SISTER WISDOM

Courtship isn’t just that time, pre-marriage, when we spend lots of money on flowers and little stuffed animals and cell phone bills. Courtship is any kind of conscious behavior that displays affection, attentiveness, and attraction toward the one you love. The amazing thing about courtship is that it also tends to produce affection, attentiveness, and attraction from the one you love toward you. That’s what we call a mutually beneficial arrangement.

If you’ve tossed the idea of courtship out as too old-fashioned for your modern dating philosophy or too demeaning for your tolerant mindset or too much work for your stuck-in-a-rut relationship, stop and think. Any successful romantic relationship requires affection, attention, and attraction.The behavior of courtship is the ideal way to demonstrate those traits, whether you are winning a new love or reaffirming an older one.

21 Ideas for HER to court HIM

1. Send him postcards every day for a week, each telling him a different trait you admire about him.
2. Buy him some great love songs (that he will like) for his mp3 player.
3. Get his car washed.
4. Pick him up at work for a surprise date.
5. Bake him some cookies.
6. Ask about his favorite childhood memories.
7. Get him a magazine subscription in an area he’s interested in.
8. Learn about his hobby: read up on some aspect of it, go to an event about it with him.
9. Let him pick the movie. No critiques while you watch.
10. Don’t take phone calls or text messages while you’re on a date with him! R E S P E C T.
11. Ask for his advice about a particular problem, then take it.
12. Write an encouraging email and send it.
13. Brag about him. Bonus points if he can overhear you or it gets back around to him. Be sincere, though, and don’t embarrass him. Sometimes a little goes a long way.
14. Give him a framed photo of the two of you, or of him and his best friend, or of him and his family.
15. Order new, custom business cards for him. Make sure they are his style, not yours.
16. Stock him up on gum, mints, etc.
17. When you see or talk to him at the day’s end, hold your tongue for a little while, ask questions about his day, and listen to his answers.
18. Seek out and share jokes you know he will find funny.
19. Take him out to dinner.
20. Wear his favorite color.
21. Hide something he likes in the refrigerator for him to find later.

21 Ideas for HIM to Court HER

1. Special order M & Ms in her favorite color.
2. Buy her some great love songs (that she will like) for her mp3 player.
3. Get the oil changed in her car.
4. Give her a foot massage.
5. Carve your initials in a branch or tree (or write them in the sand), take a picture and give it to her.
6. Get her a Starbucks gift card ($5 or $10 will do it.)
7. Buy her the newest issue of her favorite magazine and a bottle of really nice bubble bath.
8. Ask about her Mom/Sister/Best Friend, then listen to the answer.
9. Let her pick the movie. No critiques while viewing.
10. Don’t take phone calls or text messages while you’re on a date with her! R E S P E C T.
11. Ask what she thinks about a decision you’re making, listen, and implement her advice.
12. Brag about her. Bonus points if she can overhear you or it gets back around to her. Be sincere, though, and don’t embarrass her. Sometimes a little goes a long way.
13. Order new business cards for her. Make sure they are her style, not yours.
14. Go shopping with her for something she loves.
15. Drop off a big bottle of cold water and some fresh fruit during her lunch break.
16. Keep a short journal (just a sentence or two each day) on your computer and email it to her at the end of the week.
17. Hold her hand when you’re out together.
18. Open the door for her, always.
19. Carry her bags/packages, even if they’re not heavy.
20. Offer to help, even if she doesn’t need it.
21. Wear her favorite cologne.