SISTER WISDOM

What you do or don’t do in the morning sets the tone and effects the outcome of the rest of your day. It’s not that you can’t recover from a difficult morning, but it’s much better to start the day off right than try to recoup what’s left of it. Our bad habits, lack of habits, lack of planning, lack of self-discipline, and over-achiever tendencies conspire against us to make mornings miserable. The way you handle your morning matters for the rest of your day, and since your life is simply the sum of your days, you could sum it up like this: how you handle the first few hours of your day says a lot about what your whole life is and will be.

Putting Yourself in Charge

Kids, oh kids, are naturally curious creatures whose brains, somehow, are reprogrammed every night during sleep so that they wake up with one question rattling around in their brains: who’s in charge today, me or Mom? Even the well-trained, well-behaved little people will still be testing the waters in their own small way. What’s Mom like today? Is she on top of things? Does she have a plan? Does she know what’s going on? Or is she groggy, distracted, and easy to manipulate? Can I get away with whining today? Can I get my own way?

Your kids are going to push you as far as they can. They are finding out where the boundaries are, if they still exist, if they’ve shifted. Too often my kids find me a little unsure and disoriented in the morning, so they sneak in a few runs past the normal limits. The rest of the day is me trying to re-establish where I want the limits to be. I would save myself a lot of trouble if I would just be clear, first thing in the morning.

Applying It

• Get up before the kids. I don’t think it matters if you’re dressed or not, but you need to be aware and awake, not groggy and disoriented and in that pre-coffee “Huh?” stage.

• Drink up! Eat up! Get some food and caffeine going and get yourself alive.

• Remind yourself of what is important for the day; take a look at your calendar, or your to do list from the day before.

• Don’t let them get away with line-crossing; if you deal with it immediately and effectively on their first attempt of the day, you’ll have less to deal with as the day goes on.

A Word About Morning Routines (less is more)

Morning routines are important: they provide a structure while you’re still half-asleep, so you can just move on auto-pilot and make sure you get breakfast ready, kids dressed, kids on bus, husband to work… or whatever your morning schedule looks like. However, I’ve noticed a lot of organizational/home-making sites can over-emphasize morning routines, and that often results in us creating over-complicated, over-zealous routines that just make us want to crawl back into bed.

For moms, especially for moms of young children who still require a lot of hands-on help, the simpler the morning routine, the better. Of course there are exceptions; if you’re a morning person and you really thrive on structure and detail, create a routine that fits your preferences. For me, I don’t want a 20-point list first thing in the morning. I try to accomplish what I can the night before and keep my morning as simple as possible. (Pssst… I don’t even write my morning routine down…).

Applying It

My simple morning routine looks something like this:

• Stumble to bathroom, take care of necessities, get dressed (my clothes are on the bathroom counter, usually, so I don’t have to think about that part)
• Get some coffee, load up Joe’s lunch bag, eat a banana
• Go to my office, Bible/journal, then work on writing projects until kids wake up (refill coffee as needed)
• Set out breakfast for the kids, take bottle to the baby
• Straighten my bedroom
• Change, dress, & feed baby, clean up kitchen
• Help kids get dressed, start the day

There are certain things you already do in the morning (breakfast, dress, take care of children) and making them deliberate – by putting them into a simple, repeatable routine – just puts you in charge.

Something to Look Forward To

I’m a morning person, but I still have a difficult time hopping out of bed when my alarm goes off. For you night people, I know it’s even harder. One tip: Reward yourself for getting up in the morning when you should (as opposed to sleeping in until the absolute last minute, then rushing around in a frenzy).

For me, the coffee and the quiet solitary time to write is a huge reward. My days are full and fun and busy with lots of teaching and talking and playing and working and coming and going; but I’m a person who recharges by being alone. The time in the morning for myself is sacred; it’s about God, it’s about me, it’s about my goals and passions. It’s not about my husband or the kids or the house.

Applying It

What makes it worthwhile for you to get out of bed? You introverts and writerly types might relate to my personal reward system; the rest of you will be thinking something like why would I get out of bed for that?

So you need to come up with your reward. It could be something cumulative (if I get up five mornings in a row, I get to buy a new purse..) but I think definite, immediate rewards work better: something you get as soon as you’ve accomplished the goal, so your sleep-deprived mind starts associating the good reward with the getting up out of bed. A great breakfast, a good cup of coffee, a morning walk, a new magazine or book waiting for you, a piece of chocolate, whatever. It doesn’t have to be big, but something you enjoy and look forward to and, preferably, something you can repeat every day as part of your morning routine.

Tips for Making Morning Easier

• Simplify, simplify, simplify. Make things easy on yourself.
• Hide the alarm clock in the next room so you have to get out of bed to turn it off. (If you can, put your reward within sight of it.)
• Put your clothes out in the bathroom. One less thing to figure out in the morning.
• Breakfast should be simple, easy, and require very little thought from you, unless you just enjoy cooking it. I don’t. I hate cooking breakfast (even though, in general, I love cooking.) So we eat simple breakfast: Joe often makes a smoothie for me and himself, or I just eat a piece of fruit or some yogurt. The kids get cereal or a piece of toast or oatmeal, with milk and a banana on the side. Simple, repetitive.
• Get your coffee ready the night before, so all you have to do is push the button; or get a programmable coffee maker so it’s already hot and ready when you get to the kitchen.
• Drink a big glass of water first thing, when you brush your teeth. It helps get your body energized and going, plus you need it after a night’s sleep.
• Try to pick things up the night before, get the dishes done, so you don’t walk into a mess. Nothing makes me want to go hide in bed more than a dirty kitchen and a messy house. Ick.
• Have a planner or list or calender out where you see it so you start thinking about your day, what’s ahead, what you’re excited about, what you want to accomplish.
• Turn on some music or talk radio so the silence doesn’t lure you back to sleep.

Relaxed Days

A note on sleeping in: I think sleeping in is great, sometimes. I love it when we have an open Saturday and we just kind of meander out of bed whenever (usually earlier than I want due to kids who wake up) and hang out in our pajamas. Sometimes I’ll choose to do that on a weekday, especially if it’s been a hectic or extremely tiring week already and we’re all worn out. There’s nothing wrong with choosing to move slow and be relaxed, and sometimes that’s exactly what we need. Choose your slow mornings deliberately. There’s nothing relaxing about oversleeping and then having to rush.
On weekday mornings, if you need a slower day but you still have to get people out the door, try going ahead and getting up as normal, going through your routine to get the necessities done, and then collapse on the couch with a movie and whatever kids are left at home with you. Or go back to bed, if you’re kid-free! That way you can enjoy your slower days, no guilt, no rush.

-

Image by Lincolnian on Flickr.