Image:
Young Child Walking Under Colorful Umbrella by
Pink Sherbet Photography
1. It’s not your job to entertain your kids; it’s your job to be their parent.
2. You’ll have to say No more than you get to say Yes. Stop counting. They aren’t.
3. Guilt will smother the life out of you if you let it.
And if you let it, you’ll also end up smothering the life out of your kids, and they won’t be able to get away soon enough. Don’t burden yourself with
comparisons and definitions of what a “good parent” is and simply
be the best parent you can be. That’s what your kids need.
4. Your kids will forget a lot about their childhoods. Take comfort in this fact.
Don’t worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you. - Robert Fulghum
5. What they will remember probably isn’t what you think they will (or should) remember. That big trip to Disney World, that ultra-amazing birthday party… these will have a spot in the memory bank, but the vivid, defining memories they carry with them will probably be much simpler. For example, here are a couple of mine: my Dad sprawled out on the living room floor with me, coloring. My Mom putting lotion on her hands. Building a fort in the woods and spending the night in it. Blackberry picking.
The best inheritance a parent can give his children is a few minutes of his time each day. - O. A. Battista
There will be screaming in the grocery store, loud, awkward things said at the exact wrong moment, mismatched clothing, snotty noses, and lots of not-so-subtle looks from people around you. Don’t worry. It will all come back around.
7. You will sleep again.
8. But you will never be able to fully, completely, 100% relax again.
So accept the times when you can get to 90% relaxed; realize that at least 10% or so of you will always be on alert, ready.
9. They do need to cry. So do you.
10. They don’t really need to scream. If it seems necessary, at least make them scream outside. No point in having that kind of noise level indoors.
12. Practice self-discipline first, and it will be much easier to teach your kids the discipline they need to succeed in life.
We are apt to forget that children watch examples better than they listen to preaching. – Roy L. Smith
13. Teach principles, not preferences.
14. Spend time training them to
do things the right way for your family, whether it’s the getting-ready-for-bed routine, or how to talk to people, or what music is worth listening to… Kids like learning. They love drills. They like repetition. This is not punishment for them, it’s feeding their thirst for knowledge and making life easier for everybody.
15. Before you give the command, decide if you’re willing to follow through.
16. It’s okay to get tired of your kids. It doesn’t mean you don’t like them or you’re not a good parent. It just means you’re a person.
17. Childhood psyches are pretty resilient, actually.
Don’t make it a drama if it doesn’t have to be.
Don’t handicap your children by making their lives easy. -Robert A. Heinlein
If you want children to keep their feet on the ground, put some responsibility on their shoulders. - Abigail Van Buren
19. Encouragement is better than praise.
Feelings of worth can flourish only in an atmosphere where individual differences are appreciated, mistakes are tolerated, communication is open, and rules are flexible — the kind of atmosphere that is found in a nurturing family. - Virginia Satir
21. Outside = one great big giant playground.
Make use of it.
22. Teach them the life skill of listening.
They’ll make friends easier, have better relationships, and learn more because of it.
24. There’s not really much you can do without kids that you can’t do with kids. Don’t limit your life with excuses.
26. Dirt, minor injuries, stubbed toes, scraped knees, disappointments, failures, imperfections:
these are part of the deal. For you, and for them…
27. You’ll never get to Perfect, so just enjoy the Present.
