SISTER WISDOM

The Audacity of Passion

There is so much audacity in putting words on paper and assuming any of them are worthwhile. And it’s no good saying, “Well if only one person is helped by what I write then it is worth it…” That’s a lovely, noble albeit impractical thought and to it I say it better be some person to keep me waking up at 4 a.m. to scribble things down and that person must need a lot of help.

I hope it is crowds of people and thousands of copies and yes, large sums of money. Because money is a sign of value, and if I am to find a decent value in the time I’ve put in it will take a lot of money.

But that might not happen.

And I’ll write anyway, though heartsick at times for a word of praise, a paid job, a recognition, acceptance, affirmation.

That’s not why I write, though, because if it were I’d have stopped long ago and just focused on something like gardening or having babies, both of which seem to be far more productive. I might have a genuine knack for the baby thing…

Balance Is a Myth

Life is always happening. I have to choose my part in it.
Balance is a myth, I think, one we should reject summarily. Great and genius people, those who change what is, are never great examples of balance. They are, most often, the worst at it, because greatness, genius, and passion require more dedication than a “balanced life” can give. Balance is for the consumer, not the creator.

Give Up False Desires

We need to determine what gives us the most pleasure at a level beyond the distracted, flesh-driven, easy answer. We all have superfluous interests, things that are not bad but that don’t reach the very core of who we are. They deceive us, like thinking we’re hungry for food when really we need a long drink of good water.

They are temporary desires, circumstantial, arbitrary, and the result is a befuddled mind and satiation without satisfaction. I don’t think any of us were meant to be consumers only, as the definition of our life. How many hobbies, interests, so-called passions are based on consuming rather than on creating, giving, being, producing?

We need to find the true passions and then guiltlessly, freely, unhesitatingly get rid of the extraneous. Downsize, downplay, eliminate or simplify everything else. Why not focus on what matters most? Isn’t it really absurd to do anything else?

Sacrificing for Your Passion

I have stumbled across a few truths and one of them is that there is no such thing as a perfect life, a perfectly balanced life, or really even a simple life. Certain sacrifices must be made in order to pursue anything you’re passionate about.

Writing I am passionate about, but that’s not all. I’m also passionate about truth and about books, both of which mix very handily with my writing habit. I’m also passionate about my husband and children and the love I want to give them. That – family, its demands and rewards – does not mix handily with writing. But what of it? Neither passion is negated or even lessened in the slightest by the other.

Sure, there is plenty of side-sorting to do through the age-old things like guilt and resentment and lack of time. But none of those things are new or unique to my situation.

Avoiding Guilt and Resentment

We are a people who are capable of seeing our own imperfections, and we’ll always find something to feel guilty or resentful about just to avoid the real causes:

• We feel guilty for not living up to the perfection we know (instinctively) and crave, and simultaneously
• We feel resentful of carrying this instinct, this knowledge and burden of the perfect while being unable to reach it.

We would do ourselves a favor, release ourselves to be something worthwhile, if we would release this urge for balance and perfection and turn our energy instead toward our passions. Perfectionism just results in creative frustration. The pursuit of balance – mythical, unattainable, magical, immeasurable balance – results in creative paralysis.

Our lives will find their own natural rhythm if we quit worrying about an artificial balance and start living in time with our heartbeat.

Images
1. “The Light” courtesy of Jody McNary Photography on Flickr.