Over the last few days, I’ve been skimming through Dr. Kevin Leman’s Becoming the Parent God Wants You to Be.
I picked it up from the church library after one of those weeks when I figured my fertility must have been oversight on God’s part. “Oh no, Annie had kids? That wasn’t supposed to happen…”
Yeah, yeah, one of those. And after one of those conversations in which a recently-returned-to-town friend casually threw out the, “So, what are you guys up to? What’s been going on with you lately?” bomb-of-a-question.
Eh? I wanted to say, Do you see these small people following me? They are what has been going on lately, and as far as I can tell, they are what will be going on for the next ten or fifteen or (dear God please help me) twenty years. That’s what I’m up to.
I held my tongue and said something vague and more appropriate. One of these days, though…
Anyway, on to the point, which I have now forgotten. Oh, yes, the book. The book that I brought home and which subsequently sat on my desk until another one of those weeks went by, at which point I pulled it out and thought, Maybe this would be more helpful if I read it.
Indeed.
“…godly parenting means treating your children the way God treats us, His children. He lovingly helps us make wise decisions about the realities of life.” (p. 21)
The line “treating your children the way God treats us” made me stop and think. God is not a taskmaster. God is not set on vengeance. God is not offended by our failures. God is not demanding our perfection. God is available. God is listening. God is speaking in ways I can understand, over and over again until I get it. God is not interested in the outward appearance, but in the heart. God is understanding, loving, gentle, kind, and merciful. God is truthful, firm, strong, and secure. God is happy: the joy of the Lord is my strength. How can He give me joy if He doesn’t have it Himself?
Ready for the obvious translation?
I should not be a taskmaster over my children. I should not be set on vengeance toward myself, for failing, or toward anyone else. I should not be offended my my children’s failures. I should not be demanding their perfection. I should be available. I should be listening, aware, watching. I should be speaking in ways that my children can understand, over and over again until they get it. I should not be so interested in how they look and should be completely interested in their little hearts. I should be understanding, loving, gentle, kind, and merciful. I should be truthful, firm, strong, and secure. (Not wavering. Not a pendulum.) I should be happy, too. It’s good to be happy.
I say “should be” not to pour guilt on myself or anyone else but to show us all what is possible.
Of course, with man these things are impossible. They are too high, too wide, too deep for my narrowness. But with God… with God…
all things are possible.
I stumbled across your blog yesterday and just wanted to say that this post really hit home with me. It’s easy to get frustrated and lose sight as a parent. What a great reminder for us all!
“one of those weeks when I figured my fertility must have been oversight on God’s part.” LOL!!!! I was laughing so hard I had to come back to read the rest of the post! I always looked at the fact that I have kids is proof of God’s sense of humor!
“God is speaking in ways I can understand, over and over again until I get it.” This really spoke to me today. I get so frustrated when I have to tell the kids something over and over and they forget. But, the truth is…I forget too and God doesn’t yell at me! He should….