Have you dropped any of
those 10 bad habits yet? You should do that… and then reach ahead….
1. Learn and practice the art of listening.
It’s a guaranteed help for your marriage, and it’s a great thing to practice in every conversation with every person you encounter. When was the last time you really listened to your kids? Or your Mom? Or that neighbor who always drops in?
2. Start having unplugged time.
Designate a day out of the week or a few hours at night when all computers and cell phones are off and you are simply alive in the world, together. We need – desperately – more time away from constant consumption, information, and digital interaction. We need more time to digest. We need time to breathe. We need time to process. We need time for things to come to the surface. We need less distraction and more depth.
3. Find a role model or an ideal and use that as your basis of comparison.
Role models give us a tangible ideal of life as it could be. Sometimes it’s too difficult to just stop comparing. So find someone worth comparing to. If you can’t find anyone, sit down and write out your ideal life, vision, world, self, future. Tack it up on the wall.
You have to expect things of yourself before you can do them. -Michael Jordan
4. Start expanding your frame of reference.
- Travel. Get out of town, out of state, out of the country. Don’t critique. You’re not there to compare and identify all the ways these people do things differently. Go to learn. Go to see new things. Go to get a bigger picture of the world.
- Volunteer. Offer your help at a charity or mission or at your church. Get around people and groups that aren’t in your normal orbit. Listen, be courteous, treat everyone with respect. Pay attention. Get the stories.
- Read. Read widely, read often, read well. Feed on books. They nourish your mind and your soul. They expand your world. And they’re cheaper than a plane ticket.
- Meet people. Everywhere you go, notice the people around you. Be ready with a smile, a handshake, an introduction. Don’t be shy. Reach out. Make conversation. Invite people into your life.
- Get into other cultures. Learn a new cuisine, watch foreign films, go to the Middle East Market, practice Spanish with a friend from Mexico or Guatemala, ask questions, soak it up.
5. Start taking responsibility.
Listen: there are always extenuating circumstances. Nothing is never perfect. This is life on earth. Stop making excuses, start taking responsibility. There is a power and freedom in taking responsibility. You will find yourself stronger, better able to cope, less emotionally driven, less offended, less hurt, less angry, and, definitely, less victimized.
6. Start using my Mom’s rule: “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.”
This is the complete and definite opposite of being snarky. This rule will not make you popular in trendy circles. This rule will probably make you the butt of jokes in those same trendy circles. Who cares?
7. Cultivate a real sense of humor.
Laugh at yourself. Laugh at the silly things in life. Laugh when plans change. Laugh at the absurdity of little humans trying to run the world.
A sense of humor judges one’s actions and the actions of others from a wider reference… It pardons shortcomings; it consoles failure. It recommends moderation. -Thornton Wilder
8. Get more iron in your life.
As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. (Proverbs 27:17) Seek out people who will tell you the truth and challenge you to be the best version of yourself. Steer away from those who accept mediocrity in their lives. Cut back on relationships that drag you down. If every conversation you have with a friend is gossiping, complaining, or comparing, you are wasting your time and hers. If you are not influencing for the better, you are being influenced. Find people who will influence you toward good.
9. Start assuming the best about yourself, about life, and about every single person you meet.
Assume that they’re all interesting, worthwhile, valid, exceptional people with burning purpose and a passion to help and a willingness to serve and something of value to offer. Assume the same about yourself. Assume that every single thing you do makes an impact. Soon it will be true.
10. Start the daily habit of proactive generosity.
Look for ways to give. Offer your help, your expertise, your money, your wisdom, your wit, your time, your home, your hospitality, your food, your insight, your experience, your humility, your hands, your cleaning supplies. Offer what you have. Look for a need you can meet every single day. Meet it. Make it a habit. Make generosity a foundational principle in your life.
Provision for others ia fundamental responsibility of human life. -Woodrow Wilson