Alex and Brett Harris wrote a book called “Do Hard Things” which I probably would know nothing about but for an excerpt in TPE, the magazine of my church’s denomination. (Yep, I’m one of those crrrrazy Pentecostals. Are you scared? Are you making assumptions right now? You are, aren’t you? That’s okay. I love you anyway.)

I was impressed. The book is directed toward teenagers, which, strangely enough, is a group that no longer accepts me as one of their own. (I am still a little hurt by this.) The book’s premise seems to be (understand, I have only read an excerpt, not the whole book, so I’m sailing a little blind here) that the “Myth of Adolescence” has turned a group that should be vibrant, energetic, unstoppable into a lethargic and rebellious one.

What a waste. As the book says, “We waste some of the best years of our lives and never reach our full God-given potential. We never attempt things that would stretch, grow and strengthen us. We end up weak and unprepared for the amazing future that could have been.”

I’m 26. My husband is 25. We’ve both been working since we were about 14. Of course, it was part-time during the school year, and some of my earlier jobs were just baby-sitting. But at that tender, adolescent age, our parents expected us to begin to take responsibility, to pay for stuff we wanted, to contribute. We didn’t have to put grocery money into the family pot or anything, but that probably wouldn’t have been a bad idea.

We’re not rich, by any means. But we have worked for and gained an independence that many of my peers seem unable to find. And we’re not talking teenagers! It starts then, back at 13, or before, maybe at 10, or 6, when the whole world revolves around a child’s happiness. At what point do you let the child know that the point of the world isn’t to make him happy? It’s a sad awakening, and I have friends who are still fighting that knowledge as hard as they can.

Some people manage to avoid acknowledging that truth their entire lives, and they are the ones who Alex and Brett describe on their blog as “ Peter Pans who shave.” (This article they wrote describes more about “adultescence.”)

I see that in my generation, now in our mid-twenties. I see that in the one coming behind me, the teens with shiny laptops and enormous libraries of music on their iPods, but with no vision for the future, no library of skills or knowledge or character from which to draw.

We’re going to be playing catch-up for a while. We better start getting over our own lies and pointing the way.

Proverbs 25:28 He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls.

A city without walls = A man without self-discipline
A city without walls is insecure, defenseless, and unproductive. It is either disrupted and war-torn or deserted and desolate. One who has no rule over his own spirit, that is, no self-discipline, lives a life with the same problems. Without self-discipline, you may be comfortable but you are not secure. Without self-discipline, you may be defensive but you are without any true defense. Without self-discipline, you may fill your life with complicated processes but you will be far from productivity. A life without self-discipline is constantly disrupted by the crisis of the moment, the pull of the emotions, or the desires of the body. A life without self-discipline is desolate of success, purpose, and greatness.

Self-Discipline Is Power
To discipline yourself is consciously to take charge of your life, to make the best decisions possible and then, without regard for physical, mental, or emotional protest, to put the decisions into consistent action.
Self-discipline is the man who runs the marathon or the woman who writes the book. It is also the man who stops running and starts swimming so he can save his knees, or the woman who refuses a book tour in order to be at home with her young children. Self-discipline is the power to make and enforce the right choice despite opposition, whether the opposition be from others or from circumstances or from your own inclinations.

Self-Discipline Is Character
Self-discipline is a trait of character, like patience or honesty, that affects how you do everything in every area of your life. If you cultivate self-discipline in one area, it will inevitably spread around and begin affecting other areas. Conversely, if you begin to slack off in self-discipline in one area, you will soon see yourself going slack in other areas. Exercise self-discipline in small ways and it will grow. Neglect it and it will die.

Cultivating Self-Discipline
Begin with something small. Get up consistently. Work out twice a week. Turn dessert down. Drink water instead of soda. Stay home, read a book, and go to bed early instead of going out late. Or go out and make some friends instead of sitting at home by yourself.
Set a goal and work at it for at least 21 days. 30 is better. How did you do? If you were consistent, you have grown in self-discipline. Take on another challenge. Compliment your spouse every day. Work out 5 days a week. Read 10 pages before bed every night. Spend time with your kids. Plan a vacation instead of being a workaholic. Finish that remodeling project instead of letting it sit there and grate on your nerves.

Self-Discipline Builds the City
Without self-discipline, entropy sets in and the walls you have constructed will slowly crumble. Self-discipline isn’t just a nice addition to a good range of virtues; it is necessary if you want to succeed in work, in relationships, in just being a person. Build strong walls to have a secure, productive, happy, healthy city, and keep them strong.