SISTER WISDOM : build a better life

Notes from a sermon by Dr. David Bailey titled How To Deal With Difficult People:

1. Don't expect the person to change.
2. Avoid retaliation.Don't take get-even actions and words. Go the opposite direction: turn the other cheek. Turn negative energy into positive outward response.
3. Love, which means a. do good to (Luke 6:27) and b. bless (speak well of them). Jesus defines love not as an emotion but as action. Not "feel good" but "do good." No matter how many true but negative things you know and could say, choose to bless instead. Step into the maturity of God's relationships.
4. Pray. Prayer comes not first, but last in the sequence. Accept first, let go of vengeance first, love first; then pray. It's important to keep that in mind.

So, I'm sitting there listening and I realize I don't know very many truly difficult people. Dr. Bailey defined a "difficult person" for us: someone who is emotionally unresponsive, self-centered, uncommunicative, blind to their faults, critical... I can think of one or two people who really fit that description, and none that I have to see regularly. Sure, there are lots of us who have some of those traits. Everybody is difficult sometimes.

I was tempted to tune out. Don't know any difficult people, don't need to know what to do with them, right? But then Dr. Bailey started talking about how to deal with these difficult people, and it hit me that these 4 little steps are what we women need. It's a manual on marriage. It's how we should treat our husbands.

Some of them are difficult people, certifiably so. Some of us are. But even if he's a great guy and you're a great gal, employing Step #1 alone would save most of the offenses and arguments that sneak up. If that didn't do it, Step #2 almost certainly would, and Step #3 would cover any loose ends. But we spiritual women-folks, we like to skip to Step #4. Especially if we can involve a friend or two for group prayer.

Silly women. Love first, pray later. Say it with me now. Love first, pray later.

Look, I can call you silly because I'm a woman too. Young, sure. Immature, sure. Full of myself, sure. Don't kill the messenger, ladies. Quit praying for your husband to shape up and be a better man, and start loving him and being a better woman. It's not that difficult (okay, I know sometimes that being nice is akin to ripping your heart from your chest, but do it anyway).

5 Minute Action Point:

Start applying the 4 difficult-people principles. Focus on accepting, not retaliating, and showing love in action by doing something nice. Here are five things you could do today that would be nice:
1. Give him a sweet kiss.
2. Ask him for one thing to do that would help him out today, then do it.
3. Be quiet. Yes, that's an official nice thing.
4. Thank him for something.
5. Cook him something he loves to eat.

None of that is so difficult, is it?

Image courtesy of Theodore99.