SISTER WISDOM

Part 1 of the series: “The Get Your Life Together Plan”

Image courtesy of alicepopkorn.

Find out why it matters.

When I need help being consistent, say, with exercise or cutting out soda or eating more salads, I do research. I hope from site to site, reading up on fitness routines, muscle tone, great-looking salad ideas.

And nothing changes.

Then, as I walk the mall, dodging weed-thin teenagers and power-walking Mommies in velour sweats, I catch my own reflection. Sharp gasp (my own). Look of horror (my own). That’s not me: that’s some 30-ish woman who has a mummy tummy and flabby arms and doesn’t make that cute shirt look so cute.

I dump my soda in the nearest trash can, go home, and have a big salad for dinner. The next day I take a three-mile walk.

Change comes when it matters to me.

Image courtesy of apesura.

Call me shallow, but abstract health claims don’t grab my attention the way a glimpse of my own cellulite does. When it comes to making healthy lifestyle changes, my own image is my sticking point.

Should doesn’t matter.

Maybe I should be concerned about heart disease, diabetes, healthy muscles, strong bones. What actually does concern me is much simpler: having a double chin. Being able to button my pants. Having energy. When I get unmotivated, health research doesn’t help. A long look in the mirror does.

Put aside your idea of what you should motivate you. Motivation doesn’t matter unless it connects to your heart. If you don’t know why getting your life together matters, you won’t continue the process. Following any regime for the sake of regime alone is demoralizing and, ultimately, unproductive.

Find your sticking point.

So you probably already know what frustrates you most about your home, daily work, family, and lifestyle. Maybe it’s the clutter. The paperwork. The lack of communication. The lack of sleep. Let that sit for a minute and focus on something else:

What is the ideal?

Image courtesy of geishaboy500.

Picture an ideal space at home. Just one. The perfect, clean kitchen? The perfect work area? An ideal corner of the bedroom?
Picture an ideal moment from your workday or weekend. The moment you snuggle into bed for the night? The cuddles with your children? A hug from your spouse? A quiet moment with a cup of coffee?

Those pictures could be real or existing only in your imagination. Move through several mental pictures until your soup jumps a little at the idea of one particular, serene place or moment. Hold that.

What if you could create and multiply that feeling every day?

Changes that stick come around when you find something worth changing for. Frustration isn’t enough. You need an ideal.

When I try on clothes that don’t fit, frustration is only one half of the experience. The other half is the mental image I have of how good I could look. If I didn’t have the ideal, then the reality wouldn’t frustrate me so. There would be no disparity between what I have (or am) and what I want (or want to be). It’s the disparity that displeases.

Focus on the ideal.

Quit focusing on the negative side of that disparity and hold onto the ideal. Write it, draw it, collage it, meditate on it, blog about it, picture it. Let the images saturate your mind, and you’ll not only see clearly what you must change, you’ll also find the energy to make the changes, and make them last.