Attributes of Fools
Fools:
- Despise wisdom
- Despise instruction
- Hate knowledge
- Are destroyed by prosperity
- Inherit shame
- Are clamorous
- Are simple
- Know nothing
- Weigh parents down
- Will fall
- Are near destruction
- Lie
- Hide hatred
- Utter slanders
- Listen to gossip
- Die for lack of wisdom
- Delight in mischief
- Are right in their own eyes
- Make their anger known
- Proclaim foolishness
- Bring shame
- Are destroyed
Raising Up Fools
Let’s translate that list into parenting.
When I ignore my husband, ridicule my pastor, and otherwise demean authority figures and teachers in my life, I am teaching my children to hate wisdom and instruction.
When I panic, yell, argue loudly, speak before I listen, nitpick, and quarrel, I am teaching my children to be clamorous. When I allow them to interrupt, argue, question authority rudely, and make demands, I am teaching them to be clamorous.
When I give my children silly answers to serious questions. I am raising them to be simple-minded.
When I give my children arbitrary rules with no underlying principles, I am raising them to be fools who know nothing.
When I don’t teach them how to communicate with respect, when I make excuses for them, I am turning them into children who will bring shame and weigh us, their parents, down.
When I allow temper tantrums…
When I give explanations for everything…
When I don’t set boundaries…
When I act like a fool…
I am raising fools.
That’s kind of heavy, isn’t it? Hang with me here. It gets better.
Attributes of the Wise
The Wise:
- Hear and increase learning
- Inherit glory
- Love those who rebuke them
- Gain wisdom from instruction
- Seek understanding
- Fear the Lord
- Make their parents glad
- Receive commandments
- Speak with understanding
- Listen
- Lay up knowledge
- Are people of understanding
- Receive commendation
- Hearken unto counsel
- Speak health and life
- Hear a father’s instruction
- Are well-advised
- Are prosperous
- Are on the path of life
Raising Up Wise Children
I want my children to be wise, because I want them to be prosperous. I want them to be happy. I want them to live.
The rules in our home are not arbitrary; when I enforce them, I am helping my children to see that wisdom brings a reward and foolishness brings a painful consequence. I am helping them to gain the habits of wisdom.
When I teach my children to listen without interrupting, I am giving them wisdom.
When I treat my husband with respect, when I listen with attention to my pastor, when I show respect to the authority in my life (including that State Trooper who gives me the speeding ticket…), I am teaching my children to receive commandments.
When I teach them principles of right and wrong so they understand the reason for the rules, I am helping them to become people of understanding.
When I speak with gracious words, with a kind tongue, and with a calm spirit, I am teaching them to speak health and life.
When I listen to counsel, they learn to listen to counsel.
When I insist on courtesy, they learn to show respect.
When I enforce the consequences of disobedience, they learn that foolishness hurts.
Our Position as Parents
I love being buddies with my kids. I love coloring pictures with Mara, ticking Robbie till he can’t stop laughing, playing peekaboo with Zeke. I love listening to their stories, getting in on their jokes, snuggling on the couch, reading books together, watching funny movies, conquering our backyard.
But that friendship isn’t my primary goal as a parent. My job as a parent is to train them up in the way they should go. That means sometimes they don’t want to be my buddy.
Let’s go over that again: being a good parent means that sometimes you won’t be a fun friend.
And you know what? That’s okay. I love them enough to give up a few moments of being buddies today in order to ensure that they will choose to be wise, choose to receive instruction, choose to fear the Lord, choose to seek knowledge, choose to walk the path of life.
“Screaming Kid” photo courtesy of dariuszka; other images are my own.