Guilt is, apparently, a problem for a lot of people. Especially people of the female variety.
But overall, regardless of children’s age or marital status, women reported both more guilt and distress over work intrusions into the home. - USAToday
Women in both the adolescent age group and the 25-33 age group reported a higher level of expected guilt than the men. - NY Daily News
There have been studies that show that “problems in interpersonal relationships tend to evoke guilt (interpersonal guilt) and moral dilemmas more often in women.” This is labeled as “interpersonal sensitivity.” - FYI Living
We could spend some time talking about where the guilt comes from, why women have more of it, etc., etc., ad infinitum.
Whatever.
We know without analyzing further that guilt is counter-productive, a waste of time, an unnecessary burden.
Oh wait: do we know that?
If we really did know that guilt helps no one, wouldn’t we quit allowing it to influence us?
Here’s my point of learning, and maybe it will help you:
Took me some 27 years, but I finally realized that
guilt and conviction are not the same thing.
Let me ‘splain.
- Guilt is a vague, overwhelming, horrible, nasty, burdensome beast of cruelty that can never, ever, no matter how very very very hard you try, be appeased.
- Conviction, on the other hand, is a specific, definite, action-oriented, encouraging, motivating thought that tells you how to make your life better.
We often avoid conviction because it is spurring us to action, and action is difficult. Instead, we wallow in guilt, on the premise that simply by
feeling so bad about so much we’re paying our dues, making our life better, or at least justifying
all the things that are wrong.
What an enormous waste of time.
May I pose a suggestion, peoplings of the women variety?
Do something about that latent conviction you have. Take action on something specific you want to improve.
And tell guilt to beat it like a Michael Jackson song.
Try it.
For reals. Let me know. Work for you? (You can tell me if it doesn’t, but, um, I’m not going to feel guilty about it.)
image:
bailey rae weaver.