A sarcastic look at stereotypes as part of the series: Modern Homemaking REdefined.
- Wear Doc Martens or Birkenstocks. This is, in fact, the only footwear you are allowed to own, unless you score some vintage lace-up boots at the thrift store or get into making your own flip-flops.
- Obviously, you’ll be burning incense before and after you clean the house. Bonus points if you do a spiritual house cleansing as part of your weekly cleaning routine.
- Except never mind on the last part of #2, because you won’t have any sort of formal “weekly cleaning routine.” That’s much too restrictive. You’ll go with the flow, cleaning as you feel moved.
- Don’t get irritated at muddy footprints, smudges on the windows, and other signs of life. This is the evidence that your children are growing and embracing life.
- NO make-up (duh.) No perms or hair dye. NO toxic cleansers, synthetic fragrances, or man-made material.
- You should definitely learn how to sew. This is, like, basic Hippie Homemaker requirement.
- Repurposing should be a way of life. Buy vintage so much that you forget there’s actually a “new” option.
- It goes without saying that you don’t shop at Wal-mart. Or Target. EVER.
- Embrace a communal, hospitable mindset. Your door should always be open to friends, family, hobos, strays, and, of course, other hippies. Cook up large batches of food every night just in case.
- Experiment regularly with culturally-iffy changes to your home and person, like going without deodorant, getting rid of all your children’s toys, leaving the windows open 24/7, growing hemp (ahem), and letting your yard become a natural prairie rehabilitation spot.
Bonus points for any of the following:
- dredlocks
- vintage fabric hand-sewn items as Christmas gifts
- beans as 90% of your protein
- home birth, natural birth, water birth, home-natural-water birth
- thinking about being a doula
- DOUBLE bonus points if you ARE a doula
- inability to name even three or four of the top ten tv shows
{moment of truth: what’s your score?}
Okay, fine, I’ll go first.
Bomb on #1. I wear flip-flops or am barefoot 90% of the time in warm weather, but don’t own any Docs or Birks or vintage shoes (unless the AE boots I’ve had since I was 16 count as vintage) and don’t plan on making my own flips.
#2. don’t even own incense. Wow I thought I was more of a hippie than this. And #3. I do have a weekly cleaning routine and it saves me.
#4. Well, I don’t get very irritated at stuff like that because at least it means we’re outside in the real world, doing stuff. Mud cleans up.
#5. Huh. I wear make-up (albeit not much) every day. My hair is dyed. I am slowly getting rid of toxic/synthetic stuff… but it’s taking a while.
#6. Huh again. I am a hippie fail. I have sewn 2 things in my life, and neither very well.
#7. I like repurposing and vintage; I do prefer them to new.
#8. I LOVE TARGET! Take that you hippie freaks!
#9. Okay, I’m pretty good on this one. I love to cook, and we love being hospitable, having friends/relatives/strangers/anyone over, anytime, with no notice… Every now and then I will call a “family only” night, and we chill with a movie and don’t invite or answer the phone. Otherwise, it’s a come-on-in environment.
#10. OOooookay, so I’ve tried/done all these except hemp. And the prairie thing wasn’t really purposeful… just oversight…
BONUS POINTS:
No dreds! Can’t sew! I like meat! But (whew) I do get 3 points for the birth: my kids are home/natural/water births, all 3 ‘of em. I have thought about being a doula. Briefly. Then I started writing again, instead… it was easier… And on the tv shows… I don’t watch them because we don’t have cable or otherwise… we watch movies instead, generally, or we sit on the porch and wave at people driving by. Yep. Exciting life, that’s us.
Ok. Your turn.
Fess up!
How hippie are you?
Answer below, or answer on your own blog and leave a link in the comments. If you have any articles related to the hippie-esque mentions above, link them up too. That way we can all be more hippie together. We could start a commune… but only if we all keep wearing deodorant.
Annie Pseudo-Hippie Homemaker out. Going to cook some beans. Then go to Target.
THIS IS HILARIOUS!!! Thanks, I needed this one today!
1. I love birks- but I haven’t owned any in years. I think I may have to remedy this one.
2. Incense makes me sneeze. ‘Nuff said.
3. I NEED routine. {No really- I need one. Can someone help me? PLEASE?}
4. I would go into some type “shock” or “arrest” if I let those things slide. Nope, can’t do it!
5. I’ll keep my make-up and hair dye. {I went grey at 15 thank you very much.} I am trying to get rid of the chemically cleaners though…
6. This just makes me LAUGH. I bought myself a sewing machine as an “I got fired” present last year. I have used it x2. It defeated me. It now lives in the closet.
7. I love repurposing. Not good at it {yet}.
8. Forget it. You’ll never take my TARGET.
9. I have the mindset- we just don’t know alot of peeps around here… but there are always neighborhood kids running in and out- does that count?!
10. {Can I tell you I cackled like Beavis and Butthead when I read HEMP. YES, I am SO juevenile!} I do culturally “iffy” things at times, much to my hubs chagrin!
I only get one BONUS point because I have thought about becoming a doula. No nautral birth {I like drugs… again with Beavis and Butthead}, I like MEAT, I am addicted to TV, you heard about my sewing machine, I like to brush my hair….
I guess (thank goodness) I’m pretty low on the hippie scale. The only one I can say yes to is #8.
No WalMart, Sam’s, Costco, or Target.
I did however get rid of all TV’s in the house about 5 years ago. Rather than counting toward hippie points, I think that indicates I’m sane.
wheeeee Rach thanks for playing!! Monday can always use a good dose of humor.
Hilarious. I saw this on Ann’s Blogger Monday facebook page.
I think that NO ONE should ever shop at Wal Mart or Target. They are the EVIL EMPIRE if you ask me.
And, apparantly I need to do some research on how to make my own flip flops. That sounds awesome.
Well, I only got 2…but does it count that I live in hippie ville ie; Sebastopol, CA? I mean really, we are #1 hippie land for the country and of course Berkeley is our city counter part! So I must say I enjoy it, although I personally am still a bit more east coast in style!
OMG! I’m more of a hippie than I thought!
1)I have 3 pairs of birks and one pair of Docs – nuff said
2)No to incense – makes me sneeze
3)Definitely no cleaning routine
4)No – don’t get irritated by it – good job with 2 kids and 2 dogs in and out all day
5)Make -up hardly ever, do dye my hair but use chemical free cleaning products. Do wear man made fabrics
6)I can sew – but don’t have the time nowadays
7)Not so much now but used to buy vintage all the time
8)Do shop at Walmart and target for some things
9)no – like my privacy
10)I’ve had my moments
Bonus
I had a natural home water birth with my youngest daughter and did think about becoming a doula. I also breast fed until my youngest was 4 1/2
Maybe I should work on the others and reach total hippieness – not
What a creative post! Love it!
For me:
#1 – BOMB – I haven’t worn Birks in over 25 years and have no idea what Doc Martens are. :0)
#2 – MAYBE – I do own incense, but since I don’t clean my house, they don’t get burned before and after. We have burned sage for cleansing, but not sure if this counts.
#3 – PASS – See #2
#4 – BOMB – We have puppies and, I have to admit, get a little irritated at constantly running after them with paper towels. Good thing they’re really cute!
#5 – BOMBED totally – Nuff said!
#6 – BOMB – I completely dislike sewing!
#7 – BOMB – could use some progress in the repurposing arena.
#8 – BOMB – Do shop at Target every-so-often, but not much. I don’t think I’ve ever been in a WalMart, though.
#9 – PASS WITH FLYING COLORS! Our home is always open to friends and we always have way too much food! That’s why we have a freezer in our basement now.
#10 – BOMB – Nope, can’t do that!
I guess I got a 20% in the grading scale. No hippie here!
Cheers!
This was so fun! Ok, Hippie FAIL for me! I think I only got #5 and #6 (I do try to use only natural stuffs – no perfumes, no dyes, etc. and I need to learn to sew — I’ve got a pinstripe to mend!). Can I get half-credit for #1 since I have flip-flops but they aren’t home made?
Cheers,
Lee
Wow, I grew up during the 60′s, but any of the hippieness I had seems to have gone away. The only places I score are using non-toxic cleaning products as much as possible (I love WOWGreen products!), not shopping at Walmart (that’s 1/2 pt because I still go to Target once in a while!), and cooking big meals.
Well, it looks like I’m a total underachiever in the hippie homemaker department. But maybe I could get sympathy points for the whole not-applying-myself thing. As always, you made me chuckle today, Annie!
Peace. Out.
Well, I definitely don’t wear make up and have considered being a doula (not!), but I do know what a doula is (does this qualify me, being a guy and all)?.
Whew – very low score!
This was so very funny! I always thought of myself as a hippie, more of a flower child I guess. But I don’t wear berks or doc martens, incense makes me sneeze (although I do burn sage), Don’t color my hair and try to stay with organic and non-toxic stuff. But I do love Target although I do not shop much, particularly now that I am more of a vagabond traveler. I do love meat and not even sure what a doula is, will have to google that one! Think I will hang out in the garden and meditate about it all! Thanks for the chuckle!
Cheryl
Welp , past not dying my hair, and not wearing makeup, I fail…but then never striven to be a hippy…but it was a very enjoyable read, and now I know what I am not LOL
I think I got 4 of them. #3 I definitely don’t have a cleaning schedule which is why I probably don’t care about finger prints #4. (I did allow my children to draw on the walls in their room.) I love to re-purpose #7and for a bonus I banned purchased gifts last year for Christmas.All gifts were homemade.
I am so glad I didnt have my babies a home.
Totally hilarious and got me remembering the past.
I dont go to hippieville, and barely pass go. I am ok with opening the door wide open to guests but I dont have big pots of food cooking, or incense. I love to repurpose for decorating my clients and my own home, but I do enjoy a good shop.
Love to hear more in the series so I can figure out where I “belong” LOL!
Jen
The Home Makeover Mixtress blending cool and Cozy Style.
Love it and so true. I think our society is creating modern day hippies. They want to get simplier and go natural with products, everything eco friendly, but looking good is priority. Dyes, highlights and make up are a must for the modern day hippie.
I FLUNKED!
but people are sooo serious).
1.High heels almost always there sandles though, 2. We do the incenses (would joke about Mary Jane
3. At least I don’t have a formal cleaning routine having no kids and enough underwear for a month helps.
4.My husband is so OCD I never have to worry about mud, bugs, or disorganization.
5. I’ve been wearing make-up since I was 6 (its herbal & botanical though) and now that my head looks older than the rest of my body my younger husband insist I keep that situation in check (his pet name for me Lady Red).
6.Sewing? Thank God I have sisters.
7.The only think I really like aged is beef.
8.So Fred Meyers is OK?
9.I very much embrace the communal, drop in any time,I love to cook mindset. Hubby is another story.
10.Leaving the windows open upstairs 24 hours yeah I can do that.
I funked Hippie! Oh where, oh where do I belong?
awesome to see all the replies here… looks like on the whole, we’re all leaning pretty far away from hippie at this point. Guess we better hold off on that commune.