"Worry comes from trying to control anything which I am not equipped nor prepared nor responsible to control: in other words, anything outside of my sphere of responsibility, my “circle of authority.” How often do I step outside this circle and try to drag something back in with me, something that does not fit, something that belongs in someone else's care?"

The Worry Addiction

We start the moment we wake up in the morning and keep at it until exhaustion finally shuts off our active brain. We continue even in sleep, in our subconscious and our dreams bringing out our worries and tossing them around, sorting them, counting and naming and nurturing them. We must have something to gnaw on, something to worry with, to examine and analyze, to prove or disprove, to criticize or fear or envy. We are compulsive worriers.

Why do we nurture this worry habit? Have you noticed that no matter how quickly one problem is solved we find another one immediately to take its place? We don't recognize the cycle as a cycle, an addictive cycle, and we honestly believe that “once this mess is taken care of,” everything will be back to normal again. But normal, for most of us, involves perpetual worry because we gain from it a feeling of control. But wouldn't it be nice to do something besides worry? Read the rest of this entry »

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We stayed dry. The water never got closer than the ball fields at the end of our street. The river crested on Saturday morning around 10 at 37 feet. The record for the area is 39 feet. It is strange to see half of your town underwater.

By the time we got home Saturday night, the water was already receding. By Sunday afternoon all the roads were open again. People were back at their houses, some of them hauling out trash and soggy pieces of drywall. All the houses in the flooded area had signs on their door: green means Safe for Occupancy, Yellow or Orange means Uninhabitable. Some of these folks won't be getting to go back home for a while yet. There were a lot of bright yellow signs.

The businesses that sandbagged seemed to do better. Our coffee shop had a green sign on its door, as did the CPA's office across the street. The bottom two feet of both buildings were encased in heavy plastic and layers of sandbags.

The homes are the worst. The trailers are mainly inhabitable, as most of them are up on platforms that are high enough and kept the water out. But the older houses anywhere east of 1st Street will be empty until the owners can get major renovations done. Of course, typically, the homes in the flood zone are cheaper. People who buy there don't always have the money for major renovations, and often don't have flood insurance either.

Our strange weekend of flooding was followed by a snowy Easter Sunday. It's good I didn't get to planting those peas last week as I had planned.

More:

A video of the water in our town. These are the places I go by when I take the babies for a walk.

An article quoting our Mayor, who wishes we had a levee like Valley Park does. The grass is always greener (though the water isn't deeper) on the other side...

Another video, this time with local Minister Jack Bone, some good footage of the sandbagged coffee shop as well as a lovely pair of snakeskin boots, and another mention of that levee we wish we had.

The closest to being in control we will ever be is in that moment that we realize we're not.
Brian Kessler

Challenge Update (Thursday and Friday): I woke up this morning groggy, with a headache. I'm not a drinker; I don't know what a hangover feels like, but I imagine it must be something like this. The last two days have been an emotional tightrope walk: how high will the waters come? When will the river crest? If we're at 29' and the river reaches 31', what does that mean for our basement?
It's a sad thing to realize your own selfishness. My home is dry, tight, and cozy even after two days of the river rising to within a block of where we live. People I know have had to evacuate; their homes, their stuff, their lives are being dirtied and destroyed by river water. And all I am worried about is my home, my stuff, my life.
I wanted desperately this morning to make a list. I want to feel productive, in control somehow, of some small thing. The last couple of days, actually the last couple of weeks, have been upside-down. It's not just the flooding; it's a whole lot of other stuff (and people) that I can't control. I want to feel like I can control something. The rising water, the uncertainty, the powerlessness of any of us to do more than pile a few sandbags: we are small. We are so helpless.

Pushing through fear is less frightening than living with the underlying fear that comes from a feeling of helplessness.
Susan Jeffers

So we keep pushing on. I've been an onlooker more than anything: in life, in relationships, in a crisis like this most recent one where neighbors and friends are displaced. Onlooker is the same as victim. Helpless.

But getting involved is scary. If I participate, I might get hurt. I might lose something, like myself. I might mess things up. I might make it worse. I might find that I am as helpless as I feel from the outside.

Or, I might find that I am not so helpless after all.

Better Life Tip: Try.

Our house is on 6th Street and we are still high and dry right now. It's Friday afternoon. Here's what the National Weather Service says: (Our house is 2 blocks closer to the River than the railroad tracks.)

THE FLOOD WARNING CONTINUES FOR THE MERAMEC RIVER AT PACIFIC
* UNTIL LATE MONDAY NIGHT.
* AT 1:45 PM FRIDAY THE STAGE WAS 28.3 FEET.
* MODERATE FLOODING IS OCCURRING AND MAJOR FLOODING IS FORECAST.
* FLOOD STAGE IS 15.0 FEET.
* FORECAST...THE RIVER IS EXPECTED TO CREST NEAR 30.0 FEET AROUND
MIDNIGHT TONIGHT AND FALL BELOW FLOOD STAGE MONDAY MORNING.
* IMPACT...AT 31.0 FEET...RAILROAD TRACKS BEGIN TO FLOOD.

There are two ways of meeting difficulties: you alter the difficulties, or you alter yourself to meet them. Phyllis Bottome

Challenge Update: Tuesday. Rainy again. Rain on Monday, rain on Tuesday, makes me want to crawl back into bed. Or just drink another cup of coffee. My body needs more Vitamin D.

Tuesday I spent "in town": some time with Joe at the shop, some errands, and a lovely time in the afternoon, double date. Me and my little Robbie and my friend J and her little girl C. We think Robbie and C would be a great match. They were amiable but not especially interested in each other, and they both fell asleep before the 'date' ended. J and I had a great time catching up anyway.

Wednesday is Joe's day off, so I consider it my day off as well. I took it easy in the morning, then had lunch with my sister-in-law and a friend of ours. Wednesday afternoon Joe and I drove around our town seeing how high the river has gotten and how many of our neighbors are packing up to evacuate. And that brings me to this morning.

Thursday morning. By Friday evening, the National Weather Service predicts, the Meramec River will rise to 31.5 feet above sea level. Our house is at 29' feet. We are looking at a possible basement full of water plus another couple of feet on our ground floor. I don't know what to think.

I've never been flooded out before. I'm looking around at this stuff, wondering what I will really miss if it is all ruined by water in another 36 hours. I'm packing up boxes of photos, our files, my writing. We'll move those out, along with our computer, my guitar, Joe's drums, and some clothes. Then we will wait.

Time and tide wait for no man. Geoffrey Chaucer

So we wait for them. Soon I will be looking at a lifetime's accumulation of stuff - minus what we manage to carry out - ruined by the chance of a few too many raindrops. Or, soon, I will be laughing the desperate laugh of one who narrowly misses the danger.

You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you. Walt Disney

Warming, filling, great for emptying out the pantry and the refrigerator. The meat or vegetables can be substituted for others as you have available.

Happiness depends more on the inward disposition of mind than on outward circumstances. Benjamin Franklin

Challenge Update: It's a funny thing, when you have no to do list. You forget to do stuff. Like blog.

Just kidding. I didn't really forget for an entire week. I was otherwise occupied, shall we say? Let me 'splain. No, is too much. Let me sum up.

My Dad came to visit on Sunday, followed by my sister, her two kids, and her boyfriend on Tuesday, followed by a nasty flu that hit me on Wednesday. Dad left Thursday, Sister et al left Friday, flu left Sunday.

Despite the evil sickness with which I was smited (smiten? smote?), we managed to hit the City Museum and the Zoo on Wednesday and Thursday, respectively. I can't say I had a whoppin' good time at either one, feeling as I was like a slightly livelier version of a feverish zombie. However, for those in good health who are in the St. Louis region, both attractions are worth the visit.

City Museum hits you with a rather pricey admission cost ($12 for ages 3 and up) and, if you participate in the fun at all, leaves you with sore knees, elbows, and vertebrae. But it is fun and interesting for kids and adults, they're always adding new stuff, it covers all ages, it's big and will entertain you for hours.

St. Louis Zoo charges no admission, though if you use the convenient, just-across-the-street parking they charge $10 per car, more for (full-size) vans. A little further from the entrance you can scrounge for free parking; there isn't lots, but it's there if you take the time to stalk a leaving party. (Try not to be too obvious.) They have snacks and drinks and merchandise available, of course, all for exorbitant prices; pack a lunch and make sure you catch one of the scheduled seal feedings (buyer beware: no scheduled feedings on Thursdays), the penguin house, and the insectarium. Get a guide to tell you about the big apes and be prepared for lots of discussion about poop if you have children under, oh, age fifteen, and you go anywhere near the elephants or hippos.

Better Life Tip: Find something fun in your area, scope it out so you know what to expect, and make a day trip.

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Simple living won't just become your standard one day, when you happen to wake up and everything is suddenly infused with great clarity and meaning. The world, our work, people, media, everything around us conspires to add more clutter to our already filled lives. You have to take steps and make changes every day to move away from a cluttered and unfulfilling life toward a simple and meaningful one . The good part is that many changes you can make are very simple, but all will contribute toward your ultimate goal. Try implementing a few of these changes today, or take the next month and make one small change every day.
1. Throw something away. Yes. Into the garbage can. Out of the house. To the dumpster. Stuff is a big part of the complication in our lives, so give yourself permission to get rid of something you no longer need or want or find useful. It may be that old collection of VHS tapes that you know you'll never watch again, or a pair of shoes that is way too uncomfortable, or a pile of papers to read. Just get rid of it. It's taking up valuable space in your life and making you feel guilty about not getting to it.
2. Get up at the same time every morning. It doesn't have to be at some unnaturally early hour, just the same hour every day. You'll have to be super-consistent while you're establishing the habit, but once you do your body will automatically wake up at that time. Your mornings will be smoother and you won't have to go through that snooze-button struggle.
3. Clean out a drawer. Pick that drawer in the kitchen that you always spend five minutes rummaging through to find the garlic press, or the one in the bathroom that seems to eat your floss, or the one in your dresser that refuses to return socks. Dump the whole thing out, throw away or put away (in an appropriate place) anything that you don't use on a regular basis, then replace the items that should actually be in the drawer. Use a drawer organizer, or small boxes, or anything that will create boundaries for that stuff in there can't get free again.
4. Give away your old clothes. This doesn't have to be a big project. Grab a box or garbage bag, go to your closet, and quickly, without stopping to talk yourself out of it, toss in all the clothes you haven't worn in the last six months (unless they're seasonal and you store them in there). If you are storing out-of-season clothes in your closet, consider boxing them up and putting them out of sight until the appropriate season. A clean, roomy closet makes getting dressed a much more pleasant activity. Take your now-full bag or box to the car and drop it off at a charity next time you run errands.
5. Clean off your bedside table. You don't need so much stuff there, and it's only distracting when you're trying to relax and go to sleep. A lamp, one or two books (no more!), a paper and pen if you often get inspired at night, and one or two other necessities. I have to have my Burt's Bees Lip Balm handy. Put the rest of that accumulated stuff away: books go to the bookcase, lotions to the bathroom, jewelry to the jewelry box, papers to the filing cabinet or desk, etc. You might even find that you have room for a vase of flowers. Read the rest of this entry »

1. Everyday for a week, fill a shopping bag with things you don't want/need. At the end of the week, take them all to your local thrift store and donate.
2. Set up a basic food schedule for your family, weekly or monthly or however works. You can be as general or as specific as you like: Monday/ Chicken, Tuesday/ Pasta, Wednesday/ Sandwiches/ etc.
3. Carry a "Need to Buy" list with you - in your planner or just a notecard in your purse. On it, have a list of the items you need to buy in the near future - clothing for family, supplies for projects, furniture, decorations, gifts. Then when you see a great deal you'll know if you should take it home or just take yourself home.
4. Purge your bedroom. Clean off your night tables and keep only a minimum - lamp, one book, one bottle of lotion - your minimum.
5. Empty your laundry basket everyday and sort the clothes into marked baskets in your laundry room. You'll know as soon as you need to do a wash, or if you have a set laundry day it will go much faster since everything is already sorted. Plus your bedroom or bathroom will look better when the hamper isn't overflowing.
6. Install wall-hanging magazine racks anywhere you read Read the rest of this entry »