Challenge Update: The final day, and I slept in with snooze until about 5:45. So I’m not exactly ending on a glorious note. Overall, though, it’s been a good challenge. Reporting daily definitely gives me a sense of accountability that motivates me past some of the slumps I usually just fall flat on.

I will need to continue working on this habit, however, to make it solid. I allowed enough interruptions and “snoozes” to keep it from becoming an unquestioned part of my daily routine. I am convinced that it is worth it. I really enjoyed the time I had in the morning and felt better prepared to deal with the day. I started out feeling ahead of things rather than running behind.

The sleepiness was a problem, probably the most difficult part of the challenge for me to overcome. I could make myself get out of bed physically but staying awake and alert enough to think, read, or write sometimes seemed impossible. I think the best fix for that is getting enough sleep on a regular basis; for me, that doesn’t mean eight hours every night but it does mean being aware of when I am tired and going to bed accordingly.

Build It: 5am may be too early for you (or too late!) but the essence of the idea isn’t the exact time but that you have a specific time and stick to it, day in and day out, until it is a habit. Once the habit is established, you have a little elbow room for sick days and off days; frankly, though, I would rather get up at my 5am alarm, have that peaceful, calm time, and then get a nap later in the day if I am that tired. Not everybody can work naps in, I understand.

So set a time that works for you and stick to it, consistently, for at least 21 days. Plan your morning time so you aren’t left staring blankly at the coffee maker, wondering why you aren’t in bed anymore. If that happens, the pull of the pillow will work on you and you will end up buried under covers, zombie-fied, rolling out of bed at the last minute, running around, back to the old frustrations.

Try it. It’s worth it.

Challenge Update: I was a little behind (that darn snooze button) but I got up at 5:45 and am feeling good. Feeling great, actually. Even though I went to bed late last night (around midnight), I am awake and thinking this morning. I do need to watch my bedtime though; I can do three or four “short” nights (5 to 6 hours) but then I need a “catch-up” night of eight hours or more.

Or I need to start taking naps in the afternoon. I napped a lot while I was pregnant but I’ve since gotten out of the habit. Now I find it difficult to slow down and rest in the middle of the day, even when I’m tired. I’m working on not being in such a non-stop mode but it is still habit.

Build Your Better Life: Set up a date night with your husband. Now. Get your calendar, give him a call, find a babysitter, do whatever you need to do to make this happen within a week. I let it slide too long, sometimes, and though we see each other we don’t get that focused time to reconnect.

Connecting with your spouse is worth whatever sacrifice it takes to make it happen. Remember, you don’t have to spend a lot of money. You can eat sandwiches at home and go get a cup of coffee together. Or just go walk around the mall. Just make sure that you have time and space to talk to each other about more than the kids and the car and the stuff at work. Get a little deeper. Ask questions. Pretend it’s your first date.

For the singles sisters, here’s a suggestion: set a date for yourself or with a close girlfriend and make a list of the five essential qualities for your future husband. Don’t be trivial (great abs) and don’t be vague (good character). You need to know the things that are make-it-or-break-it in a relationship, and if you share them with a friend who can hold you accountable, all the better. If you’re feeling really ambitious, make a list of the five essential qualities you need to have to be a great wife. Do you have them all? What can you work on? Get started!

Challenge Update: This morning the alarm went off, I got up, and though I’m a little sleepy, I feel more human than zombie-like. This is a first for the last couple of weeks.

I haven’t been getting enough sleep and this is why: my habit is to go to bed when I get sleepy, say, when I can’t concentrate on the page I’m reading or the movie I’m watching. Lately, I’ve been busy moving around, talking to people, working physically on projects. We are remodeling our basement; every night Joe comes home and works for a couple of hours and I try to help. We’ve also had several C.O.P.S. meetings, formal and spontaneous. When I’m active with work (physical) or with people (conversation), I don’t get those “hey-I’m-sleepy-and-should-go-to-bed” cues.

I’ve been feeling depressed in the evenings, too. I hate being depressed, so when I start feeling it I immediately try to figure out what the cause is. Do I need some time with Joe? Am I worried about something that I haven’t shared with him? Did I get my feelings hurt and not talk about it? Am I upset with someone and stuffing it instead of dealing with it? Am I overwhelmed? Have I committed to too much? This time I haven’t been able to pinpoint it, though, and that bothered me. Lots.

Last night we finished dinner and Joe and I flopped down on our big cushy couch-chair to talk and play with Mara for a few minutes before starting on the basement. As I’m leaning back, watching Joe and Mara (in a rousing game of “Get the Pen Out of Daddy’s Pocket, Drop It Behind Your Head, and Pretend You Don’t Know Where It Is,” one of our favorites), I feel my eyes get heavy… and heavier… and I realize something…

1. I am very tired. Sleepy. Ready for bed. Past ready for bed. Desperate for sleep.
2. Depression (for me, low energy + self-pity + “hopeless” feeling + no motivation) is because I am physically weary.
3. It is barely 8pm.
4. For the first time, it occurred to me that maybe I’m trying to do too much. I got up at 5, read my Bible, wrote 2 articles, exercised, cooked, cleaned, did laundry, took care of babies, ran errands, ordered a birthday gift, picked out songs for church, did website work, read books to Mara, nursed Robbie (4 times), talked to my sister on the phone (3 times), and finished reading a book I started the day before. And I was disappointed because I didn’t get to planting my seeds for seedlings.

When I’m going nonstop from 5am and only feel bad because I didn’t do more, perhaps my perspective is off. I’m getting so low on energy by evening that it is translating to depression. I’m falling asleep if I sit down for five minutes. My standard response has been not to sit down for five minutes. Ignore the signals, keep pushing on. Last night I decided that was stupid. So I put the kids to bed, cleaned up the kitchen, and put myself to bed. Joe told me to get some sleep, and he worked on the basement (by himself, sweet man).

Eight beautiful hours later, I actually feel good. Awake. Hopeful. Energized. And a little humbled.

I like to believe that I am Superwoman. Some days I can pull it off, and those days make me think I should be able to pull it off all the time. I get so caught up in the energy and accomplishment of doing things that I neglect the basics. Sleep. Relaxation. Talking. Resting.

I put “Decide on Next Monthly Challenge” on my calendar this week. I know what it is now: a month with no to-do list. I need the freedom. I need the discipline of not focusing on accomplishments and check marks and productivity for productivity’s sake. March should be an interesting month.

Improve Your Life: Simplify your schedule. Write down your appointments, activities, and just two or three to-do items. Give yourself some breathing room. You might actually be more productive.

Be Open-Minded:
You must learn to say no when something is not right for you. Leontyne Price

…the eyes of man are never satisfied. Proverbs 27:20
God does not judge us by the multitude of works we perform, but how well we do the work that is ours to do. The happiness of too many days is often destroyed by trying to accomplish too much in one day. We would do well to follow a common rule for our daily lives–DO LESS, AND DO IT BETTER. Dale Turner
He who trusts in his own heart is a fool, but he who walks wisely will be delivered. Proverbs 28:26

A is for Action: Do it now, do it fast, get it done, quit procrastinating. If it takes less than five minutes, don’t even stop to think about it. Just do it.

B is for Basket: Have one by the door for items being returned, loaned, given, sent, and otherwise. Anything that goes out of the house in the next few days should be in the basket.

C is for Calendar: Have one, either a big hang-on-the-wall type or a planner you carry with you everywhere you go. Or both, if necessary. The more children and activities you have to coordinate, the more likely it is you will need the big calendar for everyone and the daily planner for your own lists and reminders as well as the family’s.

D is for Deadlines: As in, give yourself deadlines on projects, plans, dates, activities, goals. Especially give yourself deadlines on things you want to do but don’t usually make time to do. Don’t let the mundane have-tos force out the marvelous want-tos.

E is for Equipping: Equip your children to do things for themselves and for you. From day one, include them on helping even when their help is more time-consuming for you. Teach them simple skills. My 1 1/2 year old is great at throwing things away for me, fetching simple items, and taking items from one room to another. She also has a little broom that she uses when I am sweeping or mopping. It doesn’t really help, but she is getting the training and mentality necessary to be able to help me even more as she gets older.

F is for Flexibility: Have a planner and a calendar; make plans; set deadlines; but leave yourself some elbow room and take advantage of it. It’s okay not to do everything on your list. You are in charge, and you make decisions. You might run across opportunities you hadn’t thought of, or find a new plan that is better than your old one, or see your priorities differently. That’s good. Go with it.

G is for Giving: For starters, give a tithe. Ten percent is a nice amount, but it doesn’t really matter how much. Just get in the habit of giving some portion of your paycheck away every single time you get one. Why? Because we need to remember that money is a tool, not a goal. Money is meant to flow, be used, provide. Savings are great. Investments are great. Giving is better yet.

H is for Habits: Habits are the homemaker’s best friend (or worse enemy, if you have bad ones). Have something you want to accomplish? Make it into a daily habit. Train yourself in habits for all the things you have to do regularly, like cooking, shopping, dressing, getting the kids to bed. A habit saves you the effort of making lots of tiny decisions every day and wearing yourself out on the unimportant.

I is for Independence: Set things up in your house so you don’t have to help with every task or detail. Get easy to fix food so anyone can put a meal together. Label things so your spouse and kids can find them without asking you. Set up systems that are easy to understand and easy to remember, and repeat, repeat, repeat until it is second nature for everyone in your home. This works for house guests, too. Give them a quick tour of where stuff is in your home and how they can help themselves and you. Most people feel much more comfortable this way.

J is for Jumping: Out of bed. Every morning. At the same time. Okay, fine, take Sunday off and sleep in a little bit. Otherwise, do yourself a huge favor and set your alarm clock up to go off every day at the same time and be sure it is out of arm’s reach. Don’t hit snooze. Get out of bed and get your day started. You can always take a nap later. (Tell yourself you can, anyway, when you have trouble getting started in the morning. Chances are once your energy and coffee kick in, you won’t want to take a nap.)

K is for Key Hooks: Such a simple thing. Take two minutes and put a couple of hooks by the door you come in the most often. Use a nail if you don’t have any hooks. Now, every time you walk in, put your keys on the key hook. Not in your purse, not in your pocket, not on the table, not with the mail. Key hook.

L is for Laptop: Most households have a computer, probably a desktop, probably set up somewhere not extremely convenient. If you use a computer daily and can afford to, buy yourself a laptop Sister! You can set it up where it makes sense for you: in the kitchen while the kids do homework, in the living room while they play, in the basement, the office, the bedroom.

M is for Maintenance: Every day you should do maintenance on your home. You probably already know what is required to keep stuff running: basic cooking, a load of laundry, make beds, wipe down bathroom, empty trash, sweep. Something like that. Do your maintaining every single day. It doesn’t have to take long at all, and if you are faithful with it you will hardly ever have to spend more than an hour doing “real cleaning.”

N is for Notebook: Have a notebook to write in and carry it with you. It could be part of your planner, if you like the all-in-one systems. I prefer something simpler. I have a thing weekly planner that gives me a space for every day and a spiral-bound, hard-back notebook (usually available in bigger bookstores). I carry both with me everywhere. Don’t stress your brain trying to remember everything and don’t stuff your purse with random pieces of paper. Consolidate.

O is for Off Time: You should have some, preferably once a week without kids for a couple of hours. Do something you enjoy. Stay home and take a nap. Go have a cup of coffee, uninterrupted. Read a book on the couch. You can make it a date with your honey, if you like, but I really recommend having some off time to yourself or to spend with girlfriends or do something special and working in some date time as well. You may not be able to get both in every week, but do your best. Alternate weeks if you must: an afternoon to yourself one week, a date night with your husband the next.

P is for Planning: Since you have that planner and that notebook, use them! Sunday night is a great time to sit down for thirty minutes or so and jot down a menu, note your activities and commitments in your planner, jot down the items you would like to have done. Do this at the beginning of the week and you can space things out a bit, plus you will have a good idea of how busy you’re going to be and can make decisions accordingly.

Q is for Quick Meals: Master the art of the quick meal. If you have a repertoire of four or five meals that you know by heart, keep ingredients for, and can put together in thirty minutes or less, you are already a master of this exquisite art. Pasta is a great option for something quick. You can also have a quick-meal-in-the-slow cooker option:  throw in some meat, potatoes, seasoning, a vegetable or two, and let it cook away while you do other things.

R is for Routines: A habit is your best tool; a routine is a series of habits, usually performed on a (loose) schedule. So, a morning routine would be your habits of getting up (at the same time), getting dressed (before the kids), eating breakfast (simple and healthy), and whatever other things you need to accomplish every morning. Routines will save your sanity.

S is for Seasonal: Go with the flow of the seasons. Lighten up in the summertime: pare down your wardrobe, eat simple, fresh meals with lots of produce, schedule less so you have time for fun summer stuff. Use the energy of spring to get through the bigger cleaning and organizing tasks. Take advantage of the hoarding-and-hibernating instincts of fall and stock up your freezer, your gift closet, and your household supplies. Spend the cold, quiet winter days on those longer-term projects.

T is for Team Mentality: Talk about your family as a team and your children will pick it up. Everybody has a job on a team. Everybody is important and everybody is responsible for something particular. Team members are trained (to take care of their particular responsibility) and ready and enthusiastic. Being part of a team means you help your team mates out, you step in when they’re slacking, you encourage, and you see the goal as one to be reached together.

U is for Uniforms: I know, you think I’m taking this team mentality a bit too far. You don’t need to buy cleats and shorts for everybody, but do give your wardrobes a bit of the uniform approach. Buy three pairs of those pants that fit you and five of the shirt you love and two pairs of the shoes that are comfortable and go with anything (maybe in two colors?). Stock your children’s closets with clothes that are simple, comfortable, and similar in style and color. Have a few special outfits for everyone. Enjoy wearing them on the appropriate occasions, and the rest of the time spend your mental energy on more important things.

V is for Vision: Develop a vision for what you want your home to be. Do you like lots of calm and quiet, a serene interior, soft music, relaxed dinners, quiet nights reading? Do you prefer people, energy, lots of different stuff going on, fun and light and activity? It’s up to you to bring that vision into reality. And yes, it can be done. Don’t be a slave to perfection here. You’ll have to make compromises. You’re not the only one in the house. (Remember that team?) But you can set up routines and systems, train yourself, equip your family, and create an environment that supports your vision.

W is for Write It Down: Don’t overburden your brain. Use your notebook and write stuff down. Lists. Lists of your lists. Thoughts. An idea for a book to write later, when the kids are grown. An idea for how to make time to write a book now, while the kids are still at home. What your best friend would love for her birthday. What you would love for your birthday. A poem. Things you hate about your house. Things you love about your husband. Etc. Write it down.

X is for Xenograft: Bear with me, X is a difficult letter. A xenograft is when the cells of one species are transplanted to a different species. In the terms of modern homemaking, then, check out the styles, personalities, and systems that are working for people who are not like you. Then try some. Transplant some into your own homemaking and see what benefits you get. Different is good.

Y is for Yearly Review: You don’t have to wait until New Year’s for this, either. Pick a day - your birthday, perhaps? - and just give yourself a little time to review your home and homemaking for the last year. What was good? What was bad?  What bothered you? What bothered your family? What one thing do you want to change? What worked? What do you want to keep?

Z is for Zeal: Don’t restrain your enthusiasm. If you don’t have any, fake it till you feel it. Homemaking is a challenging, rewarding, never-ending, unpredictable adventure. Have fun. Go for your vision. Don’t hold your talents and skills and energy back for something more important. It doesn’t get more important than kids, husband, and home. Bring your dreams into it. Bring your friends into it. Build the skills you don’t have. Experiment. Find mentors. Find peers. Be proud of what you do and what you are and enjoy all the difficulties and the perks.

Challenge Update: I’m on a roll, feeling like this 5 am wake time is more habit than not habit. I think I am going to have to continue to think of it as a monthly challenge for another month, however, to really get the habit solidified. Those few days of sickness and “rest” threw off my rhythm. Getting up is rather habitual, but my body is trained well enough to stay awake yet. I can stay awake, and do, but it’s a struggle. I need to get that pattern in place so my body clock adjusts. I also need to work on going to bed a wee bit earlier than, oh, midnight.

Improve Your Life: Bill Ford, in his book High Energy Habits, suggests making a list of all the little things that annoy you and then dedicating time to taking care of those things. Here’s what he says:

We pick up a lot of drag in our lives; little things that slow us down, which we hardly notice and come to think of as just part of life - inevitable friction, like barnacles on a ship’s hull. The good news is that we don’t have to put up with them and life is different when we do something about them.

Ford suggests making this list and then choosing three of the easy items on the list and tackling them immediately. He suggests making time every day to deal with these annoyances. And yes, for the inevitable protest of no time, he has an answer:

We are so busy that these little things do not seem to justify a high priority. But it takes energy to ignore them. And that is the cost - the energy spent on ignoring is wasted and it adds up.

So take his advice. I’m working on it. Yesterday I got rid of a dead plant that had been sitting in my living room, annoying me, for months. Then I tried to fix the loose screw on our table. I say tried because once I got the screwdriver and got under the table, the only screws I could locate were tight. So this is an annoyance I will have to pass on to my husband, the resident fixer-improver-constructor-man.

Be Open-Minded: Take a moment and think of a person you spend a lot of time with, like your spouse, your children, your cubicle mate, your best friend. Identify one thing you do, habitually, almost unconsciously, that has the potential to annoy that person. (Just pick one!) Work on eliminating that habit, or replacing it with something that will uplift and energize rather than annoy. You’ll find yourself more uplifted and energized as well.

By the way, you can buy Ford’s book online at Amazon for as little as $1.99. It’s a good framework for revamping some life habits that drain you and includes chapters and suggestions on using your strengths more often, clearing clutter, creating time to think, and more.

Life becomes dangerous when we walk blindly in the paths others have laid out. Why? Because nobody has ever had it all figured out. But we love the ease and comfort of the familiar. It is easier to follow the well-worn groove than to make the effort to get out of it and forge ahead for ourselves.

We want others to like us, to emulate us, to approve of us, to admire our decisions, our lives. We want a pat on the head. We want the general consensus of others around us to be that we’ve got it pretty well figured out. So we take the paths that seem familiar because we know instinctively that, like us, others tend to approve of what is familiar without ever questioning it. We get the approval. But do we ever get the life we really want?

As women, we are especially susceptible to seeking the approval of others around us. Something in our emotional construction longs for the security of knowing we have pleased, we are approved, we have somehow met the mark. But how often do we stop to ask whose mark we are so desperately trying to meet? Is someone else’s standard my only measurement for a successful life?

I seem traditional to some people, but the catch is that the traditions I uphold in my life I have chosen consciously, recognizing what they are and the value they hold for me. The traditions that have no validity and no value I choose to reject: not because I hate the past or because I want to rebel against my family legacies, but because blind adherence to tradition never improves my life. I am a stay-at-home mom and a work-from-home writer. I enjoy traditional “domestic” activities like cooking and gardening; I also love playing guitar, traveling, meeting new people, and going to skateboard parks with my husband. I spend a lot of time trying to improve how I do what I do, and probably an equal amount of time trying to improve who I am. Personal growth is a big part of life improvement for me.

Take adventures in seeking, constantly, to improve your life by questioning assumptions, examining cultural norms and traditions, and taking time to think through both your daily habits and your lifelong beliefs. Such activity is not for the faint-hearted or the close-minded. We all have strong emotional attachments to our assumptions. A defense system we don’t even recognize most of the time jumps into action as soon as something dear to us is questioned, even if the questioning will lead us to a better, safer, and freer life. Questions frighten us. We have made decisions based on assumptions and we fear that questioning those assumptions will cause our lives to crumble around us.

“Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.” (Semisonic)

Without questions, without honesty, without risk, our lives will crumble. At best we will live and die in mediocrity. The atrophy of a mind and heart never fully used will cause our lives to deteriorate into something passionless, useless, and pointless. Life was not meant to be lived without purpose and freedom. It is only by asking difficult questions and seeking real wisdom that we find both purpose and freedom, and in finding them we find a passion for life.

I hope you are open-minded enough to seek more than the rut you have been walking. I hope you are willing to take risks, to ask questions, to examine your own life honestly, to put aside assumptions, to seek true value. Do you want comfort, or do you want real wisdom? Do you want familiarity, or do you want freedom?

Improving your life is more than sitting around, theorizing about the big questions in life. Our lives are composed of a collection of small things, mostly, and thinking about those small things is how we make our lives richer and better. All the little things - from how you cook a meal, or organize your desk, or shop for birthday gifts to how you implement frugality, change your morning routine, or choose what book to read next - make the big differences that take us from mediocrity to excitement.

I said before that no one has it all figured out; I certainly don’t. My mission is to find out what I can and continually change and improve my life with every day. Many of the things I write about are very simple, practical applications for the daily business of life: how-tos, recipes, life hacks, tips, methods. Some are more theoretical, my own process of examining the “bigger” things in life.

Take risks. Let life be an adventure and not a drudgery. Trade in those assumptions for something real. You may walk away with the same basic lifestyle and beliefs, but they will be grounded on your own decisions, not on a past that you may or may not want to become your future. Reject the fear and the passivity and seek what is real. “Say to wisdom, ‘You are my sister.’” (Proverbs 7:4)

Challenge Update: Yesterday I took some time to plan my week and get it all in my planner, which I have been neglecting to do. Knowing I had a plan made both getting up and staying awake better. It is motivating to have goals but you need more; you need to have a course set for yourself to reach those goals.

Improve Your Life: Take a few minutes each night to review your day and, in a planner or journal, make a simple plan for the next day. It doesn’t (and shouldn’t be) complicated or dictated by the half-hour, but it helps to have a short to-do list and an order in which to do things.

Be Open-Minded: Most people don’t schedule their off-time, such as evening and weekends, with priorities or to-do lists. Some of us don’t even really schedule social events; we just wait and see what comes up at the last minute. It’s important to relax, but why not plan for things you want to do rather than waiting to see if something you enjoy will spontaneously happen? Try it some night this week or next weekend: plan a specific time for something you want to do, whether it be personal or a family event or a social outing, or just something you want to do at home that keeps getting pushed aside by the more “important” things.

Challenge Update: Progress again. I hit snooze a couple of times. (I had my phone, which functions as my alarm, beside me in my little bedside basket. Bad idea. It works better when it’s in the kitchen and I have to get out of bed to turn it off.) I had no trouble staying awake, though, once I was out of bed, and I enjoyed the time to sip my coffee, write, think, pray, read.

I’ve just started a Bible reading plan again. I had been wandering kind of aimlessly through parts of the Old and New Testament. My church had copies of this one-year plan, and it has you read four different passages each day, with about five catch-up days per month. I started in Genesis, Psalms, Matthew, and Acts. I like the structure. Sometimes I need to be told what to do or I get lost in the options. I also like putting a little check mark in the box beside each portion of the day’s reading. Genesis 9 - 11, check. Psalm 4, check. Matthew 2: 13-23, check. Acts 2:22-44, check.

One Year Bible Online has a similar plan available. You can download it (it is a .pdf document) and print it out. However, it has no little checkboxes and no catch up days in the schedule.

For the ultimate in check box accomplishment, check into the reading plan offered by Christianity.com. You become a member (it’s free), and record your progress online.

I don’t want to degrade the Scripture to a tick mark on my to-do list, but I do need help being consistent at reading the Bible and having a plan to follow helps me.

Improve Your Life: It could help you too. Find a Bible reading plan and get started. If you don’t want to tackle the Bible in one year,  do a search on Bible reading plans. You can find one to fit your schedule.

Be Open-Minded: If you’re thinking, Why would I want to read the Bible every day? here is a chance to think outside your box. Oh-ho, my secular friend, are you tolerant enough to read something regarded as a holy book? Try it. I dare you. Even if you don’t believe the Bible is holy, it is full of stories and wisdom and principles that will challenge and help you. Are you open-minded enough to try it?

Goals without purpose become meaningless exercises and doom you to frustration. I can set a goals in the best way with specific definitions and deadlines and hints and helps and accountability and triggers and I can still fail. Goals need to mean something because goals require change and it is our default as lazy, fearful people to resist change.

Not to get you down, but…
We need to admit that we are lazy and we are fearful. Most of what we want to accomplish in life is possible for us. Money is there to be made. Time is ours to use as we will. Relationships become what we put into them. People treat us as we allow them to. The responsibility rests on us. My life is my own and if I let you control is, it is my fault. Shame on you, certainly, for seeking to control, but a greater shame on me for victimizing myself.

Your Purpose Becomes Your Responsibility
Responsibility is part of purpose. Finding out your purpose creates an obligation upon you to fulfill that purpose. If you have value beyond today, if significance and satisfaction are possible, if you have a purpose beyond existing, then you alone are responsible for living up to that value, living in such a way as to be significant and create satisfaction by achieving your purpose. None of these things are impossible, but they require thought, commitment, effort, and diligence.

Striving for Your Purpose
If I fail to achieve my purpose, it is either because I was too afraid to find out what it was or because, upon finding out, I was too lazy to strive for it. To strive means to “endeavor with earnestness, to labor hard” and “to contend, to struggle in opposition to another.” Achieving your purpose means that you must not only work for something noble and big and beyond today, but you must work against your fears, your laziness, your old habits of mediocrity, and all the voices in your society and your past that point you in an easier direction.

Refuse to Waste Your Life
It may sound like I’m taking this all a little too seriously, but wasting a life is a serious thing. That life came from somewhere and is meant to do something. I believe God gave it to you. Whether you believe the White Dolphin of the Lost Sea gave it to you or your parents were just a little thoughtless with contraceptives, you still wake up every morning with a day to fill. You can settle for meaningless mediocrity, but you don’t really want to. If you do, it is only because laziness and fear have taken over and you have settled into victimization again.

Do better than be a victim for the rest of your life. Start taking control of your mind and emotions and body, one step at a time. Ignore that voice that says, “Forget this, it’s a waste of time.” Ignore that small, offended feeling at being called lazy and fearful. Ignore that urge to go get something to eat and settle in front of the tv. You were meant to be alive, not be a victim. Start finding your purpose.

How to Find Your Purpose

Finding your purpose is a personal exercise, and no chart or graph or checklist will really do it for you. Writing helps me, but that’s because I’m a writer. I get a piece of paper and start writing down the things that matter to me. From those, there are a few that really stand out, or that are repeated (different terms or phrases, same idea). Read How to Discover Your Life Purpose in About 20 Minutes by Steve Pavlina. Ask your friends and family what they think you are good at. This doesn’t mean that is your purpose, but it gives you a starting point if you find yourself totally stuck. What do you love? What gets you enthusiastic? What could you do and never get tired of doing? What is your idea of the perfect job? How do you wish you could change the world? What would you attempt if you had unlimited resources? What would you try if you knew you could not fail?

Answer those questions honestly, and try to find the common theme. Boil it down to something clear and quick and to the core. Then hold on to it and start thinking about how that purpose translates into the life you are living now.