I don’t know what has tipped me off. Maybe the guy who let the door close in my face while I struggled to carry my child, my purse, and my bag of groceries.
Maybe the waitress who never said you’re welcome, but just kind of grunted in response to my thank you… five times in one dinner.
Maybe the mom who let her two kids climb all over the equipment at my husband’s business, equipment worth thousands of dollars, and just got huffy when my mother-in-law suggested it might be dangerous.
Maybe one of those.
Or maybe it was the grocery store owner who helped me take my groceries to the car, load them, and then thanked me sincerely for shopping at his store.
Maybe it was the older man who held the door for me, my baby, all my stuff, and my entourage of children who don’t go through doors quickly.
Maybe the nice Southern boys I met a few days ago who called me ma’am.
Maybe one of those.
The tipping off has happened, though, and I am putting together my own list of Good Manners 101. I think people need it, because of all the examples I’ve just mentioned where common courtesy is, obviously, not so common. I think people still care about manners, because of all the examples of courtesy still in common practice. Maybe we all just need a refresher course. So here goes.
Good Manners 101: The List
- When you ask for something, say please.
- When you need someone’s attention, say pardon me or excuse me.
- When you bump into someone, knock their ankles with your shopping cart, nearly knock them over in a crowd, step on their toes, or otherwise cause them pain, however unintentional, stop, turn around, look them in the eyes and say pardon me or excuse me or even (for the radicals) I’m sorry.
- When you drop something, like a straw or a match stick or a gum wrapper, pick it up and dispose of it properly.
- When someone gives you a compliment, say thank you.
- When someone gives you a gift, cooks you a meal, or in anyway treats you, serves you, or helps you, say thank you.
- When someone says thank you, say you’re welcome.
- Offer your seat (if there are no more available) to an elderly person or a pregnant woman or anyone hurt, disabled, or sick. (If you are a man, you should offer your seat to any woman.)
- Hold the door open for people behind you, especially for women, children, and the elderly.
- Look people in the eyes when they talk to you.
- Don’t interrupt. If you have to interrupt, say excuse me, I’m sorry to interrupt.
- When you are introduced to someone, say something like Hello, Mary, it’s a pleasure to meet you. Then extend your hand for a handshake. (I am constantly amazed by how many people don’t know how to meet people! Where were their mothers?)
- Introduce the people in your group. Do this even if it is only a group of two, and you are only chatting for a moment with an acquaintance who walked by. The exception to this rule is if you are in a very large group, in which case you should excuse yourself from the group, go have your moment’s conversation, and then return.
- Wait your turn in line. Don’t cut in front of people. Don’t jingle your keys and tap your fingers and huff at the slow person in front of you.
- Don’t text someone else while I’m talking to you. Really. I’ll wait until you’re done.
What am I forgetting?
Feel free to add to the list in the comments.
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Images
1. Don’t even get me started courtesy of krossbow on Flickr.