This is the kind of thing I would call my Mom about, if I could.
The first year after Mom died we had lots of one-way conversations, usually when I was driving somewhere. I could go on and on, just telling her about my life, my frustrations, how much I missed her, what-should-I-do-about-XYZ-random-situation, until I looked over and saw some other driver eyeballing me. I would hold up my cell phone, quick, like, “Oh, yeah, I’ve just been talking in my phone the whole time but forget to hold it up to my ear! Silly me!”
So here’s how we’re gonna work this. Since actual phone time with my Mama is impossible, this blog gets to be the site of my imaginary conversation with her. And you can listen in. Hey, you can even join in if you want…
Annie: Hi Mom. Mom: Hi honey! How are you today? A: Good, good, just hanging with the kiddos, trying to get a little work done in between the diapers. Mara has been so whiney and I’m just kind of eeeecccchh with it at this point. What are you up to? M: …
Oh forget it. I can’t do an imaginary Mom. Did I mention those conversations after she died were one-way? I talked “to Mom” but I didn’t try to answer back for her. Let’s work this a different way.
Here’s what I want to call and tell Mom:
Hi, Mom. I love you. I miss you. I’m having a wonderful time raising these three beautiful children but I’m in need of a boot in the butt, so to speak. You were always great with those boot-in-the-butt motivational speeches, especially the quoting Proverbs part. You passed that whole Proverbs thing on to me, you know? I remember how you highlighted all those verse in pink since you had daughters. Anyway. So I read from Proverbs daily, and I’ve learned a lot, but Mom I am just weak in the application! Mara has way too much verbal freedom going on: she won’t answer me when I call her or say Yes Ma’am unless I prompt her, repeatedly, with a very threatening look on my face. She argues. She’s only two and she’s arguing with me! (Okay, almost three.) Robbie whines every time I correct him, and if I spank him for whining he just whines more. Zeke… well, Zeke is the easiest one at this point and he requires feeding every three hours! He is sleeping about 8 hours every night now, so that’s been really good.
So I don’t know what I’m asking, Mom, just some advice, I guess, or a few reminders of why I need to stick to this whole “train up a child” deal and maybe you could throw in a guarantee or two that it will, in the end, pay off huge dividends and my kids will turn out great and I’ll sit back and say, “Hey, the prayer and tears and instruction and spankings and correction and training and time and energy were worth it! My kids are AWESOME now! I’m so glad I hung in there!”
I would like to be able to say that one day, and I know (comparatively speaking) my kids are pretty good, really, but I just feel like I am beating my head against a wall on some of these issues and then I remember that Mara’s not even three years old yet! How will I survive? How can I keep up? How do I keep moving ahead? What if I mess these kids up?
Okay. Deep breath. I guess that’s it, really. Every time I pray for wisdom, God provides. I just wish he would provide a slightly larger dose. It’s like getting a teaspoon of water when you are desperately thirsty. And yeah, Mom, I know you would say that God knows how much wisdom I need, and that I need to trust Him and just keep asking and keep seeking, and I am. I’m gonna go read some more from Proverbs now. Any other wisdom you could share would be great.
I really am done, now, and any wisdom anyone wants to share would be great. Can I get some Mom-help here?
Photo credit:
Marinela, stock.xchng.
OK well…. You should continue just what you are doing,because you are a patient, loving Mother and raising children doesn’t come with an instruction manual. It’s a day to day process and you love them, instill good values and teach them right from wrong and even though there are days when you think everything is going in one ear and out the other, you will turn around and they are grown and you will here your love and words flowing from their mouths when they are raising their own children…Love ya!!!
Hey Annie,
I can’t say I know exactly how you feel because I don’t have any kids of my own. I DO know what it’s like to go through your adult life without having Mom alongside.
Anyways, when I am having trouble with a student who has made a habit out of driving me nuts, it helps to remember that God gave me this student for a reason. God will also equip me with what I need to point that student to Christ.
Sometimes the student leaves my class, and I wonder if I made any impact on his or her spiritual life. I have to remind myself that, perhaps, the spiritual seed has not yet pushed through the soil. In addition, it is God who works in a child’s soul. We are blessed to be His instruments. Our only concern is to glorify Him by obeying Him fully and enjoying His presence in our lives.
On a last note, God has commanded us to pray at all times with all kinds of prayers and requests. What a beautiful mandate! We can come to God with every desire that conveys our longing to trust Him wholly and obey Him fully.
I’m still in the trenches with my 3 kids, but I will say that the age of 4 1/2 has been magical for us. I thought I was raising a deaf, defiant and eventually delinquent son at the age of 3. My words definitely went in one ear and out the other and he argued nonstop with me over everything. Now, it has all changed. It is apparent to me now that I did a good job of laying down the law during those early years, because he just responds appropriately now. Today, he banged one of his sisters beaded necklaces against the fridge and the beads went everywhere (I don’t think he knew that would happen). I looked at him and told him that he had to clean it up before we left and he calmly walked over to where I keep the children’s dustpan and picked it up and cleaned every bit of the mess up without a hassle.
So sorry to hear about your mom. I rely upon my mom a lot. I hope you have a good mother-in-law or an older friend to mull things over. I frequently have tea with one of my mother’s friends to get a different perspective.
My other advice that I tell myself when I’m feeling bogged down with too many responsibilities is this: when my kids look back they won’t remember the cleanliness of the house, or whether their laundry was always put away or whether the dishes were done, but they will remember having lots of fun with mom.
I hope this helps. You’re doing an amazing job. I love to read your blog–it’s my favorite.