SISTER WISDOM

The elements of an orderly day are (in no particular order)…
1. A Plan
2. A Routine
3. A Limit (or lots of them, as the case may be)

But first, a step back. What does it mean to have an orderly day? And I guess we might as well ask, why do we want to have one? (Though since you’re reading this post we could assume you already have your own reasons for wanting to have one, starting perhaps with Sanity.)

“Order my steps in Thy Word; and let not any iniquity have dominion over me.”
(Psalm 119:133)

To order, the word in the verse above, means to establish, to set up, to fix, to make ready, to prepare. When your life is ordered (or orderly), it is firmly established, stable, secure, directed aright, morally steadfast, and securely determined.

So if your life is not orderly, you lack stability, preparedness, security, direction, and steadfastness. You probably lack peace and calmness, too, because without a basic sense of order in your life it’s difficult to feel calm and peaceful.

“Let all things be done decently and in order.”
(1 Corinthians 14:40)

To do things in order means to arrange and deal with them in their proper place, at their proper time. An orderly life does not mean a) you’re boring or b) you have a boring life or c) you’re slave to some arbitrary and detailed schedule or d) you can’t be spontaneous or e) you like Spam. (Nor does it mean that you do not like Spam; you’re free to go either way with Spam and still have an orderly life. Be reassured.)

An orderly life means you know what needs to be part of your day and you know where it fits in. You also know what doesn’t need to be part of your day and what won’t fit in.

A Plan

A plan can be on paper or in your head. It can be simple (usually best) or long and complicated. It tells you what you care about (sometimes we forget). It tells you what is important. It tells you, on any given day, what to focus on. A plan can be the to-do list on that scrap of paper or it can be a notebook or a schedule or what-have-you. All it means in the context of having an orderly day is that you know what you’re going for.

Some things on the plan, from day to day, stay essentially the same. Meals, daily chores, taking care of children, work. That’s where a routine comes in.

A Routine

A routine gives you the power of repetition for that stuff that is, well, repeated on a regular basis. Breakfast, lunch, dinner. Bath time. Cleaning. Laundry. Work tasks. Paperwork. Bill paying. Reading. Errands. Chores. Having a daily routine puts these things into a predictable spot in your day so you don’t have to figure it out over and over and over. You know it will happen because it’s part of the routine, and you stick to your routine. Routines save wear-and-tear on your brain.

A Limit

A limit gives you boundaries to keep from attempting to cram more into your life than you should. You can have all the organizing gadgets made, but if you try to stuff too much into your closet, it’s still going to be disorderly. The same goes for life. When you try to fit too much in, you simply cannot maintain order. Limits keep you from cramming too much into your life. A basic part of order is giving adequate time and space to each part of your day.

Those are kind of the basics; and somehow this relates to parenting. Let’s see…

A Plan for Parenting

When you have a plan, you are in charge. Your kids pick up on this immediately. They also pick up on the fact that, without a plan, you are an aimless wanderer, easily manipulated… A plan gives you purpose for the day. It gives you reasons for the answers you give your children: No on this, Yes on that. A plan helps you stay on track even with the distractions of parenting. When I have a plan for my day, I am confident in what I am doing, purposeful, cheerful, and in charge. I can direct my children, I can answer questions, I can give direction, and I can see when we’re getting off track.

A Routine for Parenting

Routines give your little people a little power in their own lives. They need to know what to expect, in some way, from the day ahead. They need the security of repetition and familiarity. This does not mean that you have to do the same things in the same ways all the time, every time. But it does mean that building up a certain structure of routine for, say, meal times, nap times, bath time, and bed time will result in a child who is more easily directed, calmer, and sooner able to do those routine things without constant supervision.

A Limit for Parenting

Limits for parenting apply in a couple of ways. First, limits for kids give them boundaries which help them to maintain order in their own little worlds. Giving your child too much freedom (too few limits) opens up so many possibilities that the child becomes overwhelmed. Try putting out one box of toys, or just a few art supplies, and see if it helps your little person focus and play a little bit better. Second, limits for ourselves keep us from succumbing to outside pressure to do too much, be too much, attempt too much and become stressed-out, frazzled parents. I put limits on the activities we’re involved in, the errands we run, the number of days in the week that we are not just at home, living our lives with plenty of space and order. I need those limits to help me maintain the kind of atmosphere I want our home to have.

What is your plan for order? What routines help you maintain a calm home? What limits do you lean on for yourself and for your children?