Today, I am enchanted by Emily Dickinson's poetry (if you couldn't tell). My love for her poems has been rekindled. I'm enthralled, enchanted. I invite you to join me.

“There is No Frigate Like a Book”
Emily Dickinson

There is no frigate like a book
To take us lands away,
Nor any coursers like a page
Of prancing poetry.
This traverse may the poorest take
Without oppress of toll;
How frugal is the chariot
That bears a human soul!(Poem 99)

What book has enchanted you?

Today's 2 Cents Courtesy of:

Sarah Jessica grew up reading, thinking, musing which led her to pursue a Bachelor's and Master's degree in English. This Virginian settled in the Carolinas where she lives with her husband Mark, two beautiful step-children AJ and Ashley, and three rambunctious English Springer Spaniels: Ginger Snap, Cupcake, and Ophelia (Ophelia was thus named when no one in Sarah's family was hungry). She is currently writing blog posts for From Tolstoy to Tinkerbell, and you can follow her on Twitter.

Hello, week in review.

We found the first open daffodils. We smelled them. We tried not to touch them.

Later we found lots more, so we picked a few and put them in a vase for Mommy. I love being Mommy.

Read the rest of this entry »

Beautiful Things Happen When a Woman Trusts God

by Sheila Walsh

Thomas Nelson Publishers; 3 out of 5 stars

I like this book, I do, so I feel kind of guilty being harsh in my review. But repetition bores me, and the writing in this book is very formulaic. Each chapter follows the same format: personal story or anecdote, parallel drawn to Biblical character, more insight into Biblical character interspersed with additional personal anecdotes, conclusion, and then the "transitional sentence" to lead into the next chapter. Read the rest of this entry »

From the feed reader...

• Abby at New Urban Habitat, Frugal isn't cheap: "But frugality can be more fun than the mindless consuming many of us got in the habit of doing in the previous decade, because we end up spending money on what we really want."
• Rachel at Small Notebook, My Real-Life, Practical Daily Routine: "Instead of having a schedule that would be ignored day after day in real life, I follow a daily routine of touchstones — key elements to mark a successful day.
• Philip Brewer at Wise Bread, What I've Been Trying to Say: "You can't go back and change decisions that have already been made, but that doesn't mean that the design for the rest of your life is immutable.  Start today to design the life that you want to be living."

From the bookshelf...

• Eleanor Roosevelt, You Learn By Living

Read my full review here.

Mini Review: Practical advice for personal growth and a successful life, from the era before self-improvement was the big market share it is now. Roosevelt is easy to read and understand but profound. Her advice is practical, with personal examples, and I found myself copying lots of quotes and wanting to paste them all over the walls in my bedroom.
Find it on Amazon.

• Mindy Stearns Clark, The House That Cleans Itself

Mini Review: If you're not a natural housekeeping/organizing goddess, you will love this book. The concept is that instead of fighting our naturally slobbish tendencies (or those of family members), we should identify them and create systems that work for us instead of against us. Brilliant! I love this! I always feel like housekeeping is a battle, and I've already used some of her ideas and seen some of the most irritating problems get much, much better. I'm going to be tackling more of my house this year and Clark's book is my guide.
Find it on Amazon.

What's your recommended reading this week?
Join in by linking up your post, or simply share in the comments below.

Edit: This was supposed to be posted last night, but I had some intense disagreements with my computer. My husband had to mediate, and we finally came to a happy, working agreement this morning... So:

Heads Up! Recommended Reading coming today!

Here's the deal: I love reading. I love reading great blogs and articles online, and I adore (as in, extreme twitterpation and heart palpitation) a great book.
On the other hand, I despise wasting my time on sub-par writing of any kind. I find, however, it's sometimes hard to put your finger on that great article or post or book or magazine you're wanting, when you're ready for your next great read.

Thus Recommended Reading is born.

Every Friday I'll be posting a list of what I've read lately that (I think) is worth reading: books, blogs, and otherwise which I can whole-heartedly recommend to you.

I'm hoping some of you smart women will join with me and either put up a post or leave a comment with your own recommended reading, because, see, this is all kind of self-serving. I get kind of, uh, tense (hyperventilating, spasms, hives, stuff like that), when I don't know what I'm going to read next. So if I can get some great recommendations, I can keep myself from those ugly little episodes.
I will thank you.
My whole family will thank you.

Tune in tomorrow later today for the first issue of Recommended Reading! I'll include a Mr Linky so you can link up if you've written a post. And here's a bloggie icon you can use to link back if you'd like.

Happy Reading! See you tomorrow.

I think that having learned our letters we should read the best that is in literature, and not be forever repeating our a b abs, and words of one syllable, in the fourth or fifth classes, sitting on the lowest and foremost form all our lives. {Henry David Thoreau}

There is a great deal of difference between an eager man who wants to read a book and a tired man who wants a book to read.  {G.K. Chesterton}

The stories of childhood leave an indelible impression, and their author always has Read the rest of this entry »

I've been reading a book from our church library: How to Keep Your Joy by Paul Walker. Why? Because I like being happy.

Most of this is simply verbatim from the book, the parts that I want to remember, hold on to, let seep into my life...

Joy is affected by our vocabulary.

Our words (in order to promote joy) should

• REFINE "no corrupt word"
• RESPECT "lift up, raise up, bring into symmetry and balance; accept others as important in the image of God. Disrespectful, irreverent speech breeds guilt, fear, suspicion, and distrust."
• RELATE
• REINFORCE "grace is positive reinforcement"
• REFLECT "the image of Christ in what you say"

*Interesting to me that Walker is talking about how our words, which we speak TO others, have an effect not only on the ones who hear but on ourselves, the ones who speak. When we speak disrespectful, coarse words we make joy improbable (if not impossible) for others and for ourselves.

"You have been taught by Him, as the truth is in Jesus: that you putoff, concerning your former conduct, the old man which grows corrupt according to the deceitful lusts, and be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and that you put on the new man which was created according to God, in true righteousness and holiness." Ephesians4:21-22

Joy is affected by how we plan our priorities.

1. Don't get caught up in the stress of the times. Set priorities so that the positives - energized by the Spirit of Christ - counteract and control the negatives. Never surrender to the negative signs of the times.
2. Seek what is TIMELESS: the kingdom of God and His righteousness. Seek means "to pursue actively"; we should be seeking to develop the highest that is in us, to live our lives in constant development of the spiritual nature that reflects the righteousness of God.
3. Sort out the temporary influences that could hinder your joy, by placing persistent trust in an unfailing God. Take a timeless approach to temporary situations.
4. Sanctify the tomorrows. "Therefore DO NOT WORRY ABOUT TOMORROW..." Worry = low-grade fear; opposing forces; negative thought patterns; torment, confusion, helplessness; indecision; physical stress. Set apart the tomorrows as holy, belonging to God. All we have is the now, and this now is to be lived out according to the highest priorities given to us by God in the fulfillment of the self.

Joy is affected by how we discipline our desires.

"...when our desires are unrestrained and out of focus, we lose our joy."

We maintain joy by changing those behaviors that bring us sorrow, sadness, and difficulty. We make an intellectual-emotional-spiritual decision to function in a way that brings the highest productivity in our lives.

Joy is the result of self-control. Self-control comes from choice. Decide. Determine. Develop.

The key to determination is a sense of inner directedness that does not yield to the pressures of the age - that identifies with the highest rather than the lowest, the best rather than the worst, the ideal rather than the average, the excellent rather than the mediocre.

The determined life reaches for the deepest resources in Christ. Determination stands up and says, I'm taking charge of my life, my schedule, my attitudes, my responses, my behavior...I refuse to be immobilized by the lower nature and the works of the flesh.

PREACH IT, Paul Walker!

Joy is maintained (or destroyed) by the way we speak.

Joy is maintained by the way we plan our priorities.

Joy is maintained by the way we discipline our desires.

I recently took on the Book Blow-Out challenge from Blue Archipelago. (Which is a great book review site, along with my other favorite, Book Reviews for Real People.)
I "joined" the challenge on July 8th, and just today (the 14th) I posted my reading list.
I've been working my way quickly through the first book, however: Emma Brown by Clare Boylan (and Charlotte Bronte). I'm about 2/3 of the way through; I took a nice break on Saturday morning while Marzipan and Wick were napping and Joe was at work. Me, comfy chair, cup of coffee with French Vanilla Creamer... and a good book.
I'll post a review once I've finished it.
I love being a writer. It's such a great excuse to read all the time.

Everyone should read. Reading makes you a bigger, better person. I love reading, but I must confess that I am very particular about what I read. I have strict standards: Read the rest of this entry »