SISTER WISDOM : build a better life

    Aristotle classified four different types of personalities: sanguine, melancholy, choleric, and phlegmatic. Though the theory behind the types has changed (we don't really subscribe to the "bodily humors" reasoning anymore), the types have remained consistently accurate in describing people. Often, however, we recognize the terms but don't really understand how they translate into a person.

Personality Is Bigger than Personality Type
First we need to understand what a personality itself is: "the totality of qualities and traits, as of character or behavior, that are peculiar to an individual person... the pattern of collective character, behavioral, temperamental, emotional, and mental traits of an individual" (The American Heritage Dictionary). A personality is really bigger than a personality type. Every personality is unique, and every personality type is a generalization. Every pure type is affected by upbringing, experience, culture, peers, education, relationships. Two sanguines, born in the same year in the same country, will grow up to be two different people. Their personality types similar, yes; their preferences and expressions as unique as their fingerprints.
Imperfect though they are, personality types give us insight we need in building good relationships. We need to understand their limitations so that we do not expect ourselves or others to fit a mold perfectly. But we can use them to understand that others really do think, see, feel, and experience things differently. My pet peeve may be another's preference. An offense to you may be a harmless joke to me. We can become more flexible, more sensitive, and more fulfilled in our relationships as we grow in understanding the personalities.
Here is a rough, by no means exhaustive, overview of the four different types.

   Sanguine knows everybody and everybody likes him even though he forgets their names. Networking is what he does best, even unconsciously. He thrives on fun, action, excitement, and change. He loves to tell stories, get a laugh, be dramatic, and have the spotlight. Sanguine is not afraid of a party. He loves people but he gets bored just sitting around in deep conversation. Sanguine likes to be doing something, moving, shaking, stirring up the party. He is energized by groups and likes crowds. He likes to be where the action is, or even better, he likes to be the action! Sanguine is a talker who sees possibility in everything.
Melancholy knows only a few people but knows them well. Detail-oriented, deep and thoughtful, a perfectionist with high standards, he is organized and has a logical, analytical way of thinking. Melancholy can see the possibilities but he will also see the practical steps needed to get there, and sometimes overwhelmed by trying to get it all done right. He pushes himself to get a lot done and get it done well; he will be discouraged if he feels like a failure. He does not dislike people, but sometimes he doesn't understand them. He likes to observe, to watch from the edges, and he often has a gift of discernment and insight. He needs downtime alone to build up emotional energy, and he likes to have a plan.
Choleric knows as many people as he needs to know to get the job done. He is the master delegator, the consummate boss. He gets people moving not to party but to be productive. He makes decisions, takes charge, sets the goal, and shows people what to do to get there. Choleric thrives on challenges and loves being productive. If you tell him he can't, he will set about to prove that he can. And he will. Obstacles are fun for Choleric. He is good at handling a crisis and tells other what to do without thinking about it. He gets frustrated when people waste time and doesn't understand why others don't see things his way. He is bold and people naturally follow him.
Phlegmatic knows a lot of people but only has a few really close friends. He listens more than talks, but can engage in pleasant conversation with almost anyone without causing offense. He is calm and mellow, rarely gets flustered, and avoids conflict. He is extremely diplomatic and has a gift for using dry humor to ease tense situations. Phlegmatic encourages others, is sympathetic, and really enjoys people when they all get along. He is a mediator and a peaceful presence, though he can come across as apathetic and detached. He willingly puts aside his own preferences to make others happy, and genuinely enjoys their happiness.

Read more about personalities in Personality Plus by Florence Littauer. Littauer goes into much more detail about how the different personality types behave and why, what motivates them, how they can relate better to others, and how they can make the most of their strengths and weaknesses.