Self-respect is the fruit of discipline; the sense of dignity grows with the ability to say no to oneself. Rabbi Abraham Heschel ( source) Update (Tuesday): 35 minutes cardio (walking).

I find myself continually missing the stretch/tone part of this exercise challenge. Let me rephrase. I continually choose to neglect the stretch/tone part of this exercise challenge.

See how easy it is to make yourself a victim?

Discipline. We have misconceptions about discipline. We perceive it negatively, as connoting deprivation, pain, denial. Things we do not like and never desire. Like a root canal.

You probably don’t like going to see the dentist. (Unless, perchance, you are married to a dentist.) So you brush your teeth, floss, use mouthwash, chew gum. This is discipline, the instructive side.

If you didn’t instruct yourself (teeth need to be cleaned, flossing is good, plaque is bad), equip yourself (toothbrush, toothpaste, mouthwash), and apply yourself, you might end up with a cavity. Maybe even a root canal. Lots of wasted time, discomfort, pain, and a nice chunk of money. That’s the corrective side of discipline.

To discipline means to train. To be a disciple is to be one who learns, one who is trained. The nature of teeth, of sugar, and of tooth decay trains me in the right way to care for my teeth so I don’t lose them. I can foresee the possible consequences of neglect and prevent them; or I can blithely ignore them and endure the results.

Wisdom is looking ahead, getting instruction, equipping yourself to follow the instruction, and applying it to avoid negative consequences before they occur. Wisdom is brushing your teeth.

It’s not all about avoiding bad stuff. To stretch our example to the limit: brushing my teeth gives me fresh, minty breath, and healthy gums, and strong, clean teeth, and the ability to masticate unhindered. Somehow, though, the avoidance of what is bad motivates us more than the existence of what is good. We take what we already have for granted. It often takes a consequence, a loss, pain, before we recognize value. We may be able to recover and regain what we’ve lost, and go on wiser. Sometimes we can’t.

The universe conspires to discipline us toward life. Examples in nature, plants, animals show us simple principles to apply. Corrective consequences show us what not to do. Don’t touch the hot stove; you’ll get burned. Don’t date the bad man; you’ll get burned.

Successful lives and relationships, peaceful countries, prosperous years: they are instructors. As are personal failures, wars, poverty. The demonstrated consequences of ignoring principles of life should be enough. They are, if we choose to listen. If not, we will experience our own failure and war and poverty.

It’s far better to take advantage of that instructive side of discipline. We can be proactive. We can stop many negative consequences from touching our lives. We can bring good things in by the choices we make in heeding and applying the instruction. We can be disciplined before we are disciplined.

Resources: Read some more quotations on discipline. Write a few down and post them on your bathroom mirror, your refrigerator, by your computer, in your car.

Read what the Bible has to say about discipline. A great practice is reading from the book of Proverbs daily. If a chapter is too much, try a verse. Or go here for a verse-by-verse explanation of the Proverbs or to search the proverbs topically.

Tip: When you read a quote or a proverb that specifically addresses something in your life that you know you need to change, take a few minutes and memorize the line. Review it daily. It doesn’t take long. You could always do that while you’re brushing your teeth…

“A Christian, who realizes he has been made in the image of the Creator and is therefore meant to be creative on a finite level, should certainly have more understanding of his responsibility to treat God’s creation with sensitivity…” Edith Schaeffer, The Hidden Art of Homemaking

In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth and all they contain. Then He planted a garden. Then He put man and woman into the garden and gave them a simple command: Take care of it. Multiply, be fruitful, have dominion, care for and cultivate this space. How much time passed before that man and woman failed to respect the one boundary He set? The garden was closed, the earth changed, but the commandment of stewardship was not removed. As they failed to respect the boundary, we have failed to respect the mandate for stewardship.

Christians, oh, poor, foolish, sad, pathetic misers of Creativity! We tithe our churches faithfully, making contributions so we can build huge, ornate buildings for “church meetings.” Then we use chemicals which poison our homes and waters; we create an amount of waste so great it cannot be consumed quickly enough by the natural processes of entropy and decay. What good are our beautiful church buildings when we have ravaged and destroyed the earth on which they stand?

What will the great Artist say of our treatment of this, His work? What will we say when He asks us? Was it really more important to eat fast food, watch tv, buy cheap toys, look like our neighbors, have a bigger car, have more stuff than to take care of what He made? It wasn’t worth it? It wasn’t good enough to cherish? What will we say?

Now we enter a new time in our history. Our neglect left the steward-care of God’s earth open for anyone’s dominion. So others who cared, not necessarily for God but for beauty and health, have become the voices of care for the earth. Many of them lack the understanding of dominion: dominion over the earth, but dominion under God, a position which provides the balance necessary to appreciate the earth without worshipping it. The mandate we ignored has been taken over by those who know only the art and not the Artist. They recognize the beauty and value we have despised. We are the guilty ones. While claiming to worship the Creator we have destroyed His creation: the dirt, the grass, the birds, the rivers, the small things and the great things.

Our right to govern the earth-garden is given to another, taken over by those who have chosen to see the consequences of mistreatment. They will not do things as we would. Their perspective is not like ours. When there is a conflict in their mission (as there inevitably will be) between what is good for the earth and what is good for humanity, they will not know which to choose. We do. We are not afraid to recognize our human selves as the peak of God’s creativity on the earth.

They will sometimes choose earth over humanity. They will limit liberties we consider inalienable. We will squirm and scream because of our personal discomfort. We will cry out against tyranny by the earth-worshippers. It is by our own doing that others wield the influence we once had. Because of our apathy, the care and stewardship of the earth-garden will not be the expression of created man enjoying and appreciating his Creator’s work. It will become instead a duty of preservation casting a shadow of fear. It will be a tool, this fear, to usher in many laws and economic regulations which will, in turn, further chagne government from a tool for the people to a controlling hand over the people.

What do we do, then? Denounce efforts to save the environment? Protest at Earth Day rallies? Try to prove global warming is a myth? Global warming isn’t the problem, Church Members. The problem is that for decade upon decade we have used resources without regard for replenishment. We have consumed without creating.

Our written instruction tells us to do all things decently and in order. We have not been decent and orderly in how we have used and lived upon the earth-garden. What an insult to its Maker! What guilt upon our hearts! If we have utterly failed in so basic a responsibility, how is it that we can attempt anything greater? But we do. We ignore our other instructions: First plant your fields, then build your house.

We skipped the fields: putting in place decent and orderly systems for our continued life on this earth. We skipped to the house, or rather, to the new fellowship hall, to the church bus, to the summer camp, to a hundred and one programs that have had negligible effect on our sin-immersed culture.

Now our culture sees us for what we have become: isolated, out-of-touch, out-of-control, unwilling to change, entrenched in tradition, dogmatic, intolerant, and completely unconcerned with the very first instruction given to us by God. Because of our apathy and legalism, the stewardship mandate given to us by God has become something that concerns those who, largely, deny God’s existence. We have forced it to become a battle. Now we, the ones who should be most concerned withcaring for this enormous, irreplaceable piece of art on which we live, mock, ridicule, and scorn those attempting to care for it.

O Christian, O little disciple! Quit concerning yourself with proving that you are on the right side and simply admit that you, like all of us, have been wrong. In ignorance, perhaps, for a while; but that time has passed. We have done what the prophet said of Israel, taking our new wine and oil, gifts of our Maker, and giving them to other lovers. He gave us the earth, the renewable, sustainable, rich-with-resources earth, and we took the materials, abused the methods of production, and used them to feed our other lovers: money, powers, comfort, ease, security.

The problem is not with a green agenda, real or imagined. The problem is not that the media exaggerates the issues. The problem is not with liberal motives or New Age beliefs. The problem is with us, Christian.

We need to change. We need to repent. We need to come with broken hearts before our God and admit that we have failed to serve Him well. We have spent our time accumulating instead of appreciating. We have failed to trust God to provide for us, and in fear have used any means needed to hoard treasures. We have served ourselves instead of our God. We have isolated ourselves instead of finding common ground with others. We have been bringers of strife when we are meant to be messengers of peace.

It is time for us to put down our weapons and pick up a spade. Plant a garden. Recycle a mound of trash. Get outside and appreciate the artistry of what God has made. Appreciate the fact that it was made for us. Understand that it doesn’t matter if others are misguided, misinformed, wrongly motivated. What matters is that you, Follower of the Way, Little Christ, Saint, you can only show love to your God by obeying His commands. Do not fail in the very first one given.

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great. Mark Twain

Update (Monday): 5 minutes stretching; 40 minutes cardio (walk through town with one kid in the stroller & one in the carrier).

On Writing:
It takes a certain amount of audacity to be a writer. You have to overcome the tendency toward self-degradation. Who I am that I have anything worthwhile to say? Why should people pay attention to me? Well, maybe they shouldn’t, but nobody else is writing what I’m thinking. Maybe they’re thinking it, too. Maybe I’m not original or wise or witty. But I’m the only one willing to put it on paper and judge what it’s worth. Once that’s done, once it is written, we can all disregard it as we please. But I can’t disregard it until it is written.

On Saying No: (from Alexandra Stoddard’s book Making Choices).

Nothing materializes without a program. …The essence of no is to have priorities and keep them in order.

No has a negative ring to many, but if we don’t look at it clearly and use it, we will lose the opportunity to discipline ourselves, to manage our own affairs.

No saves you from the dangerous myth that you’re indispensable.

No is not negative; it actively leads to the positive. My own struggle to accept certain restrictions on my time, energy, and money have helped me reach my goals.

Tip: Write something today. Say no to something you normally say yes to today.

What we hope ever to do with ease we may learn first to do with diligence.   Samuel Johnson

Update (Saturday): 20 minutes cardio (running around, pushing Mara and my niece up and down a hill in a little car).

Just as I get to the “end in sight” on my somewhat sporadic exercise challenge month, I am thinking I will start it over again. (You may think some cliched phrase like “glutton for punishment” here, but I don’t want to actually put that in my writing. Cliches are so evil, after all. In fact, it’s really a cliche that they are evil…)

I picked up a book at the library sale the other day. It’s one of an apparent series: The 28 Day Plan by Christine Green. This one is called Get Fit for the Beach. I’m hoping that if I follow the 28-Day GET FIT FOR THE BEACH! plan, at the end of it I will be magically transported to said sparkling, pristine beach. (Did you catch the clichs in that paragraph? There were two.)

I’m a sucker for 28 day plans, or 30 day plans, or 21 day plans, or monthly challenges. The beach premise is also pretty thrilling. We’ll see. I shall review and report. Maybe I would do better with a book titled “Get Fit for the Midwest!” but I see why that wouldn’t be a great seller.

Resources: I couldn’t find anything online for the book except for the publisher’s website, which doesn’t itself have much information but you can watch a little scrolling slide show of all their adult reference titles.

Tip: I don’t think I can say it any better than Samuel Johnson:

Don’t think of retiring from the world until the world will be sorry that you retire. I hate a fellow whom pride or cowardice or laziness drives into a corner, and who does nothing when he is there but sit and growl. Let him come out as I do, and bark.

When a country is rebellious, it has many rulers, but a man of understanding and knowledge maintains order.       Proverbs 28:2

Few people are capable of expressing with equanimity opinions which differ from the prejudices of their social environment. Most people are even incapable of forming such opinions. Albert Einstein Challenge Update (Friday): 30 minutes cardio (walking). I got in a little stretching and toning, too, random lunges and squats and Kegels and some Tupler ab squeezes.

Resources: After my first pregnancy, I read the book Lose Your Mummy Tummy by Julie Tupler. It’s worth a read, or you can just check out the Tupler Technique online. I haven’t been very faithful in these (my tummy would be flatter if I had), so I won’t post pictures of my great six-pack abs produced by these exercises. I do recommend them, especially for post-partum exercise but also for anyone who wants to tone and flatten the belly. If you’re pregnant, this book on Maternal Fitness (also by Tupler) looks worthwhile.

I’m a big fan of the Bradley Method for actual delivery and coaching methods. Check out Husband-Coached Childbirth by Dr. Bradley himself, or Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way, an updated version with lots of specific coaching help.Tip: Kegels and Tupler moves are great for any woman, whether you’ve never had children or vaguely remember having children or are trying to breastfeed one right now while you read this and try to move the mouse without disturbing your baby! Both the Kegels and Tupler moves are easy, can be done anywhere, anytime, without anyone knowing, and will produce great results if you’re diligent with them. Try it for long enough to make it a habit… then you’ll keep doing them without even trying.

Remove the dross from the silver, and out comes material for the silversmith. Proverbs 25:4

I think there is something, more important than believing: Action! The world is full of dreamers, there aren’t enough who will move ahead and begin to take concrete steps to actualize their vision. W. Clement Stone

(An aside: a great quotation above other than using the word “actualize.”  I’m not a fan of it.)

After a week away from posting, I have returned with slightly sunburned arms and slightly stretched muscles. I got in some good walking - it’s the exercise that takes you anywhere! - but my abs are suffering from a failure to incorporate sexy-abs-situps into my vacation routine. Alas. I’ll get right on that.

A week away is good for one’s perspective on things, usually. This trip, however, I returned feeling a little muddled. I think it was just… well. I really don’t know what it was just. It just was, but I’m muddling through the muddle. This day, home is a clarifying place. (Ironic that I’m at the library as I write this, not at home.)

Challenge Update (review of the week 17 - 25):

Day 17 (Thursday): Ran around the house packing, cleaning, laundering, stressing, calling random people, checking the mail too often, paying bills, sitting down, standing up, playing with Mara, repacking, forgetting things, worrying about forgetting things, making a list, losing a list, finding a list, ad infinitum. Wearily she falls into bed… Read the rest of this entry »

Edna St. Vincent Millay, first woman to receive the Pulitzer Prize for Poetry, produced poetry with a simplicity that eases you into its tangible emotions. Her life choices were not what I consider admirable, but her poetry is full of grace. You can read more about her here, in a brief biography.  

God’s World

O world, I cannot hold thee close enough!
   Thy winds, thy wide grey skies!
   Thy mists that roll and rise!
Thy woods this autumn day, that ache and sag
And all but cry with colour!  That gaunt crag
To crush!  To lift the lean of that black bluff!
World, World, I cannot get thee close enough!

Long have I known a glory in it all,
   But never knew I this;
   Here such a passion is
As stretcheth me apart, — Lord, I do fear
Thou’st made the world too beautiful this year;
My soul is all but out of me, — let fall
No burning leaf; prithee, let no bird call.

She is best known for her poem Renascence; her poem The Suicide is more approachable (don’t be deterred by the title).

We have a flow of ideas, sometimes a tremendous flow of ideas, at times in one direction, or at other times in another direction; or perhaps even ten directions at once. And we have to make a choice. We cannot do everything that comes into our minds, nor can we create everything that comes into our imaginations… There is choice involved in the very simplest form of creativity, because as any set of possibilities comes into our minds, we have to choose. Edith Schaeffer, The Hidden Art of Homemaking

Update (Wednesday): 30 minutes cardio (walking); 10 minutes toning (tai chi, sort of).

The kids and I went to the park again. I am taking advantage of every clear blue spring day that we have, before the temperature reaches those unbearable heights as it soon will. I am not a fan of summer. Ick.

But right now, April is fresh and green and warm without being sticky. And getting - just getting - to the park is a great work out. 17-pound Robbie is in the Baby Bjorn carrier, strapped to me; 30-pound Mara is in the umbrella stroller with the little wheels that must be half-pushed, half-carried across the large grassy field we cross to get to the park; 25-pound Bag’O'Necessities is on my right arm, and 150-pound Dakota’s leash is looped on my left wrist. By the time we cross that field and I drop the bag under the tree by the walking path, I feel like I’ve been on an two-week-long African safari. Whew.

After I recover a bit from the journey to the park, we walk the loop two or three times. It’s a half-mile walking path, so I get in a mile or so. And Mara likes the kiddie swings, and we definitely must get a drink from the water fountain, and we need to stop by the big puddle so Dakota can also have a drink… then I spread out the blanket and collapse onto it.

I love living next door to a park. I love living in our small town. I love piling the kids in the stroller and taking off, waving at people I know as they drive by, stopping to chat with our neighbors, going into the little library or grocery store, heading back home by way of the ice cream stand (only open summers).

I love that our neighbors don’t mind that we take a long time to finish house projects, that sometimes the weeds are bigger than the tomato plants in our garden, that our dog howls whenever he hears a siren, that sometimes I do tai chi in the front yard while waiting for Joe to get home. My version of tai chi, anyway… No one seems to notice, or mind if they do notice. Perhaps I could start a tai chi class; every Wednesday night we could gather on the front yard and become more fit and flexible while providing entertainment for the parents of the young softball players, heading to the fields at the end of our street.

Contact me if you’re interested… or if you know anything about tai chi.

Resources: Read about the history and practice of Tai Chi. Come on, you know you’re crazy curious now. Or learn more about L’Abri, the Christian community which Edith Schaeffer founded with her husband, Francis Schaeffer. Or read this article about creativity in the home that corresponds with the E. quotation above.

Tip: Pick one or two ideas from this list and do it. We all need more creativity.

I will be on “vacation” from the 17th through the 24th for two family weddings; if I’m able to update while I’m away, I will. If not, then life will continue on, the planets will turn as they always do, and somehow the internet will survive my brief absence.

“If your career is raising a family, you know how essential it is to be a conscientious person because you influence the atmosphere and character of everything around you. It is enormously satisfying to be good at what you do and enjoy the process. If you make the decision to stay home to raise your children, let your children know through your actions how much fun you’re having. Do exciting projects with them, have a good time each day, teach them through example how exciting life can be. Whatever you decide to do, tackle it with the understanding that your personal vision is unique and you can make a contribution no one else can make. Be true to what you believe is right for you. Alexandra Stoddard, Daring to Be Yourself.

Update (Wednesday): 30 minutes cardio, tilling the garden.

Joe brought home a tiller from work. I love this machine. I would polish it and keep it in my bedroom, but he had to take it back to work. I feel like I’ve lost a limb.

So my cardio on Wednesday was using the YARD BOSS to till up my garden. It took about 40 minutes or so to make it through the weed-infested 10×30 area. By the time I finished, my shoes were muddy, mosquitoes were in my hair, my hands were trembling from the continual vibration of the tiller. I loved it. I would have kept going but it was too dark to see the ground.

Love what you do and every moment is joy. (Note: I did not say “Do what you love.” That is a rather different and less productive goal.)

Resources: Go here, read a bit, look at pictures, soak in the inspiration. Then go to your local co-op, feed store, farmer’s hangout, or if you must, Wal-Mart.  Get some seeds. Really, that’s all. Do you have dirt at home? Water? A little patch of earth, or a bucket, or a crate? You’re set. Come home with your seeds and make a garden, a tiny one or a big one, in the ground or on your windowsill. Just get some dirt under your fingernails.

Tip: Do clean your fingernails before dinner…