Proverbs 9:13: A foolish woman is clamorous. She is simple and knows nothing.
Clamorous: “to make a loud sound like Engl. hum); by implication, to be in great commotion or tumult, to rage, war, moan, clamor” from Scripture Text.
What does clamorous look like? In a clamorous wife, this is what you’ll see:
- A woman who continually questions direct authority (her husband), often by appealing to a different (or what she considers “higher”) authority)
- A woman who refuses to let her husband make decisions (big or small) with giving her input
- A woman who gets offended if her husband dares to make a decision without getting her input first
- A woman who knows that her way is the (only) right way. She may not say it out loud, but inwardly she is critical of other’s different methods (especially her husband’s)
- A woman who is not content to be quiet and just see what happens
- A woman who is not willing to let a mistake go unnoticed and/or unpunished
- A woman who is quick to notice her husband’s faults, weaknesses, immature habits, vices, and “lack of spirituality”
- A woman who uses the intimate knowledge of her husband’s imperfections to justify her own usurption of his authority
- A woman who nags
- A woman who nitpicks about details
- A woman who makes everything a big deal
- A woman who remembers mistakes
You might immediately recognize yourself or someone you know in that description, but those qualities are a bit abstract. Here’s a more specific version of what a clamorous wife might look like:
- She says, “I don’t care,” when he asks her which restaurant she prefers, but she gets offended when he picks barbecue instead of Italian. He should so know better.
- She snaps at him on the phone at least once a day.
- She corrects him when he corrects the children and rolls her eyes when he serves them cold hot dogs and chips for dinner.
- She tells him how to drive.
- She is pretty darn good at the silent treatment.
- She is waiting for him to grow up. Everything will be fine then.
- She asks the women in her Bible Study to pray that her husband will begin having “regular time with the Lord.”
- She thinks his jokes are stupid, and he can tell.
- She has pretty strict “rules” about when, where, and how sex is acceptable. She has never voiced them, but she doesn’t need to. He knows. He sighs and accepts it.
- When her husband is busy, worried, distracted, or late getting home, she believes he is acting that way purposely just to hurt her feelings.
- A wrong turn is a big deal. Being ten minutes late is a big deal. A one-day-late birthday gift is a big deal. Having to remind him of their anniversary is a big deal. Overcooked steak is a big deal. Having to work an hour late is a big deal. Everything she doesn’t like a little bit is a big deal.
Gulp.
You, too?
Hmm.
Let’s go make some cookies for our men who put up with us when we decide to be clamorous women. When they call at lunchtime, let’s answer the phone with a great attitude and tell them how happy we are to be their wives. When they get home a little late from work, let’s greet them with a long kiss, a cold drink, and the smell of a great dinner simmering in the kitchen. When they put the kids to bed “the wrong way,” let’s shut up and see how the kids enjoy something different.