SISTER WISDOM

Principle: Self-justification does not change right and wrong.

…as much as we would like it too. You know those moments in an otherwise gleamingly happy marriage when you start reviewing all the stupid things he has done/said/thought in the last two years? (Yes, thought. You do that, too, don’t you?) It’s usually the end of a long day, or a long week. You’re tired. You’re grumpy. He’s insensitive. He’s rushed. He’s not paying attention. He never helps. He doesn’t even notice. He doesn’t even care. He says something thoughtless.

And you are justified to remain in your grumpy mood, throw out a good helping of the silent treatment, sprinkle it with a few icy glares, accent with a roll of the eyes and a huffy little sigh that says, “I put up with so much.” He starts to notice, doesn’t he?

Soon you can move a step forward to the throwing of insults cleverly disguised as jokes. He does it, so you do too. It’s just self-defense. It all started with a tiny bit of self-justification.

Self-justification always brings forward the worst version of yourself. Maybe you did just endure storms, stress, an empty wallet, sick children, fire-breathing dragons. Whatever. It was bad, wasn’t it? So bad that it seems perfectly fine to react with a little more bad. Add it to the pile. What does it matter?

It matters because adding bad behavior to a bad experience doesn’t change the quality of either. Bad is still bad; you’ve just exacerbated it. Adding your bad attitude to his bad response to your bad day won’t help. There you are, stuck in the badlands.

Get out now.

Adding good behavior to a bad experience may not change the quality of the experience, but it sure will help your next experience to go better. Make a joke that is really a joke, and laugh together. Split a candy bar and tell him he has to take all the fat grams, but you’ll help him work them off. Then go help him.

Bad days are. They come. They end. Don’t drag them out. Be better than that.

All the ways of a man are clean in his own sight, But the LORD weighs the motives. Proverbs 16:2

Challenge Update: Progress

The monthly challenge includes these components:

1. Set priorities
2. Set a schedule
3. Simplify maintenance
4. Set routines
5. Choose/do projects
6. Choose/complete goals

I’ve set three priorities for this and next month:

1) Exercise, 2) Follow a regular writing schedule, and 3) Complete some house projects.

My basic schedule (which I’ve been following fairly well except for the getting up part) looks like this:

Evenings vary. Afternoons vary sometimes: today I have a babysitter from 1:30 on, so I will be spending the afternoon out, sitting in a coffee shop with my laptop, making great strides forward on some life-changing project. Or something like that.

Now I’m moving toward simplifying maintenance. I need to do four things to make that happen:

1) clean up the clutter spots (there are several); 2) clean out linen closet and set up cleaning supplies; 3) put up hooks for brooms, mops, etc.; and 4) put some big, sturdy, industrial-style rugs by all the outside doors.

What remains to be done

I still need to set up routines; I do some things by routine, already, like get breakfast and sweep the kitchen floor. But there are other things that go too long and become more of a job than they should. Like cleaning the bathroom. Ick.

Onward and upward. I did get up early this morning! Progress!

Pasta with Mushrooms, Tomatoes, and Creamy Herb Sauce

This is what we had for dinner last night. It was so easy to make. I had pre-sliced small portabella mushrooms, so the only chopping I had to do was tomatoes and the basil and parsley. The pasta cooked while I chopped, then it was another fifteen minutes or so and we were eating warm, savory pasta. Click here for the full recipe with photos.