I Can Do Anything for a Month… Maybe.

I am a little obsessed with personal growth, life improvement, all things moving me toward being a better person and living a better life. I’ve only got maybe 80 years here on earth, and I would like to make the most of it. The trouble is that it’s just difficult becoming a better person. I’ve got lots of habits that are hard to kick. Nothing really terrible or criminal or any worse than the next guy, but lots of things that keep me at a mediocre level in many areas of my life.

I have discovered that I can get momentum up for a while but then I just wimp out. I need to build up more self-discipline. It is a long, slow process, but I am determined to keep trying and keep pushing because I am simply not satisfied with mediocrity. So. I read about this idea of a monthly challenge, and I think it is worth trying.

The concept is simple: try something for a month. There are two basic kinds of monthly challenges, same concept but slightly different vision. The first promotes a habit. The 30-Day Challenge at Steve Pavlina’s site is a good example. This type of monthly challenge gets you to put forward enough energy for the 30 days you’ve committed to. You trick yourself - “it’s only for 30 days” - but after those 30 days it has become a habit and you can continue it, if so desired, with much less effort.
The second kind of monthly challenge promotes a project. NaNoWriMo is, perhaps, the best-known of these challenges. The point is to put forward as much energy as possible to complete a (large) project in 30 days. The goal is completion, not perfection. You can let other things slide a bit in order to complete the project; you can always go back and work on the details later. The month of intense effort gets you through the project without a chance to lose momentum.

The monthly challenge possibilities are endless. Whatever habit you need to establish Read the rest of this entry »

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The book: Not Buying It: My Year Without Shopping by Judith Levine, published by Free Press; available as an Amazon Kindle Edition, if you’re so inclined.

The format: A month-by-month review of one couple’s year without purchasing anything more than necessities.
The review: A more accurate description might be a month-by-month foray into the life and mind of a writer totally taken in by anti-Bush, anti-capitalism, anti-republican, anti-war cultural popularisms.

Let’s not blame her. She is, after all, a writer living in New York City and New England. She has simply become what is accepted in her particular subculture. Honestly, when did you last hear of a pro-bush, New York City-based writer actually published?
I don’t critique her in order to defend Bush. Frankly, I’m not a great fan myself, but my aim here is not to dissect the politics of the thing but to review the part politics play in her book. I picked it up because I am interested in people trying to simplify, in a less consumer-oriented life, in the reality of trying to live a little differently than the culture around you.

Levine provides a statistically supported, well-researched critique of consumer culture and is fresh and honest about her place in it. Her personal struggles with buying and not buying, her changes in lifestyle, her experiences in the social sphere as a non-consumer: these are the essays that pique and tingle. She is honest about her less-than-ideal habits, her penchants for newness (to which we can all relate), her failures; she is humble and realistic about her success.

She loses me, however, when she attempts to define the failings of capitalism and the problems with rich (read: non-third-world) countries by applying cliches of the liberal leaning to problems of commerce, economics, and wealth distribution. Stereotypes just don’t do enough. The “bigger” issues, in this case, are not better for Levine.

Perhaps that’s because, on the political spectrum, I am far more Republican than I am Democrat. Maybe I can’t handle the criticism where it touches my party leanings.

Or maybe personal, real experience tells a story better than political musing. Where Levine remembers, and writes thus, the book is interesting no matter what your politics. When she doesn’t, however, which is a lot of the time, she inspires me to take the title advice in real application to the book itself.

More: Levine’s 2006 radio interview with Doug Henwood of Left Business Observor. (Downloadable or listen to streaming audio.)

Levine’s 2006 radio interview with Diane Rehm of the Diane Rehm show. (Listen to a segment or purchase the cd or transcript.)

An interview (text) about Levine’s 2002 book Harmful to Minors: The Perils of Protecting Children from Sex from Salon.com. (There was a good deal of controversy about the book when it was published, which the introductory article summarizes.)

Levine’s blog, her other books, and an excerpt from Not Buying It.

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This is my go-to recipe for a basic, good bread. It’s strong enough for sandwiches and can easily be shaped into rolls rather than a loaf. I’ve made it all white or with a mix of white and whole wheat flour, and it’s always risen beautifully and tasted wonderful. The recipe is from Joy of Cooking, 1997 edition, which my Mom gave me on my 17th birthday. It’s been my favorite cookbook ever since.

I often double the recipe and stick half the dough in the fridge after the first rise so we can have more fresh bread later in the week. It also makes great pizza dough - just roll out into pizza shape after the first rise, then bake at 350 for 10 minutes or so, until just beginning to brown. When you’re ready for pizza, top the pre-cooked crust with sauce, cheese, and topping, and bake at 350 until everything is warm and melty.

Ingredients:

2 1/4 t. active dry yeast (I use SAF yeast.)

1/4 cup warm water

2 T. sugar

3 cups bread flour (I just use all purpose flour.)

2 cups warm water (I use half milk, half water sometimes.)

1 T. melted butter (Sometimes I double the butter amount, sometimes I leave it out altogether. Depends on how luxurious I’m feeling at the time. The bread is good either way.)

1 T. salt

3 to 3 1/2 cups flour (all purpose white or wheat)

Mix the yeast, water, and sugar in a small bowl until the yeast is dissolved and frothy, about 5 minutes.

In large bowl, combine the flour, the yeast mixture, the water, butter, and salt. Mix until well combined. Add the remaining flour by half-cupfuls until the dough is moist but not sticky. You may need more or less flour. The dough should begin pulling away from the sides of the bowl.

Knead the dough for 5 - 10 minutes until smooth and elastic. Butter or oil the sides and bottom of a large bowl and place the dough in it, turning it once to coat. Let rise in a warm place until doubled, 1 to 1 1/2 hours.

Gently press the dough down and divide into two pieces. Grease 2 loaf pans (8 1/2 by 4 1/2 inches) and place half the dough in each pan. Let rise until again doubled, 1 to 1 1/2 hours.

Preheat the oven to 350 and cook the loaves for about 30 minutes, or until lightly browned and hollow sounding when tapped. Remove from pans and let cool on wire rack… or just go ahead and cut yourself a piece as soon as you can and eat it ravenously. It’s great with butter and honey.

Tools of Simple Lunches

To-go containers
Leftovers
Non-cook options
Heated options
Prepared fresh food

Using the Tools

To-Go Containers
For those who must take their lunches or prepare them for others who take them to work or school, your choice of to-go containers can make lunch simple or complicated. Disposable, restaurant-style boxes are a good option if you find that your Tupperware never makes it home. Yes, it is more waste and more recycling, but if your plastic containers disappear you have to replace them. Better to replace paper than plastic.

A good thermos is indispensable for colder weather. Sandwich bags, zipper-type bags, paper lunch bags, plastic wrap, foil: there are endless options. The best way is to determine what type of lunches you will be making regularly, then stock up on containers that work for you. If you, your spouse, and/or your child will bring home reusable containers, they are best. If not, get something inexpensive and make of recycled materials if possible, and keep a good supply on hand.

Leftovers
You can provide almost every lunch from left-over dinner meals, if you so choose. Make more than is needed for dinner for your family, and go ahead and portion it out into the appropriate lunch container before dinner. Don’t feel that you have to wait until everyone has eaten and scrape up what is left. If you know you have more than enough, remove the part that will be someone’s lunch. We tend to eat as much as we see available: more if there is more, less if there is less. Help fight obesity and remove the lunch portion before it disappears at dinner! Read the rest of this entry »

The Tools of Simple Breakfasts

To-go breakfast edibles
Options: non-cook, quick-cook, make-ahead
A well-stocked freezer
A specific breakfast time

Using the Tools

To-Go Breakfast Edibles
Every now and then, or perhaps more often than that, you’re going to have a morning that just won’t come together. It’s best to be prepared and keep a supply of breakfast items that can be eaten en route. Granola bars, protein bars, bananas or apples, or any of the multitude of breakfast bars are all good options. Except for the fruit, all of those options are rather over-processed to be a healthy choice for every day. But when you’re in a pinch and you know it, it is better to eat something processed than nothing at all. Combine a banana or apple with a protein bar and you won’t be doubling over from hunger at mid-morning.

Options: Non-Cook, Quick-Cook, and Make-Ahead
Non-cook options include cereal and milk, yogurt and granola, fresh fruit of any kind, bagels, and smoothies.
Quick-cook options include oatmeal, cream of wheat type cereals, toast, and eggs.
Make-ahead options include breakfast casseroles and any baked goods you make yourself: muffins, scones, biscuits, etc.
The idea is not to have all of the options listed above and pick your way through them each morning. We’re going for simple. Knowing your morning schedule and approximately how much time you have both to prepare, eat, and clean up breakfast, you need to choose the options that best fit. If you’re looking at ten minutes, go for the non-cook options, preferably those with little or no cleaning needed, like fruit and bagels. Add a glass of milk to get some protein. If you have twenty to thirty minutes, you could opt for one of the quick-cook options. Twenty minutes is enough time to make toast, scramble an egg, eat, and put your dishes in the dishwasher. Thirty minutes is enough time to make oatmeal, cream of wheat, or an omelet, eat, and clean up.
The make-ahead options could work for shorter or longer time periods, if you have the time and desire to make breakfast the night before. You can put together a breakfast casserole while you’re cleaning up dinner (or during your extended weekly prep time) and keep it in the refrigerator. In the morning, simply pop it in the oven while you shower and dress, then take fifteen minutes to sit and eat. Or if you enjoy baking, make up a batch of muffins or scones. You can go ahead and cook them so they’re ready to grab on your way out the door, or you can get the batter from the refrigerator, cook them while you get ready, and enjoy them warm and fresh.
What you don’t want to do is take on more than your morning can accomodate. Don’t try to make an omelet if you have to leave in ten minutes. Save those labor-intensive, more elaborate breakfasts for the weekends. Waffles, pancakes, and the like are great as a Saturday morning brunch or a Sunday evening meal. Read the rest of this entry »

The Tools of Simple Weeknight Meals

A weekly meal plan
A well-stocked pantry
An uncomplicated kitchen
A weekly grocery trip
One extended prep time per week
Simple staples
Leftovers

Using the Tools

A Weekly Meal Plan
There is menu planning, and then there is life. The two don’t go together very well. You can plan all you want to make that beef stroganoff and rice pilaf and chocolate mousse on Tuesday evening, but when the washer breaks and floods the basement on Tuesday afternoon, your dearest plans are (literally) washed away. We don’t know exactly what a day will throw at us. After unexpected and stressful situations, there is nothing worse than realizing you have nothing to eat that will not demand an hour’s prepping and cooking time. Not good.

A weekly meal plan is sort of like a menu, but allows for ahead-of-time preparation and flexibility. Assuming you will eat out one night per week, you are left with six nights that demand some sort of meal for yourself and your family. A weekly meal plan could be as simple as this: 1) Pasta, 2) Soup, 3) Chicken, 4) Sandwiches, 5) Fish, 6) Slow Cooker. You can have the same kind of pasta, soup, chicken, etc. every week if you want to, or you can mix it up a little and do a different pasta sauce and a new kind of slow cooker dish. You have six options, however, and you shop for and prepare for the six options each week. Then, whatever the day throws at you, you have food that is planned and somewhat prepared and requires little more time or effort from you. Read the rest of this entry »

Variety is the spice of life, but when it comes to food and sanity, repetition is key to success. Food can be as complicated or as simple as you allow it to be. Most of us don’t spend much time thinking and planning, so menus and meals become a complex and frustrating burden. The truth is, we eat the same things most of the time. If we would plan for that and learn to shop ahead and prepare ahead just a little more than we usually do, meals can become simple and enjoyable. When you don’ t have to scramble and spend lots of time in the kitchen for every meal, you might find yourself wanting to make something a little extra, like a new dessert or loaf of bread.

You don’t need to feel bad about feeding your family the same things more often than not. We all like what is familiar; there is something very comfortable about knowing what to expect. Introducing new foods and recipes comes much easier when you are not stressing about every meal. Let simple routines take the place of the frantic look through the refrigerator. Let a well-stocked pantry take the place of last-minute runs to the grocery store. Let easy, fresh side dishes take the place of over-processed mixes. Simplicity in your meals does not mean you only eat bread and water; it means you stick to what you know, plan ahead, and add in new dishes as your time and budget allows.

Go to Simple Living: Weeknight Meals
Go to Simple Living: Breakfast
Go to Simple Living: Lunches

If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a d**n fool about it. W.C. Fields

Challenge Update: And so, with the advice of eloquent Mr. Fields at my back, I call an official end to the experimental month of Life Without a To Do List. I wouldn’t call it a failure: I didn’t write a to do list for the last 26 days, so I have adhered to the challenge. I wouldn’t call it a success: I can’t see any significant life improvement. A bit more perspective, perhaps, and understanding of how a to do list can either be useful or a method of extending my control-freakish ways. Perhaps that does make it a success.

March was a strange month, anyway. It was probably the best possible month to forego my usual list addiction; from remodeling projects to plumbing problems to sickness to out-of-town guests to flooding, March has been full of things keeping me from routine. If I had been making to do lists this month, they probably would have been untouched at the end of the day, which would have made me feel even more out of control.

That is what I have learned from this challenge: lists make me feel like I’m in control. Especially when I can accomplish what is on the list. But even when I don’t get it all done, it gives me a sense that at least I know what isn’t done. I am aware of what waits for me, what is lacking, what must be tackled. Without that list, I feel like I am floating. I may be missing something important. I may have forgotten to pay a bill. I don’t know.

Are lists good or bad, then? Both. A list can become a lifeline, when what I really need is an afternoon off or a date with my husband or a chat with my best friend. A list can make me dependent on accomplishing and leave me feeling that without a record of my accomplishments (however insignificant they are), I am unimportant, unrecorded, lost, meaningless.

A list can keep me on track, though, when distractions are everywhere. A list can point me back to my priorities and help me focus on the truly important even when those urgent things are screaming at me. A list can help me reach my goals. It lets me see progress. It also lets me see when I am trying to do too much, if I am willing to look.

After (almost) a month without a list, I am willing to look. I am not willing to write a 20-point list and feel guilty at the end of the day when I haven’t accomplished it all. I am not willing to substitute list-making and checking off items for time and conversation and rest. I do want to stay on track, and see progress, and reach goals. So I am stepping back into a life with a to do list, but this time it is a tool and not an end in itself.

Better Life Tip: Make a careful list of all things done to you that you abhorred. Don’t do them to others, ever.
…Make another list of things done for you that you loved. Do them for others, always. Dee Hock

Even if my qualifications seem best, I may not be right for the job. I may, in fact, be very, very wrong. It’s my job to determine what belongs to me and what doesn’t.

Figuring Out What Belongs to You

How do I know what belongs to me and what does not? How do I get rid of the things that are not truly my responsibility? Let’s start with a simple process of taking inventory. What am I currently taking responsibility for? Look at all the roles you play, then look at all the activities and tasks within each role. For example, I am (in no particular order) a wife, a mother, a sister and daughter, a friend, a Christian, a church member, a writer, a homemaker, a musician, a website manager, a woman, a cook, a gardener, and an entrepreneur. I could probably come up with more if I kept at it a little longer.

Within my role of church member, I have taken on the responsibilities of going to church every Sunday, playing on the worship team each week as well as compiling our worship set, emailing it to the worship team, attending practice each week, participating in ladies’ bible studies, fellowship dinners, and occasional “extra” worship times. Yet I still feel guilty when I walk by the table in the foyer and see the Church Cleaning Sign-up Sheet, because my name is nowhere on it. The only way I can keep myself from compulsively taking on the bathroom cleaning for the entire month is by remembering what my responsibilities as a church member already are. Once I mentally review them, I realize that I can take on no more unless I let something go. It isn’t that I can’t clean bathrooms or am unwilling to; it’s that I have already dedicated my time and effort to other activities in the church, and I don’t have any additional time to give. That’s my line and I dare not cross it.

Get Your Paper and Pen and Get Ready…

Be thorough as you list your roles and your activities within them. Picture yourself walking through your day and jot down everything you take responsibility for. Perhaps you feel guilty about missing dinner with your sister but she didn’t tell you the plans until the day of. Why do you feel guilty? Because you feel responsible. Why do you feel responsible? Read the rest of this entry »