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I ♥ Resolutions
Okay, I love New Year's. It's my favorite holiday. (I just realized that this year so I'm broadcasting it in hopes that the people I love will recognize and support me in my favoritism by buying me gifts for New Year's, too. I mean, it's the least they could do, really.)
I love making resolutions. I come up with a long list every year. Some years I decide not to go overboard, and I limit myself to something reasonable: 10 or, okay, 11 if I just can't help it.
And yeah, I don't keep them all. At all. Hardly ever. I goof, I fail, I mess up, I quit, I weaken, I have no willpower.
Except for this year. This is the year.
Right?
Making Progress? Really? (Or Is That Heartburn?)
I've noticed a disturbing trend, lately, despite my habitual resolution making and breaking: I'm actually making progress. I guess the endless repetition is finally getting to me. My resolutions are generally far bigger than can be accomplished in one year, anyway. (For example, #11 from 2005, "Prove global warming is a myth" and #6 from 2007, "If not a myth, figure out how to solve global warming." That just takes some time, I don't care who you are.)
I'm making progress. Don't ask me how, exactly. I still do a lot of the same stupid stuff in the same stupid way (i.e., get mad at Joe for not reading my mind, expect my kids to get along with each other, stay up too late, eat too much, forget to work out, forget to call, forget to write, forget my name, find myself on the Amtrak headed to Toronto in early spring... oh wait, sorry, I just lapsed into a Mommy-escape fantasy there. Back to what I was saying.)
I still do the same stupid stuff, but I don't do it quite as often. I still do the same stupid stuff, but I get over it quicker. And I'm happier. And maybe this has nothing to do with New Year's and making resolutions at all. Maybe this is just me and where I am in life, and I just happen to be reflecting on it all as 2009 goes out and 2010 comes in.
The last 5 years have been a rollercoaster. More ups than downs, and crazy fun, but intense.
A Recap
2004:
January - Joe and I start courting. (And yes, I said courting not dating and I'll go into that some other time but not here, goshdarnit, so just keep reading and don't get bogged down in those little details.)
May - Joe and I get engaged.
September - Joe and I get married. I move to St. Louis, since, being married and all, we kind of want to be together.
2005:
Jan - September - We adjust to married life, we work together in the family business, we have fun, I miss my family a lot, I want to have a baby, I start worrying that I can't get pregnant (no birth control! Hello!), I start writing more.
October - We're pregnant!
December - We buy a house and move in!
2006:
Jan - June - Pregnancy and home ownership.
July - Mara is born on July 11. We have a wonderful home birth. She is beautiful. She is an easy baby.
2007:
Feb - We decide that Mara is so easy, we should have another. We're pregnant!
May - I spend the entire month in MS to be with my Mom, who is not going to get better. It is the strangest experience I have ever had. Our emotions are as strung out as possible. I miss my husband.
June - My mom dies. I go back home. I am numb.
November - Robbie is born. Our son. I start getting unnumb.
December - We spend Christmas in Colorado. I think I was supposed to be born there, and live there, and we start plotting how we will move there.
2008:
April - My Dad gets married and my sister gets married, within a week of each other.
August - We haven't figured out what causes this. We're pregnant! My dad says, "You've got to be kidding me!" I alternate between "YAY" and fits of "ohmygoodness-howcouldyoudothistome-whydidwethinkthiswasagoodidea-wearegoingtobeinsane-weareinsane-ican'tdothis-aaaaaaaaaah."
2009:
April - Zeke is born. I think, "Third birth at home, nooo problem. It'll be easy." Haha, Andrea, haha. But he is beautiful, our little Ezekiel.
May - July - Our house, when did it start shrinking?
August - From out of nowhere comes a new place to live. We move into
"the parsonage." It's big. It has a huge stone fireplace and a sunroom and is on the 10 acres of church property, woods and fields and flowers and deer. I am in heaven. We rent out our house.
End Recap.
And here we are.
2010.
I think this is what I'm defining as progress, this feeling that I finally know who I am and am comfortable in that.
But don't think for a minute I'll stop making resolutions. I've gotten way too good at it to quit.
Image courtesy of
Sara. Nel.
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