SISTER WISDOM

Know the true value of time; snatch, seize, and enjoy every moment of it. No idleness, no laziness, no procrastination: never put off till tomorrow what you can do today.

-Philip Dormer Stanhope

#1: Take Ten

Find ten minutes today to read the Bible and pray: for your husband, your marriage, your own heart.

My Pastor suggests a chapter in Psalms and a chapter in Proverbs each day. Start with the one that corresponds to today’s date and go from there.

Or choose only a verse or two to read and meditate upon. Let the Word of God sink into your heart.

Praying is simply a conversation with God. You talk and you listen. Be honest. Out loud or silent, it doesn’t matter. God can hear your heart.

#2: Write Ten.

Write down ten things you are thankful for. They don’t have to be anything to do with your husband or your marriage. Just take time to think about what you do have instead of what you don’t.

#3: Refresh.

Find 30 minutes to an hour to rest, relax, refresh, renew yourself. A short nap, a hot bath, a good book, a brisk walk, a cup of tea… whatever. Don’t make this time about the tv, the computer, or the phone, though. Unplug yourself.

#4: Get Interested.

Find something that interests, invigorates, and energizes you. Are you a reader? A writer? An artist? Do you love good music or good food? What’s an old hobby that you could resurrect? Think back to your pre-marriage days: what were your interests then? Fashion? Design? The outdoors? Exercise? It’s time to bring that interest back to life.

#5: Simplify.

Your to-do list, whether written or simply a mental list, can grow far beyond what’s wise to attempt in one day. Start simplifying and shortening it. Cut it in half, or limit yourself to 5 or 6 things to do each day. Tip: if you’re not writing stuff down, start. It clears you mentally, lets you know what you’re actually trying to get done, and keeps a record of what you’re saving to do tomorrow or next week.

#6: Soup’s On.

If possible, set the table and get dinner started before your husband gets home. If you work outside the home and won’t have time, take a few minutes to plan dinner so you don’t have to figure it out when you walk in the door after a long day. Set the table and light a couple of candles first, even if it’s you and him and the kids and it’s 5′o’clock on a weeknight.

#7: Say It.

Find a new way to say I love you. What’s your husband’s love language?

Words of Encouragement: write a note, make a card, give a compliment, hold your criticism, be positive.

Physical Touch: give a shoulder massage or a back scratch, hold hands, sit close, make out…

Quality Time: sit down and listen, give lots of eye contact, put down what distracts you, have a conversation, take part in his interests.

Gift-Giving: pick up something small (candy bar, new pen), make something (special dessert, homemade card), make it special.

Acts of Service: pick something your husband never has time to get to and do it for him (straighten his desk or dresser, organize the dvds, wash the car, change the outside light bulb).

5-Minute Marriage Check

What’s your love language? Is it the same as your husband’s or totally different?

Do you try to say I love you by speaking in your language instead of his? There’s nothing wrong with that; it’s a natural outpouring from who you are, but if the language isn’t his, you might feel rejected when you don’t get much of a response.

Do you feel like your husband never communicates love to you? Look at things from a different point of view. Is he trying to speak in ‘his language’ but feeling rejection from you when you don’t give him much of a response?

5-Minute Action Point

You’ve already done your action points (7 of them) for the day.

Think about which one(s) you might want to repeat tomorrow.

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This post is {day 19} of the Build a Better Marriage Challenge.

It’s a 30-day challenge to be deliberate about building a better marriage. We’ll talk about some of the common obstacles to a better marriage (marriage killers) and some of the important habits for a successful marriage (marriage keys). We’ll also work through some of the misconceptions that affect our marriage, faulty thinking we’ve picked up from our culture, our pasts, and maybe even from the church. Each day’s reading will end with a 5-minute marrige check and a 5-minute action point, so you can take it on home.

Join in via the Mr Linky on the challenge page. You can also just read along, but remember that all challenge participants will receive a free copy of the ebook at the end of the challenge.

Here’s to better, stronger, happier marriages!

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