SISTER WISDOM

So a friend of mine, after reading my declarations of simplifying in the new year, asked me this question:

Since you are simplifying and getting rid of all of the excess in your life – how do you manage your kids’ clutter and toys? Not so much with organizing but just when you are sorting, what are your standards for keeping toys and which ones to throw away? I truly believe that less is more, but my kids’ toys keep piling up on me, no matter how much I purge.

My immediate thought was something very profound, like, Hmmm, good question.

how does one tame the giant toy monster?

I’ve had about 10 boxes of toys in the sunroom, waiting for me to sort through them, decide on keepers, and start getting rid of the rest. Note: the kids have NOT missed or asked for any of these toys. Of course they also got a new slew of toys over Christmas time, so there ya go.

Today I decided I had to make a little headway. I was inspired by my morning triumph of dropping 3 big bags of clothes off at one of those clothing donation huts. It felt so delicious that afterwards I took the kids for donuts. Those were delicious too.

Anyway, back to toys. After my first toy-sorting-and-clearing session, in which I was able to empty 4 boxes, fill 1 trash bag, and fill 2 big bags and 2 boxes with stuff to drop off at the St. Vincent’s thrift store,

here’s what I’ve figured out about toy organization.

1. Set a timer and don’t give yourself much time.

Speed is your friend. Time is your enemy. The longer you take, the more difficult it is to make decisions to get rid of stuff, and you start justifying how you’ll use it one day or save it for next month or what-have-you. Just don’t do it. I set my timer for 20 minutes and made it through 4 boxes of toys. Speeeeed, speed, speed (not the drug, you understand, just speed as in quickness. K.)

2.  Don’t worry about how you’re going to organize the toys yet.

Use plastic bags and shoe boxes and whatever you’ve got around and use them in the sorting process. This is not the time to go buy cutesy organizational containers or try to make everything fit in the ones you already have.

3. Set your criteria for what you’re gonna keep and what you’re gonna toss.

Here are my criteria, for what they’re worth.

what gets the boot

1. anything  broken, from mcdonald’s, cheapy-plastic, missing parts, or from an incomplete set. BYE.
2. anything that makes irritating noises and has no OFF switch. seriously. these are evil. BYE.
3. anything that requires fresh batteries every single week. BYE.
4. anything that requires elaborate set-up & care & intense detailed instruction on proper working and anything that is obviously over my kids’ play-intelligence level. BYE.
5. random unloved underappreciated stuffed animals. they actually do procreate. BYE.
6. anything that just irritates the crap out of me or defies my guiding principles (once I figure them out) or just doesn’t jive (I just said jive, ha) with the way we (want to) live our life. Barbies, for example. I don’t have any moral issues with Barbie, they just get on my nerves. I don’t like them, don’t want Mara emulating them, and especially don’t want to have to 1) pay money to Mattel for them or 2) spend my time picking up Barbie shoes. Mara can play Barbies when she visits her cousins or friends… we just aren’t bringing them home.

what gets to stay

1. toys that I know they LOVE.
2. complete sets/collections (not always necessarily matching, but things that are played with “together” like Mara’s collection of little dolls).
3. wooden toys (unless they’re broken).
4. toys that teach skills. I think marketers would like us to call these educational toys, but then they tag every toy produced as educational. “this amazing toy will teach your infant colors, numbers, the periodic table, and spatial recognition!” yeah, whatev. It will teach my infant to chew on shiny things.  toys like blocks, building sets, matching games, lincoln logs, toy clocks, etc.: these teach recognizable skills at an appropriate intelligence/developmental level for the child.
5. toys that are made well and will last through several children.
6. toys that grow with them, i.e. sets like Thomas the Train Engine that my 1 1/2 yr old, 3 yr old, and 4 1/2 yr old all play with in different ways.
7. toys that help me accomplish a purpose: toys that encourage indoor activity for winter time, garden tools for summertime, etc.
8. artsy/crafty stuff (except for those random broken crayons and pieces of yarn and other stuff. Toss).

Basically, it’s the famous William Morris quote about only keeping things that you know to be useful or believe to be beautiful in your homes, just applied to toys.

useful and/or beautiful toys

After all,  a toy’s purpose is 1) to be played with… and 2) to teach. Kids learn through play. If their toys are teaching them nothing, or if they aren’t playing with the toys, then they are useless, taking up space and mental energy and giving nothing back. Toss ‘em, give ‘em away, donate them, sell them, whatever.

And by the way, if you don’t believe toys can be beautiful, it’s just because you’ve been in Wal-Mart too often. Someday when I have more money I will shop at Etsy exclusively…

Image: Yeah we all shine on, like the moon, and the stars, and the sun. John Lennon by katerha