{from 11 April 2009} I am getting the hang of this, I think. It’s much easier to go from 2 to 3 than from 1 to 2. I am moving slowly today; not much sleep last night. I need to work on keeping Zeke awake a bit more during the day so we can have a better night tonight. Hey, he’s got a lot to figure out for only having been here 4 days. He’s doing good.
Tomorrow is Easter Sunday, and apart from being tired I feel good enough to go. I’m sure we could manage to get there, maybe even participate on the worship team, but I don’t think we should. When Robbie was born I didn’t miss a Sunday on stage. Okay, that’s great, pat myself on the back. I think I was trying to prove something.
With Zeke, I’m really over proving anything to anyone. I want to take advantage of this time when we are excused from taking part. I want feed my baby, snuggle with my husband, rest in our bed, play with our children, and have a relaxing morning with no obligations.
Ironic how not restful Sundays often are. I enjoy them, but for many people they are work more than rest. I love our church, I love participating, I love the worship, I love the people; but it is a busy and somewhat complicated time of coordinating church responsibilities and parenting responsibilities. I don’t feel like I can really enter into rest until Sunday lunch is over.
I’d like to think about how to change that. Actually - I need to think about how to change a lot of things. I can feel the introspection coming on.
Time to plan. I love planning. I’m weak in the application. Right now, though, I’m excused from the application so I’m taking advantage of the time to think, sort, plan. And I want to be thorough, gain strength, and then start sticking tot he plan. That’s how I see progress. A little progress encourages and produces more of the same.