1. Figure out why it matters.
Everybody complains, but very few people do anything about their complaints. It’s as if most of us enjoy complaining… Hmmm. Do we?
Sometimes the solutions are so obvious and simple that it’s all I can do to keep my mouth shut. I want to point out the path for everybody’s personal growth: “Well, you just need to…” That’s not the problem, however. 9 times out of 10, we know exactly what we need to do to solve our problems. What we don’t take time to figure out, however, is how much it matters. The little things that we complain about today seem like little things; we don’t see how they turn into big consequences over time.
- If I don’t start exercising and I keep gaining ten pounds a year, then in five years I will be more than 50 pounds overweight. That’s not who I want to be in 5 years, so I need to make changes today.
- If I sleep in everyday and don’t meet my work and income goals, then in five years I will be more in debt than I am now, and working on an even tighter budget.
I don’t want to move backward; I want to move forward. Forward motion only happens with effort, so I have to make those choices, be self-disciplined, and make the forward motion happen. Otherwise the things that are irritating now will become the things that ruin my life in a few more years.
So why does it matter for you? Fast forward the current effects of your lifestyle five or ten years. The minor irritations will become magnified as they continue. The consequences will pile up. Figure out why improving your life now matters for the life you will live in the future.
2. Make a plan and stick to it.
You’ll never get the perfect plan, so quit worrying about the little details and just take action. I am so bad about planning and replanning and scheduling and organizing and then totally failing on the follow-through. But the following through is what gets me to the goal. My plan may not be perfect, but if followed, I will at least be making some kind of progress. There are always opportunities to adjust as we go along, but first we have to start going!
Excuses and procrastination will simply leave you in a rut. How many ‘if only’ phrases creep into your plans for a better life? Quit looking at what is hindering you and start figuring out how you can reach your goals in spite of the obstacles.
There will always be obstacles. That’s why reaching your goals is difficult! Figure out some way, anyway, to move forward in spite of discouraging circumstances, tight budgets, not enough time, lack of energy, poor health, family problems, whatever. You have to decide that building a better life is possible no matter what else is going on.
Women second guess themselves into failure many times. I don’t know if this is a uniquely female trait (it seems to have a hold on our gender) or if it has more to do with personality, but the result is that we sabotage our own personal growth. Don’t let doubt and excuses hold you down. Make a plan, however imperfect, and start acting on it.
3. Expect the best from yourself.
If we are going to move forward, we need to remember that ‘personal’ word in personal growth. Improving your life begins with you first deciding that you are capable of living the life you desire. You want to write and publish books? Do you expect from yourself the type of behavior and self-discipline necessary to acheive those goals? Or do you allow laziness to define you, excuse your sporadic writing habits, and still expect to succeed?
Take a close look at the daily habits necessary to move you from Point A (your life now) to Point B (your life as you dream it). What does it require of you? What choices does that person at Point B make every day that enable her to live that dream life? Begin making those same choices in your life now and you will end up there. Keep on living like you are, as the person who makes the choices that result in Point A, and that’s where you’ll stay.
Figure out what is required, and then start expecting that from yourself. You are capable of far more than you have acknowledged in the past. Start acknowledging. This isn’t about being boastful or putting others down. It is about choosing to be the best person you can be and making your life reflect fit that person.
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Image courtesy of headexplodie.