Jun 18, 2009
How You Can Disprove the Bible
It's an ongoing endeavor for a lot of people, like all the nice folks who have written these books (even an encyclopedia) in the attempt:
- 101 Myths of the Bible: How Ancient Scribes Invented Biblical History
- Two Thousand Bible Errors in the Old Testament
- The Encyclopedia of Biblical Errancy
But no one's been quite definitive enough to settle it once and for all. People are still reading this book, finding (apparently) helpful ideas, and writing more articles and books which actually support the Bible. This as recently as last year (can you believe it?):
- The Stones Cry Out: What Archaeology Reveals About the Truth of the Bible
- Scientific Facts in the Bible: 100 Reasons to Believe the Bible is Supernatural in Origin
- Is the Bible True? How Modern Debates and Discoveries Affirm the Essence of the Scriptures
The controversy.
The contention.
We are divided. We are stuck. But you, my friend, can settle it all. There are two simple requirements:
- You must be a woman.
- You must be (or get) married.
For most of us, that will be enough. All that's needed next is to just, um, act natural. That's it. You can unequivocably disprove the Bible's purported inerrancy as easy as 1 2 3. For a very few others, your tendency toward being unselfish and good (Good? What does that mean? It's all up in the air once you disprove the Bible!) will hinder your efforts. We can easily fix that with a few simple character changes: a little less goodness, a little more nagging, moaning, whining, and resentment, a few more mood swings and unreasonable demands, a dash of unrealistic expectations and you've got it.
Bible disproved. Veracity denied. Inerrancy shattered.
How? Well, if you can disprove one "truth" from this "holy" book, you've brought the whole thing into question. And you, as a married woman, can just take Proverbs 18:22 down to the ground. It's almost too easy. See?
"He who finds a wife finds a good thing..."
Well, honey, what are you waiting for? Just keep doing those things you do. Feminists everywhere will thank you. Atheists will applaud. Moral codes will crumble into oblivion, and the freedom of relativism will reign unencumbered by these pesky, outmoded, "right and wrong" debates.
The way for a new civilization - one free, finally free, to revel in its anarchy - will be laid by your own two feminine hands. (After you're done, of course, you can remove that silly wedding ring. You won't need that kind of hearkening back to Bible traditions anymore.) Your ladylike voice, raised in a continual barrage of contentious words, will turn that whole "wife" = "good thing" on its head.
Oh, yes, by the way: if you're one of those women from the "Bible-is-true" camp, you might want to be careful. If you're married and not watching your attitude, you might (unintentionally, of course) secure the destruction of your entire faith system. Heavy. And you thought Eve had it bad.
