SISTER WISDOM

Put this in the “things I still don’t understand” column…

Who wouldn't want to be this cool?

I don’t drink alcohol. I like it, fine, as far as taste goes (what little experience I’ve had with it). That’s partially why I don’t drink. I think I would like it too much. Another reason is because I can’t afford it. It’s also not good for me, so why pick up a habit that isn’t healthy when I’m working to get rid of bad habits I already have? (I haven’t had a soda in three weeks.)
People in my current age group (mid late-twenties) and lifestyle (parents of young children) don’t really make such a big deal out of drinking. You do, you don’t, whatever, who cares, let’s all just get along. In college, however, drinking seemed to be the very definition of who you are. You don’t drink? followed by incredulous look. It was as if I’d just said something like, “Oh, I don’t bathe.”
But the best part was what came after the incredulous look. It was inevitable.
“You don’t drink?”
Incredulous look.
“What do you do for fun?”

This is the point when the conversations became surreal to me. Then I wasn’t nearly so confident and witty uninhibited, so I usually just muttered something about… “Oh, I have fun with my friends, hang out…you know…” and looked for a less alcohol-infatuated person to talk to. Now that I’ve had time to reflect, though, I realize the absurdity of the question, premise being that the only way to have fun is to sit around and drink some sort of beverage.

Wow.
What a fun, fun life.
Sure hate I’m missing out on all that fun.
Woohoo.
Maybe I’m being too simplistic about the whole thing. I’ve never been drunk, myself. Perhaps I should try it and discover a whole new level of fun. Back in college I hadn’t had much experience with drunk people, either (unless you count the homeless guy who wandered around Starkville doing James Brown impersonations in hopes of a hand-out). But now, well, I’ve had plenty of experience with drunk people. Not lots, but enough to know this:
whatever drunk may be, FUN is not it. Stupid? Slaphappy? Depressing? Violent? Weepy? Ignorant? Carefree? Annoying? Loud?  Could be any of those. At its best, though, it doesn’t come close to my idea of fun. Maybe my standards are too high. Maybe if I’d taken up drinking at the tender age of 16 or so, as most of my college colleagues must have, then I, too, would have killed enough brain cells by my 20th year of life to consider the imbibing of an alcoholic substance and its subsequent mental effects to be the epitome of fun.
But I didn’t.
So if that’s fun, please excuse me from contributing to the collective pool of fun-ness. We’re just fresh out, here.

Image courtesy of guy-with-really-long-flickr-account-name. (Why do people do that?)