photo credit:
Camdiluv ♥ AmmyLynn
Above all, to be honest.
Above all, to __________. (Fill in the blank with yours. Mine is write.)
It is possible to learn something new, to reinvent, to break old and begin new, to be young and ready and earnest and eager no matter your age, to wake with a spring, with a jump, to run to each day and take it, seized, wring from it the drops of life eternal, ebullient, ethereal, endless.
We don’t have to settle.
Why then, oh why then, do we?
For in the dark, in the early morning, in the alone or in the fervor, possible is not a promise but a literal pain, a weight of obligation, a burden of our own inadequacy. Reality is tough, grim, cold, inviting us just roll over,
just roll over,
just a few more minutes,
just go back to sleep.
Fools. We drown ourselves in half-inch-deep puddles, flail, gasp, die. Done.
All the stories playing in my mind and what do I wait for? Why not stop for ten minutes and write a sketch, a scene, a plot, a word or paragraph or page, why not here a little and there a little, until little by little, line upon line, something builds, becomes more than the sum, exists, grows, is a work, is accomplished, rings, demands, takes a place of its own in the world?
Why wouldn’t I? Why wouldn’t you?
Why wouldn’t we create, do the work, focus, finish, do the thing we dream of doing?
Thoreau called it: Oh life, frittered away in details.
Diapers, dishes, duties done, sleep, and all this we have chosen. We love and embrace and accept the daily fixtures and needs of our life but not at the expense of, the nihilation of, something essential to self, something essential to who we are made to be.
That separate dream. That other desire. That longing that gnaws at the core, demands to be acknowledged. This, too, is part of me. This, too, is important.
No blame. No pointing fingers. No if-only list.
We must refuse to blame time or circumstance or other people for in laying blame, we give away the power to what we blame. Blame means responsibility. Responsibility means authority, power.
My life is my own responsibility, and if I do or do not it is because of what I choose or choose not.
I can get out of bed, I can write even if no one reads, I can write even when I am tired, I can write when it doesn’t make sense, I can write when I’m distracted, I can write for five minutes a day, I can focus, I can choose.
I can build my own life. I can set my house in order. I can make the time. I can push harder. I can let go of the details. I can release what isn’t mine to own. I can quit controlling everything and start controlling myself. I can make a rule, a goal, a priority, a routine, a ritual for what matters. It is that important.
How?
Do.
For me, sit and write. For you… what?
Planning is too often a downfall. Action is the antidote to it all: procrastination, fear, doubt, confusion, hopelessness, lack, questions, uncertainty, self-incrimination, inadequacy, guilt, worry.