Focus:
the concentration of attention or energy on something
At this moment, my two older children – Mara, 3 1/2, and Robbie, 2 – are sitting quietly looking at flashcards and books while I drink a fresh cup of coffee and type out a 30-minute blog post. I’m feeling a little triumphant because they are being obedient – still and quiet. No talking. (Robbie just sneezed but I guess that’s allowed…).
This moment is brought to you by the word FOCUS. We have lots to work on here in the Mueller household. I’m still trying to get them to say Yes Ma’am, they still whine, we have incredibly long and messy dinnertimes, we go through 3,000 rolls of toilet paper a month due to their unrolling habits, etc.
But what I’m getting to understand is that I can’t fix it all at once, and when I try, I just get so overwhelmed that I quit trying on anything. Then we really do have chaos. This last week I’ve chosen to focus on a few habits I want to build and behaviors I want to correct. One of them is having a regular quiet time every morning. The first day involved lots of correction: “No, be still. Shh. Don’t talk. Mara, don’t talk. Robbie, you can’t talk either. Look at your book. No, Robbie, stay on the rug. Mara, whispering is still talking. No, you can’t ask questions right now. Shh. Shh. Hush. Shh.” And so on.
But they started getting it. We did pretty good, had quiet time several days in a row, and then one day we were busy and I forgot. The next morning, in the middle of playtime, Mara stopped and said, “Mommy, are we going to have quiet time today?” I was kind of shocked, because it was a hopeful question. She actually enjoys this enforced quiet time? Really?
But then… I started thinking. Focus. I takes focus for me to order my days and be sure the most important things get done. At times this means leaving other things, less important things, undone. That’s difficult for me.
Imagine being three years old. Imagine all the options of play time, of a day at home. Imagine all the conflicts possible. Imagine all the decisions you have to make, and none of them are insignificant to your three-year-old brain.
It took some faith for me to focus, and to receive limits in my life as a gift from God instead of a deprivation. And that’s what this quiet time is for Mara and Robbie. It’s a deprivation, of sorts, because there are imposed limits. But it’s also a time where they are free to focus on one thing, sink into one book or small art project or simple toy, and focus their attention without the pull of other options. In learning how to focus for myself, I am giving my children the same gift that I am receiving.
Thank You, Jesus. We need some more of that good stuff around here.
What are you focused on today?
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This post is part of the
30-minute blogging challenge at Steady Mom.
“to receive limits in my life as a gift from God instead of a deprivation” – LOVE THIS!
This is such a fantastic post! I FINALLY set my goals for 2010 and one of my words for this year is FOCUS. Hmm, I wonder if God is often saying the same thing to us when He wants us to just be still and listen, “Shhh, Katie, hush. Shhh, shhh, be still….”
Oh, I loooove the gift of focus as well!
I’m trying to pass it on to my children, but I need to be more diligent about making it part of our regular routine now-a-days. It’s so true that there is choice and experience overload for young children.
With my eldest he started having “Owen time” first in his crib for 10-20 minutes, and eventually he graduated to his entire room (though a baby gate was still needed to corall him) at age 3 he could contain himself for periods of 30-45 minutes of quiet self-guided play.
We’ve added a new boy to the mix and he’s still at the crib stage of self focused play, but since these two kidlets play so well together it’s easy to just let them ‘run a muck’ and enjoy. I think there’s a time for that, to be sure, but there is value in them learning to really focus in on one activity or item at a time as well.
I’ve enjoyed my visit from Steady Mom, I’m sure I’ll be back again soon!
Cheers
I know what you mean about wanting it all to happen now. You get so excited about making a good goal and then when it doesn’t work out for whatever reason, the urge to give up is strong. I’m glad you kept going and persevering with your kids.
Great reminders this afternoon! Thanks for reminding me that with limits come freedom.
Too true… less is always more, great reminder!!! Have a good day!!!
I really like this post. It’s so easy to try to multi task all the time but it’s wonderful when I get the time to sit down and really focus on something. I just started my blog and for me that’s one thing it gives me, time to focus.