I Can Do Anything for a Month... Maybe.

I am a little obsessed with personal growth, life improvement, all things moving me toward being a better person and living a better life. I've only got maybe 80 years here on earth, and I would like to make the most of it. The trouble is that it's just difficult becoming a better person. I've got lots of habits that are hard to kick. Nothing really terrible or criminal or any worse than the next guy, but lots of things that keep me at a mediocre level in many areas of my life.

I have discovered that I can get momentum up for a while but then I just wimp out.

I need to build up more self-discipline. It is a long, slow process, but I am determined to keep trying and keep pushing because I am simply not satisfied with mediocrity. So. I read about this idea of a monthly challenge, and I think it is worth trying.

The concept is simple: try something for a month.

There are two basic kinds of monthly challenges, same concept but slightly different vision. The first promotes a habit. The 30-Day Challenge at Steve Pavlina's site is a good example. This type of monthly challenge gets you to put forward enough energy for the 30 days you've committed to. You trick yourself - "it's only for 30 days" - but after those 30 days it has become a habit and you can continue it, if so desired, with much less effort.

The second kind of monthly challenge promotes a project

. NaNoWriMo is, perhaps, the best-known of these challenges. The point is to put forward as much energy as possible to complete a (large) project in 30 days. The goal is completion, not perfection. You can let other things slide a bit in order to complete the project; you can always go back and work on the details later. The month of intense effort gets you through the project without a chance to lose momentum.

The monthly challenge possibilities are endless.

Whatever habit you need to establish or break is fair game. (It is easier to make a new habit than break an old one, though, so I suggest teaching yourself a new habit that will usurp the old one rather than focusing on not doing something anymore.) Monthly challenges work well because they give us a light at the end of the self-disciplined tunnel. You can endure almost anything for a certain amount of time. Telling yourself "it's only for 30 days, and then I can quit," helps you to keep moving forward on the intimidating project you need to face or the new, perhaps difficult, habit you need to establish. The beauty of the monthly challenge is what you have actually accomplished at the end of it. You have reached the 30-day goal; you are free to quit; but you find that you've completed the project, or established the habit, and now that beastie isn't staring at you from the dark corners of your closet while you try to sleep. It's been tamed.

My Monthly Challenge Muscle-Flexing Plan

So this is my plan for building self-discipline in my life: take on a different challenge every month

for the rest of this brand-new year of 2008. I did miss January, yes, but I still have 11 months left. 11 Challenges. 11 Chances to Exercise Self-Discipline until I am the Self-Disciplined Life-Improving Personally Growing Muscled Equivalent of Arnold Schwarzenegger. (And maybe I'll go into politics then, since Arnold did...)

I know what my first challenge for February will be: To Stick to a Morning Routine. This is not very exciting and not nearly as interesting as a lot of other Monthly Challenge Possibilities (see a list below), but I think it is key to making a whole lot of other (good) things happen consistently in my life. I am so tired of that run around, always behind, totally dragging and wondering what I've accomplished at the end of the day feeling. You know the one I mean? Perhaps you want to take on a Monthly Challenge with me. (Anyone? Hello?) I'd love to have some company, and I think we all have areas that could use some improvement.

The Rules of the Game

I had better put a few guidelines in place for myself. I am trusting that the public accountability of a Hub will be motivational for me. I will be reporting in regularly on my progress, or lack thereof. Perhaps I should offer some kind of prize to a random commenter if I fail: further motivation.

Monthly Challenges (in general):

Begin on the 1st of the month and conclude on the last day of the same month.

Must be accomplished every single day of the month unless the specific month's challenge is stated otherwise at the outset.

Previous Challenges

The Get Up Early Challenge: From Feb. 1st to Feb 28th, I challenged myself get up at the same time every morning (5 am) and establish a morning routine. Overall, a successful challenge. I got up at 5 today and wasn't even sleepy!

The Life Without a To Do List Challenge: From March 1st to March 26th, I challenged myself to live without making a to do list everyday. Any day. Successful in that I didn't make a daily to-do list, unsuccessful in that it wasn't a change I wanted to incorporate permanently, so I called it over on March 26th. It was an interesting experience and has definitely helped me be less obsessive about lists and more balanced about how much I put on them. I am relieved to be able to have one now!

And Next.... April begins tomorrow. I haven't decided on a Monthly Challenge for this beautiful, wet, Spring month yet. Let's review the possibilities: Read the rest of this entry »

Even if my qualifications seem best, I may not be right for the job. I may, in fact, be very, very wrong. It’s my job to determine what belongs to me and what doesn’t.

Figuring Out What Belongs to You

How do I know what belongs to me and what does not? How do I get rid of the things that are not truly my responsibility? Let's start with a simple process of taking inventory. What am I currently taking responsibility for? Look at all the roles you play, then look at all the activities and tasks within each role. For example, I am (in no particular order) a wife, a mother, a sister and daughter, a friend, a Christian, a church member, a writer, a homemaker, a musician, a website manager, a woman, a cook, a gardener, and an entrepreneur. I could probably come up with more if I kept at it a little longer.

Within my role of church member, I have taken on the responsibilities of going to church every Sunday, playing on the worship team each week as well as compiling our worship set, emailing it to the worship team, attending practice each week, participating in ladies' bible studies, fellowship dinners, and occasional "extra" worship times. Yet I still feel guilty when I walk by the table in the foyer and see the Church Cleaning Sign-up Sheet, because my name is nowhere on it. The only way I can keep myself from compulsively taking on the bathroom cleaning for the entire month is by remembering what my responsibilities as a church member already are. Once I mentally review them, I realize that I can take on no more unless I let something go. It isn't that I can't clean bathrooms or am unwilling to; it's that I have already dedicated my time and effort to other activities in the church, and I don't have any additional time to give. That's my line and I dare not cross it.

Get Your Paper and Pen and Get Ready...

Be thorough as you list your roles and your activities within them. Picture yourself walking through your day and jot down everything you take responsibility for. Perhaps you feel guilty about missing dinner with your sister but she didn't tell you the plans until the day of. Why do you feel guilty? Because you feel responsible. Why do you feel responsible? Read the rest of this entry »

"Worry comes from trying to control anything which I am not equipped nor prepared nor responsible to control: in other words, anything outside of my sphere of responsibility, my “circle of authority.” How often do I step outside this circle and try to drag something back in with me, something that does not fit, something that belongs in someone else's care?"

The Worry Addiction

We start the moment we wake up in the morning and keep at it until exhaustion finally shuts off our active brain. We continue even in sleep, in our subconscious and our dreams bringing out our worries and tossing them around, sorting them, counting and naming and nurturing them. We must have something to gnaw on, something to worry with, to examine and analyze, to prove or disprove, to criticize or fear or envy. We are compulsive worriers.

Why do we nurture this worry habit? Have you noticed that no matter how quickly one problem is solved we find another one immediately to take its place? We don't recognize the cycle as a cycle, an addictive cycle, and we honestly believe that “once this mess is taken care of,” everything will be back to normal again. But normal, for most of us, involves perpetual worry because we gain from it a feeling of control. But wouldn't it be nice to do something besides worry? Read the rest of this entry »

SCHEDULING, SCHMEDULING (YAWN). WHAT'S THE POINT?
Some of us resist schedules because they seem restrictive, anti-creativity, control-freakish. Certainly some schedules are that way. If you're scheduling your time down to ten-minute sections, I think we might need to work on your control freak tendencies. On the other hand, if you schedule nothing and live to follow the natural flow, you not only stifle productivity but you will also end up stifling creativity as well. You live by a schedule whether you admit it or not; a schedule is simply a matter of doing a certain thing at a certain time. When you take initiative to set your own schedule, you can do so according to your own priorities. When you don't set your own schedule, you are not only at the mercy of your own whims (which very often do not line up with your bigger goals and priorities) but you are also at the mercy of others who will not hesitate to impose their schedules on yours... or your lack thereof. So it really comes down to whose schedule you want to follow: yours, thoughtfully laid out, or some haphazard construct of circumstances. Seems like a no-brainer to me, but take the time to think it over if you must.

BASIC SCHEDULING
I like to keep my schedule pretty basic. It includes 1) A Beginning and an End and 2) Time Blocks. There are multiple planning calendars in as many formats as you can dream up. I find them all too complicated for my simple living preferences. This is not true for everyone; my husband loves his Franklin Covey planner and uses it faithfully. I feel restricted by all those boxes with lines and titles. The perfectionist in me just can't leave well enough alone, so I spend more time scheduling in all the pretty boxes than I do actually implementing my schedule. Since the point of a schedule is to simplify and to increase productivity, and I find that the more complex planners accomplish neither goal for me, I stick with my basics and forgo the professional leather-binder look. You might find that a combination of methods works best for you. My advice is this: start simple and be diligent with your simple scheduling techniques. Once you know they work for you, you can tweak and add on and adjust to your heart's delight. Don't start way at the top of the complex calendar hierarchy. The very complexity is too overwhelming to keep up when you're first learning how to schedule, and you'll get discouraged and drop it all.

A BEGINNING AND AN END
This topic makes me think of Julie Andrews in The Sound of Music, when she first attempts to teach the Captain's children how to sing: "Let's start at the very beginning, a very good place to start..." Of course, she drops her little Happy Beginnings song in favor of the inexplicably popular Do-Re-Mi. We, however, shall carry our Happy Beginnings all the way to Happy Endings.

What needs a beginning and an end is your working day. Your entire day is capped on both ends automatically by your bed. You wake up and get out of bed, your day begins. You get sleepy and get back in bed, your day ends. I see no reason to mess with that kind of perfection, unless you need some help on the waking up and getting out of bed part. We'll get to that in another article. For now, we're dealing with the workday itself, the part of the day that begins after you've been awakened by the sound of bluebirds (or the alarm clock) and, I hope, have eaten a halfway decent breakfast. Oh, also, you should get dressed. Maybe even before breakfast.
Your workday beginning may be set in stone already. You have to be at the office at 9:00 am. There you go. 9:00 am it is. For those of us who work in more flexible fields, in which the office hours dictate next to nothing, setting a Beginning is a matter of choice and convenience. If you're a stay-at-home Mom trying to wake, dress, and feed three kids, then give yourself enough time to do that before you try to get down to the rest of your work. If you're a work-from-home small business owner who likes to start the day with a two-hour gym session, then set your workday beginning accordingly.

The End of the workday is just as important as the beginning. Again, this may be dictated by office hours, or it may be a matter of choice and fitting in with what happens in the rest of your day. Perhaps it's 3:00 pm when the kids get home from school. Perhaps it's 6:00 pm when your spouse gets home from work. Perhaps it's 9:00 pm when you realize you haven't eaten anything since noon. (I don't recommend that last time option, by the way.) Choose an End. Put a cap on your working hours. Sure, you can always choose to do "extra" work or finish up projects in the evening if you want to, but that should be something you do because you really want to, not because you have to, and it should never interfere with your family time or social obligations.

My workday beginning is 8:00 am and my workday end is 5:00 pm. Of course there is more that happens before and after those times, but it is within those times that I block out time for work and have specific goals to accomplish.

BLOCKING OUT YOUR TIME
I learned this one from my husband, who implements the concept with his Franklin Covey planner in a way I can only admire. The idea itself is Read the rest of this entry »

"You said you would call."

"You're late."

"You forgot again."

"I just want a nice quiet dinner out with you. Is that too much to ask?"

"You paid how much?"

If only you would listen more, visit sooner, take out the trash, remember my birthday, make more money, quit working on the weekends, get home on time, buy me something nice, play with the kids, talk to me, pick up your clothes, call more often...

The list never ends. Come on. You know you have one: that list, that mental checklist of what makes a great husband, kid, friend, mother... fill in the blank. You have one for yourself and you feel guilty when you don't live up to it. You have one for all the people around you, too, some more complicated and specific than others. Ladies, the list you have for your husband is probably a document vying with White House legal memorandums in length, specificity, and total lack of intelligibility - to your husband. To you, it's perfectly understandable, isn't it? "It's not that complicated... all he has to do is just be here for me a little more, talk to me, be romantic, maybe bring me flowers every once in a while... that's not so much. It wouldn't hurt if he would start working out again, too, and spend more time with the kids. And he could get that raise if he really pushed for it, and then we could have a nice vacation..."

When is the list ever completely fulfilled? Maybe you don't know its length and complexity as well as you think you do. The list, you see, changes, grows, morphs with each action or non-action. There is no end. It is, like the grave and the fire, never satisfied. It is you, and it is based on your expectations of who and what someone should be.

Everyone has expectations. True. We've all grown so accustomed to them we overlook their affect. They are deadly little beasts, sucking the life and joy out of every relationship into which they creep. They remove our ability to be surprised, delighted, and content. Contentment receives what comes - what happens - what other do or say - with an attitude of humility and disregard for self. Contentment does not mean "not wanting." It is not the absence of any desire. Contentment means, no matter what the desire, there is an attitude of acceptance. I will take what is given even if it is not what I desired.

Expectations are based on pride. I know what should happen. My way is the best. My plan is better. You should do what I want. When people fail to meet our expectations, we get angry because they have not recognized and submitted to our superior plans for them. Obviously if they really understood the situation... if they really got it... they would see things our way. Right?

The Universal Questions

Who am I? What is my purpose? Why don't I feel satisfied? Is there more to life? Finding your place in the universe is a large task, but it is what we're all after in one way or another. We're either on the hunt, or wish we could be, or have been and have given up, or think maybe we have found something special, finally, but we're unsure and afraid. Some of us, very few of us, walk confidently through each day with the assurance that they are being who they are meant to be, doing the best that they can do, and using the moments as wisely as possible.

How Do You Fit in Now?

You feel misunderstood, unappreciated, insecure, sometimes alienated from the people you are closest to. You are constantly seeking but never achieving the standard you have set for yourself, overwhelmed by the tragedy in the world, and disappointed by your own failures and the failure of others.

You feel restless, bored with life, never taken seriously. You see your good ideas go to waste and are frustrated by the unwillingness of others to take a chance and have some fun. You are handicapped by your own disorganization, full of great visions but too overwhelmed by the process to ever get to the end result.

You feel impatient, demanding, and hate the unproductivity in life that you can't fix. You end up alone because you don't know how to connect with others. You are aggravated by the weakness and stupidity all around you, and though you see clearly how to correct wrongs you are frustrated because you simply cannot fix them all.

You feel apathetic, worried, indifferent to what others enthuse over, and fearful because you're so indifferent. You are unsure why other people can't just relax and get along, but you are full of unexpressed frustrations and secretly wish you could be bolder and more confrontational. You hesitate, go blank in key moments, and then regret the missed opportunities.

The Common Thread of Dissatisfaction

Which paragraph describes you? Maybe one in particular, or all of them, or a combination jumped out and you nodded to yourself as you read. The common thread of all the descriptions is this: dissatisfaction with yourself and your own part of the universe. You don't want to feel misunderstood, or bored, or unproductive, or fearful. You never intended to alienate yourself, or miss so many opportunities, or leave so many things undone, or let so many good ideas just die. But every day you see those negative moments repeated in your life and you haven't found a way to change that.

"The first step is admitting you have a problem," as we learn from Alcoholics Anonymous. Admitting dissatisfaction is the first step toward eliminating it. In yourself, the inner workings of who you are, and in your life, all those outward activities that compose your days, dissatisfaction is not really a negative thing at all; rather, it implies two very important concepts.

You and Your Life Are Worth Improving

Dissatisfaction with yourself and your life implies, first, that you and your life have a value beyond what is being given to them today from your current attitudes and habits. For example, you are dissatisfied with your relationship with your spouse. You feel like your spouse Read the rest of this entry »

Assumptions are those controlling, basic habits of the mind. They are what we think without thinking. They are the default. An assumption is a "statement that is assumed to be true and from which a conclusion can be drawn," or "a hypothesis that is taken for granted" (WordNet).

We all operate from assumptions to some degree. We assume the world will keep spinning, the sun will rise, and our boss will expect us to show up at work as usual. So we set the alarm, get up, get dressed, and go to work. What's the problem with assumptions like that? Nothing, really. Those type of assumptions are what I call experiential assumptions. They are based on our former experiences and validated every time the experience is repeated, which is usually often.

Many experiential assumptions are accurate to a large degree, perhaps even for all of our lives. What happens, however, is that as we operate on a daily basis from experiential assumptions, we think less often and less consciously and simply operate on automatic. We get lazy.

We have assumptions about each other: spouse, children, parents, siblings, co-workers, friends, strangers. We have assumptions about spirituality, intellect, physical history, relationships, and morality. We carry these assumptions with us and apply them to the appropriate subjects without stopping to think about what the assumptions are, where they came from, what they are based on, and whether they are accurate. We assume they are true without stopping to question their history, logic, source, or motivation.

Racism comes from unquestioned assumptions. Discrimination of all kinds comes from unquestioned assumptions. Persecution - both of the religious and by the religious - comes from unquestioned assumptions. These unquestioned, unfounded assumptions are usually based on little more than the attitudes and concepts we picked up as children from our families, our peers, and our culture. They might have been someone else's experiential assumption in a different time and place, but they may no longer be valid. Or they may be based on a one-time, never-repeated experience so powerful that a person based a life's assumption upon it, and then passed it on to you. You assumed it was accurate. You assumed you could trust the source.

Assumptions are subtle and dangerous due to that subtlety. Even when they are mostly accurate, if they are never questioned, never grounded on something more than tradition, we accept the danger of operating our daily lives on the basis of something that may be relative to time, place, and preference.

Examining our assumptions is a basic first step toward living a life that is thoughtful and fulfilling. Here's an exercise that can help you get started.

• 1. Write down ten foundational beliefs you have. They may not be the "top ten" but you will probably think of the most important things first. If you have trouble getting started, ask yourself what you believe about these topics:  God/spirituality, family, relationships, work, your past, your personality, and money.
• 2. Now comes the questioning. For each belief you wrote down, ask these questions: What is this belief based on? What is the source of this belief? What is the reasoning behind this belief? Has my personal experience repeatedly validated this belief? When did I choose to believe this?
• 3. Based on your answers, you can determine if what you've written as a belief is that - something you have consciously chosen to put faith in based on reason and/or experience -  or if it is merely an assumption, something handed down to you that you simply accepted.
• 4. Now what? The "beliefs" that turned out to be assumptions are not necessarily inaccurate; they just give you a starting point. Start digging. Start thinking. Do some research. Start looking for something true and real about these assumptions of yours. Are they worthwhile? Do they merit a place as a foundational belief that will influence the course of your life?

1. Always be on the phone when you see him at the end of the day.

   Preferably, be talking to your girlfriend, your sister, or your mom about a topic that either (a) irritates him or (b) means absolutely less than nothing to him. Give him a slight wave but don't interrupt your conversation to give him a kiss, a smile, or a word. Continue talking with all the intensity you can muster. Be extremely interested in your conversation. Show no signs of slowing down just because he's around. And make sure you talk loudly, pace, or otherwise make yourself impossible to ignore. If you're at home, be sure the kitchen is dark and cold and very much untouched by you.

2. Talk to him like you would to your five-year-old nephew.

   An extremely effective method of irritation. Make sure you use the same small words, repeat yourself, ask if he understands at the end of every sentence, and throw in a somewhat drippy, condescending tone to top it all off. Use an appropriate pet name: cutie, silly boy, munchkin, and little man are all excellent choices.

3. Never tell him what's of concern to you, and never ask for his help.

   Be sure your stress is evident: creased brow, frown lines, nervous movements, loud sighs, and lots of muttering to yourself. If he takes the bait and asks you what's wrong, look at him like you forgot he was there, give a little laugh and say, “Oh, nothing honey, really...” Then ask him a very unimportant question using Method #2. Be sure you continue to look adequately stressed about your issue as he answers your question. Bonus points: Have a muttered, somewhat secretive phone conversation with girlfriend/sis/mom about said issue later that night. Be sure he sees you and catches your stressed tone of voice.

4. Keep a mental list of his faults; add to it continually.

   Of course you know he's not perfect, and the best way to show him that you know is to keep thinking about all the ways he isn't. You actually don't have to say any of these out loud to communicate your displeasure (although there will be chances for that, too). Just keeping that mental list will be sufficient, and be sure you add every new fault you notice as soon as you notice it, even if it's only happened once. Also, come up with creative little titles for the faults on your mental list. Include dramatic words with a sense of finality and hopelessness. For example, “picks his nose in the car” should be called “Is SO disgusting because he's ALWAYS shoving his finger up his nose in the MIDDLE of traffic.” Much more effective.

5. Mock him publicly, especially in front of your family and/or his friends.

   You will, of course, never be at a loss for what to mock him about since you've got that handy mental list ready at all times. And since you're continually thinking about it and adding to it, you'll be able to create a connection with whatever conversation you're in, no matter how vague to everyone else. Example: You run into a couple of friends at the grocery store who relate the horrible car wreck they witnessed yesterday. You listen and nod and then say, “Well, at least Jimbo here wasn't with you. He would've just stuck his finger up his nose as usual, right in front of all the cops...” Ignore Jimbo's look of chagrin. Ignore the fact that you've only actually seen him pick his nose twice in your entire relationship.

6. Moderate your interest level carefully.

   This is a key concept if you really want to alienate your husband. You need to practice because if you go too overboard with either demonstration it will just be weird. So get those “I'm really interested” signals down very well. Use them anytime you get a phone call, anytime you're talking about your past, anytime someone else in a group that includes your husband is talking, and especially when you're talking about your preferences, your day, or your emotions. Now, for the “I'm not at all interested and I'm just managing to tolerate the hideous boredom of this conversation” signals, pick key times. These include anytime your husband is talking about his family, his work, or his past; anytime he shares an idea (any kind of idea); anytime you're at some event that is more in keeping with his interests than yours; and especially anytime he hints around for intimacy. Really, the only time you should show interest when your husband talks is when he talks about you.

7. Cultivate irritating habits.

   The infamous silent treatment is probably the mother of all irritating habits. Be sure you use that one often. Nagging, of course, is another especially effective irritation. Use a whiny voice even when you're in a good mood. Sigh often without explanation. Blame everything on your hormones, your past, or your husband's typically male inability to be sensitive enough. Make fun of anything overtly masculine about him. Make fun of anything he likes that you don't. Forget the names of important people from his past. Act a little fuzzy about what he actually does at work when anyone asks. Get a baby-innocent blank look to employ when he asks you about his favorite sweater, season tickets, or “planned” trip to his family reunion. Come up with a girly, demeaning name for his favorite band, sport, place, food, etc., and use it often.

8. Be obviously manipulative.

   Face it, you're probably manipulative anyway, and it's probably obvious to your husband even if he doesn't point it out. Well, go ahead and play it up for all it's worth. Use that baby voice. Use sex as a prize if he does what you want (or lack thereof as punishment if he doesn't). Use all your best irritating habits to get what you want. Nag him about a vacation until he agrees. Start giving him the silent treatment if he doesn't seem interested in taking you to that new romantic comedy (making it even more romantic when he finally does agree to take you). Threaten to call his mother, your mother, his boss, or his best friend whenever needed. Use impossibly unreasonable jabs like “Do you really want me to be unhappy?” and “You really hate our kids, don't you?” and “I just never expected you to be so insensitive all the time.”

9. Never tell him what you want in a way that makes sense.

   Rely on your irritating habits and manipulation skills to get what you want. Never, ever just ask him for something in a normal voice. If he asks you a direct question about your preference, just say something like, “Oh, you know.....” or “Oh... I don't really care....”. Of course, if he makes the mistake of taking you seriously and simply making a decision without questioning you further and deciphering your hints until he finally figures out what you do want, employ one of those irritating habits like the silent treatment.

10. Maintain your impossible expectations.

    All those items on your mental list of your husband's faults are probably negative exaggerations of your own expectations of what he should be. By all means, hang on to these expectations, no matter how silly, because they are invaluable in keeping your husband alienated. Whatever you do, never consider the possibility that your expectations are the problem, not your husband's hideous faults. Meditate on your expectations religiously. See them as the key to your happiness. Refer to them as the only separation between the two of you and marital bliss. Take no responsibility for your attitudes or emotions when they go haywire due to an expectation being, once again, grossly unfulfilled. Consider yourself a selfless martyr every time your husband fails to either automatically understand an expectation or flawlessly meet it.

Employ these ten simple habits and you are well on your way to continual conflict, total dissolution of mutual interests, and marital hell. They're effective enough to be used singly whenever harmony seems to be rearing its ugly head, but are especially helpful when collectively applied over time. Ruin your marriage – don't let a day go by without alienating your husband!

Proverbs 25:28 He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls.

A city without walls = A man without self-discipline
A city without walls is insecure, defenseless, and unproductive. It is either disrupted and war-torn or deserted and desolate. One who has no rule over his own spirit, that is, no self-discipline, lives a life with the same problems. Without self-discipline, you may be comfortable but you are not secure. Without self-discipline, you may be defensive but you are without any true defense. Without self-discipline, you may fill your life with complicated processes but you will be far from productivity. A life without self-discipline is constantly disrupted by the crisis of the moment, the pull of the emotions, or the desires of the body. A life without self-discipline is desolate of success, purpose, and greatness.

Self-Discipline Is Power
To discipline yourself is consciously to take charge of your life, to make the best decisions possible and then, without regard for physical, mental, or emotional protest, to put the decisions into consistent action.
Self-discipline is the man who runs the marathon or the woman who writes the book. It is also the man who stops running and starts swimming so he can save his knees, or the woman who refuses a book tour in order to be at home with her young children. Self-discipline is the power to make and enforce the right choice despite opposition, whether the opposition be from others or from circumstances or from your own inclinations.

Self-Discipline Is Character
Self-discipline is a trait of character, like patience or honesty, that affects how you do everything in every area of your life. If you cultivate self-discipline in one area, it will inevitably spread around and begin affecting other areas. Conversely, if you begin to slack off in self-discipline in one area, you will soon see yourself going slack in other areas. Exercise self-discipline in small ways and it will grow. Neglect it and it will die.

Cultivating Self-Discipline
Begin with something small. Get up consistently. Work out twice a week. Turn dessert down. Drink water instead of soda. Stay home, read a book, and go to bed early instead of going out late. Or go out and make some friends instead of sitting at home by yourself.
Set a goal and work at it for at least 21 days. 30 is better. How did you do? If you were consistent, you have grown in self-discipline. Take on another challenge. Compliment your spouse every day. Work out 5 days a week. Read 10 pages before bed every night. Spend time with your kids. Plan a vacation instead of being a workaholic. Finish that remodeling project instead of letting it sit there and grate on your nerves.

Self-Discipline Builds the City
Without self-discipline, entropy sets in and the walls you have constructed will slowly crumble. Self-discipline isn't just a nice addition to a good range of virtues; it is necessary if you want to succeed in work, in relationships, in just being a person. Build strong walls to have a secure, productive, happy, healthy city, and keep them strong.