I went online to recheck the library books I have out. I got an error message saying “You cannot renew these items because you owe too much money.”
Yesterday I made a list of 11 things to do. I did two of them. (But I did also go sledding and make snow angels. I have priorities, people.)
Ironically, I’ve been working on an article called “Getting Organized for Winter.”
So I changed the article, because the article sho-nuff isn’t changing me.If it’s not working on me, it probably won’t help anybody else, so might as well do something different. Right?
Here’s the new article:
“How To Get Organized for Winter Forever”
1. Pack an overnight bag and put it in the car.
2. Drop the kids off at your sister’s (mother-in-law’s, best friend’s, insert appropriate name here).
3. Stop at the grocery store for marshmallows, chocolate, and graham crackers.
3a. Check your insurance policy.
3b. Get your credit cards. Open a few more, if possible, with high credit limits.
4. Set fire to your disorganized, clutter-laden home.*
5. Make smores while it burns. Do a happy dance. No more laundry! Ever!
6. Meet your husband and tell him you’ve arranged a romantic get-away. Go eat dinner out somewhere nice. Go stay in a four-star hotel. What the heck. Make it a five-star.
7. Use your credit cards for everything! Do a happy dance! They can send you the bill, but they can’t find you because you don’t live there! Ha HA!
8. Pick the kids up (within a week or so) and explain that life will be new, different, and exciting from now on. Mommy isn’t stressed out anymore. Mommy is happppppy. Do a little happy dance to prove it.
9. Starbucks for everyone!!!
10. Take the family to an underdeveloped tropical island/country, start a lucrative business manufacturing ponchos out of coconut shells, and live happily ever after in a tree house a la Swiss Family Robinson.
The End.
*I feel like I should have a disclaimer saying don’t really set fire to your home, just in case the sarcasm isn’t apparent to everyone. Can I be liable for this sort of thing? Would I be considered an accomplice in insurance fraud if some poor literal-minded reader really did set fire to her home? I’m feeling guilty now. I’m unsure. DON’T BURN DOWN YOUR HOUSE, WOMEN, FOR THE LOVE OF HUMANITY! IT’S A JOKE! Okay. I feel better now.
You are my hero! So well thought out. Such a wonderful ending. Love it! HA!!!
Okay, you got me! I opened this blog, seeing the title only, and got as far as the story about the library books… that was yesterday. So today I opened it again, thinking “Hey! Annie always has good ideas. Maybe she’s found a new organizing tip that will help me too!”
Instead, I got a chuckle – especially at the disclaimer at the end!
Thanks! Here’s to true organizing – the kind that involves re-prioritizing and letting go of unrealistic expectations and realizing that the magazine pictures and old TV sitcoms are FICTION!
Hope you have a great day with more sledding and snow angels and unforgettable memories!
The dusting will always be there…