Challenge Update: This morning the alarm went off, I got up, and though I’m a little sleepy, I feel more human than zombie-like. This is a first for the last couple of weeks.

I haven’t been getting enough sleep and this is why: my habit is to go to bed when I get sleepy, say, when I can’t concentrate on the page I’m reading or the movie I’m watching. Lately, I’ve been busy moving around, talking to people, working physically on projects. We are remodeling our basement; every night Joe comes home and works for a couple of hours and I try to help. We’ve also had several C.O.P.S. meetings, formal and spontaneous. When I’m active with work (physical) or with people (conversation), I don’t get those “hey-I’m-sleepy-and-should-go-to-bed” cues.

I’ve been feeling depressed in the evenings, too. I hate being depressed, so when I start feeling it I immediately try to figure out what the cause is. Do I need some time with Joe? Am I worried about something that I haven’t shared with him? Did I get my feelings hurt and not talk about it? Am I upset with someone and stuffing it instead of dealing with it? Am I overwhelmed? Have I committed to too much? This time I haven’t been able to pinpoint it, though, and that bothered me. Lots.

Last night we finished dinner and Joe and I flopped down on our big cushy couch-chair to talk and play with Mara for a few minutes before starting on the basement. As I’m leaning back, watching Joe and Mara (in a rousing game of “Get the Pen Out of Daddy’s Pocket, Drop It Behind Your Head, and Pretend You Don’t Know Where It Is,” one of our favorites), I feel my eyes get heavy… and heavier… and I realize something…

1. I am very tired. Sleepy. Ready for bed. Past ready for bed. Desperate for sleep.
2. Depression (for me, low energy + self-pity + “hopeless” feeling + no motivation) is because I am physically weary.
3. It is barely 8pm.
4. For the first time, it occurred to me that maybe I’m trying to do too much. I got up at 5, read my Bible, wrote 2 articles, exercised, cooked, cleaned, did laundry, took care of babies, ran errands, ordered a birthday gift, picked out songs for church, did website work, read books to Mara, nursed Robbie (4 times), talked to my sister on the phone (3 times), and finished reading a book I started the day before. And I was disappointed because I didn’t get to planting my seeds for seedlings.

When I’m going nonstop from 5am and only feel bad because I didn’t do more, perhaps my perspective is off. I’m getting so low on energy by evening that it is translating to depression. I’m falling asleep if I sit down for five minutes. My standard response has been not to sit down for five minutes. Ignore the signals, keep pushing on. Last night I decided that was stupid. So I put the kids to bed, cleaned up the kitchen, and put myself to bed. Joe told me to get some sleep, and he worked on the basement (by himself, sweet man).

Eight beautiful hours later, I actually feel good. Awake. Hopeful. Energized. And a little humbled.

I like to believe that I am Superwoman. Some days I can pull it off, and those days make me think I should be able to pull it off all the time. I get so caught up in the energy and accomplishment of doing things that I neglect the basics. Sleep. Relaxation. Talking. Resting.

I put “Decide on Next Monthly Challenge” on my calendar this week. I know what it is now: a month with no to-do list. I need the freedom. I need the discipline of not focusing on accomplishments and check marks and productivity for productivity’s sake. March should be an interesting month.

Improve Your Life: Simplify your schedule. Write down your appointments, activities, and just two or three to-do items. Give yourself some breathing room. You might actually be more productive.

Be Open-Minded:
You must learn to say no when something is not right for you. Leontyne Price

…the eyes of man are never satisfied. Proverbs 27:20
God does not judge us by the multitude of works we perform, but how well we do the work that is ours to do. The happiness of too many days is often destroyed by trying to accomplish too much in one day. We would do well to follow a common rule for our daily lives–DO LESS, AND DO IT BETTER. Dale Turner
He who trusts in his own heart is a fool, but he who walks wisely will be delivered. Proverbs 28:26

Related posts:

1. Day 14: The Get Up Early Challenge
2. Life Improvement 101 with Monthly Challenges
3. Day 1: The Get Up Early Challenge
4. Day 29: The Get Up Early Challenge and Wrap-Up
5. Day 6: The Get Up Early Challenge