SISTER WISDOM : build a better life

First things first: today is my birthday. I am celebrating by 1) having another cup of coffee, 2) playing around instead of getting work done before the kids wake up, 3) spending time with my sister-in-law and niece today!, and 4) packing to go on VACATION to see my family! I cannot wait!

Since we will be leaving Tuesday, my menu plan consists of, well, not much:

• Monday: eat whatever is left in the fridge so it won't get icky while we're gone. Mmm. Since I didn't cook much over the weekend (I got in vacation mode a little too soon) it will probably be a slim meal. Oh well. We'll make up for it while we're down in MS.

Since I don't have a great menu plan, I will put up some recipe links of food I want to make soon. Maybe this will help inspire me when vacation is over and it's time to come home and start cooking again. Or maybe I'll cook some while I'm at my Dad's house. They have a nice big kitchen...

Recipes... and be sure to visit OrgJunkie for more menus, links, and recipes!

• Homemade Granola Bars (my recipe, good, and I need to make some again. Should make some to take with us for snacks on the road but that's probably not going to happen...).
• Thai Chicken Salad with Peanuts and Lime - sounds delicious. Love this site, too.
• Honey Wheat Bread... because I need to quit making all-white bread but I don't love completely whole wheat bread. This recipe sounds like a good compromise for me.
• Hummus and Tomato-Avocado-Mozzarella Salad and Hashbrown Quiche and Oatmeal Applesauce Muffins (with suggested tweaks, maybe add dried cranberries too?). Love this site; wonderful recipes and I love how she has a pic of each plus a little "Results" section at the bottom to summarize the recipe and how good it was or what needs changing. A new favorite on my Bookmarks list.
• Smoked Beef Ribs. Um, yes. Oh, yes. Goodness, yes. I am drooling. I love barbecued anything (okay, almost anything). I'm thinking I should institute a weekly "Joe-cooks-on-the-grill" night and I'm thinking this should be our first recipe.
• Jamaican Chicken. Yum. Yum. Yum.
• Snack Basket. Not exactly a recipe, I know, but this is a great idea for Moms. I think I will set one of these up when we get home next week.

Image courtesy of Pink Sherbet Photography.

It's my 28th birthday today.

I am thankful for my life today,

for the opportunity I have each morning to be alive, to be whole, to be free, and to be with the people I love. Each day is rich and full.

The lines have fallen to me in pleasant places. I live with dreams and ideas and a reality full of wonder. I still believe in God, in goodness, in love, in absolutes - not because I always want to, but because it makes sense. I still believe fairies live in my flower garden - not because it makes sense, but because I want to.

I am thankful for new starts,

for fresh starts, reset buttons, and time-outs for grown-ups. I am thankful for the ability to feel, even when that means feeling pain. I am thankful for the freedom to say no, to live simple, to create my own enjoyment in life, to ignore negative people and to focus on all things bright and beautiful.

I am thankful for long walks, long naps, long conversations, and all of them being constantly interrupted by my children, because that means that they are whole, safe, happy, and with me.

I love this crazy hectic rushing pausing living breathing dancing feeling falling seeing hearing loving being doing running resting thing we have, this life, these moments strung together, these fly-by days, these vanishing hours.

I love the promise of eternity,

the hope spreading before me, the future opening up for me, limitless in scope.

I choose to dwell in possibility. I choose joy. I claim every wonder as a personal gift to me from the Maker. I relish the taste of each day I am given, I look toward the sun, I accept the clouds and the rain, I believe in redemption.

Everywhere I look I see the possibility of joy.

This year I am letting fly, loosing the things less-than-best. This year I am ignoring details to focus on one important thing at a time. This year I give myself the gift of order and discipline, which comes with a free trial pack of guilt-free, worry-free time-off-for-rest-and-renewal.

This year I will cancel my subscription to Worry Magazine, decline the offers for 1/2 off on "Comparing Yourself to Others: the Series" and will spend the time I save on the better classics:

• Guilt-Free Living
• Time with Family
• Prayer
• Fulfilling Work

This year my word is joy.

This year I will give more time to books and less time to the Internet. I will memorize poetry and ignore the news. I will sing songs instead of whining. I will go on dates with my husband, teach my daughter her letters, and cuddle my swiftly growing sons.

I will play in the dirt, climb trees, forget my weight, give more gifts, and accept the gifts I am given with a heart of gratitude and a life of grace.

I dwell in Possibility--
A fairer House than Prose--
More numerous of Windows--
Superior--for Doors--

Of Chambers as the Cedars--
Impregnable of Eye--
And for an Everlasting Roof
The Gambrels of the Sky--

Of Visitors--the fairest--
For Occupation--This--
The spreading wide my narrow Hands
To gather Paradise--

{Emily Dickinson}

Parenting is supposed to bring out that deep, unselfish part of you that doesn't mind getting up in the middle of the night and being alternately pooped and vomited upon. Maybe it worked for me and I'm more unselfish now that I used to be, but then again...

Maybe not.

I admire those Moms who breastfeed because it's a good thing to do. I'm not one of them. I breastfeed for purely selfish reasons:

1. I need to be needed.

There's nothing like being the only one able to provide food to make you feel needed. Sure, I can pump and someone else could give baby the bottle, but guess what? I'm still the source, baby. Talk about using your children to fill emotional voids? I am the queen.

2. I really like watching their little faces when they nurse.

It's probably somewhat the same with bottle feeding, but then you have to share. My son Zeke, the current nurser, is especially expressive. The early morning feedings are best. He's like a druggie getting his fix - head thrown back, eyes kind of rolling around and glazed over, and then that euphoric look when he gets full and just kind of collapses on my arm. Love it.

3. I'm lazy. Mixing bottles = work + mess.

Having to get out of bed in the middle of the night to feed the baby? Not for me. I like the roll over, pick up baby, stick boob in mouth method.

4. I am so not giving up the excuse to sit down and put my feet up at regular intervals throughout the day.

Other nursing moms get all excited about how quick their babies eat. Not me. Oh no. Mine are forced to 30-minute feeding sessions at a minimum, and I'm happy if I can make it 45. "I can't, I'm nursing," is a wonderful thing to be able to say.

5. I like having big boobs.

Oh, come on, you small-breasted women understand this. I was somewhere around a triple AAA when I got married; and I think there's a reason that corresponds to the size of a teeny tiny battery. That's about how big they were. My poor husband.

We got pregnant, my boobs expanded, and suddenly so did my wardrobe options! Peasant blouses? Yes! V-necks? Yes! Plain t-shirts in dark colors that used to make me look like a wimpy boy? Yes! No possibility of being mistaken for a male again.

I'm terrified of losing this lovely curvaceousness, so onward, forward with the breastfeeding train. I don't know what I'll do when it's time to wean this one, because we're not planning on more, at least not for a long time. Guess I better check out the implant options or it's back to major push-up bras for me...

image courtesy of jessicafm.

Part 4 of the series: The Get-Your-Life-Together Plan

The idea comes from, well, who knows, originally, but I picked it up from a great book called Totally Organized by Bonnie McCullough. This is a great book, by the way, look for a review of it soon.

Here's what McCullough says about what she calls...

"...MM (minimum maintenance) can set you free by 9:30 in the morning or have you ready to leave for work on time-and that means with breakfast wiped away, children dressed, dinner planned, and the clutter cleared."

Oh beautiful for spacious skies. I want to be set free by 9:30 in the morning, don't you?

Let's continue with Ms. McCullough:

"The MM system is easy to use. It calls for daily, organized house "keeping" rather than weekly or seasonal house-cleaning ordeals."

I like avoiding anything that can be referred to as an "ordeal" because, well, that's just not my cup o' tea. However, even with daily minimums, I still have a need for a slightly lengthier weekly cleaning time. But when I'm faithful with that daily deal, my weekly cleaning is quick and easy; and if I have a week where I simply can't get to it, the house is still presentable, just not quite as clean as I'd like it to be.

We'll return to a bit more advice from McCullough momentarily. For now, I'd like to walk you through my version of a Daily Minimum.

My Best Days

My best days are those when I rise early, follow my morning routine, and dive into my Daily Minimum as soon as the kids and I finish eating. Some days I dawdle, and drink another cup of coffee, and give orders to my imaginary maid; those days I don't get through my minimum by 9:30. Some days I get sidetracked and decide to clean out Mara's closet halfway through the minimum; those days I don't get through by 12:30. Some days I go with the urge to flee the house rather than clean it, and load up my pajama-clad children so we can "take breakfast to Daddy," which is really a great excuse to buy myself a latte; those days I don't even remember what minimum means until bedtime, when I rediscover its importance. But all failures aside, the DM or MM or whatever you want to call it is a great tool for keeping a house running without hours of effort. A good routine to add to your arsenal.

My Daily Minimum

(I begin directly after breakfast; I put the breakfast dishes in the sink as I'll return to the kitchen at the end of the routine.)

Kids: send Mara to go potty and get dressed; take Zeke and Robbie with me and change diapers and dress them when I get to their room.

Laundry: start one load.

Bathroom: Hang towels, clear out laundry, swipe counter/sink/toilet with peppermint cleaner, shake out rug, sweep.

Master bedroom: Straighten, put away clothes/shoes/Joe's random stuff/my books, make bed

Kids' bedrooms: Pick up clothes, make beds, straighten, put away toys/books/etc.

Entry/living room: Straighten, return toys to appropriate spots, sweep.

Dining room: Clear off and wipe down bench and table, sweep, mop.

Kitchen: Empty drainboard, empty dishwasher, clean breakfast dishes, get dinner started (I try to get as much done as I can so evenings are easier).

Laundry: Switch load to dryer.

Done.

The Professional Method

Now to return to the professional. McCullough says to "give each room five minutes before leaving for work or starting any major project of the day. You put away, straighten up, and wipe off." That's basically what I do with each room of the house.

McCullough recommends starting with the entry, but since my entry way consists of a 2 by 6 foot space with nothing in it, I don't work that way. I start at the messiest point in the morning - bathroom - and work my way back around to the kitchen, so when I start working on dinner, I already have my cleaning done.

Determine Your Daily Needs

So how do you determine your daily minimum? Experiment. Watch yourself. What actions are you repeating anyway? What part of your house needs attention on a daily basis? If you have kids, and they spread their toys around, you'll have more to deal with and you need to remember that a daily minimum doesn't mean a picture-perfect house all day long. You do have to live there, and so do your kids.

A few more pointers from McCullough:

• Don't get distracted by deep cleaning projects.
• Make the dinner decision early (even if you don't start on your prepping early, as I do).
• And this advice is my favorite: "Don't let the needs of others control your life. ...Don't just drop your world. Do the maintenance first. ...Learn to reward yourself after, rather than before, your MM is finished."

Remember, too, that there is flexibility here. As McCullough points out, a working (outside the home) person could half of the DM before work and half upon arriving home in the evening. Since I work from home, I like to get it all done so I can relax and eat chocolate while ordering my kids around relax and focus on writing and playing with my kids for the rest of the day.

Get started

You can be as simple as you want about this. Make a list on a piece of paper or an index card, post it somewhere obvious (bathroom mirror? kitchen cabinet?) and just be sure you complete everything on it sometime by the end of the day. The sooner, the better. This and your morning routine are your new best friends.

You can also download a couple of printables here to help. They're all in one downloadable file: one is a daily minimum routine check list you fill in yourself, and there's also a partially filled-in version; the other is a daily minimum check list that's already filled in, you just have to check it off as you go.

I've made them weekly so you don't need a separate sheet of paper for each day. Also, if you see you missed an item on Monday, say, you can be sure you get it completed on Tuesday.

Click here to download Printable Daily Minimum Check Lists.

Image credit: moonsheep on flickr.

Over the weekend, Joe and I decided that the "taking family walks in the evening" plan wasn't working. Okay, actually, it was more like this:
Annie: "I'm melting! I'm melting! It's soo o ooo o ooo hot! I can't walk in this heat. I will die. I will surely die. and If I don't die, then I will kill you for making me come out in this horrible horrible weather."
Joe: "Um...okay...would you like to join the gym, maybe, inste-"
Annie: "YES! Air conditioning! YES! Gym! YES! I like! Oh, sorry, hon, were you saying something else?"

This morning I got up and went to the gym and worked out in the beautifully air-conditioned space. It's one of those 24/7, let yourself in deals. I was the only one there at 4:45am (weird, don't more people just love getting to the gym at 4:45 am? No?) and so it was like I had my own private air-conditioned gym. I still couldn't change the channels on the televisions, though...

Another lady got there while I was mid-way through my graceful cardio huffing-puffing-nearly-keeling-over-20-excruciating-minutes-on-the-elliptical-death-machine portion of my work-out. I didn't mind sharing my gym space by that time. I was just glad someone else was there to pour a little water on my face in case I fainted and fell off when the demon machine upped the resistance again.  Beauty is just so painful sometimes.

So, in unrelated news, here's my menu for the week.

• Monday: fish curry, brown rice, strawberries & pineapple. I'm a little nervous about this because our neighbors are coming over for dinner and Shema (the Mr.) is from Sri Lanka. He's Hindu, so he doesn't eat meat, which is no problem since we like fish anway. But 1) I've never made curry with fish before and 2) I'm cooking curry for a man who knows what REAL curry should be like and makes it and consumes it regularly. I have a strong suspicion that my Americanized version of curry is nothing like Shema's authentic curry... oh well. It's the thought, right...?
• Tuesday: Stuffed pitas + clean out veggies in fridge: corn on the cob, green beans, and salad. I'm not sure what I'll stuff the pitas with yet: maybe this or maybe something more substantial, though with ground beef or turkey instead of lamb. Don't have much lamb sitting in my freezer these days... weird.
• Wednesday: Joe's day off! Big brunch mid-morning (sausage or bacon, pancakes, eggs) then veggie stirfry and noodles for dinner.
• Thursday: Pasta carbonara...some kind of side...
• Friday: Broiled tilapia, oven fries, marinated carrots.
• Saturday: Zugu & meatballs (and pasta to eat it on, of course).
• Sunday: We're either doing fellowship lunch at church or birthday dinner at the in-laws; I'll grate some cheese to make quesadillas for supper in case we're home by then and hungry again.

Visit the host of Menu Plan Monday!

Image Credit: jynmeyer on stock.xchng. Yeah, I'm not quite ready to put up a picture of myself, post-workout. Maybe someday...

I don't know about you folks, but, well, it helps me to have some accountability. Especially on stuff that is not always pleasant, like giving up soda or exercising every day.

Or completing a morning routine.

Here is a printable check list for a basic morning routine, more geared for a woman's morning routine since, well, that's what I am. It's on a points system: you get 1, 2, or 3 points for each item you check off the list, and then I suggest you decide on two rewards. One itty bitty reward for getting at least 25 points, and one bigger reward for getting a perfect 35.

The pdf is 2 pages. The first page is the morning routine check list with a couple of helpful links. The second is the same morning routine list with no links, which might make for easier printing.

Feel free to pass the pdf along or share on your website, I just ask that you leave the attribution link intact:

Click here to download Printable Morning Routine Check List: Basic Version.

#1. bestmomma’s question. If you could copy the cooking expertise and ability of one person, who would it be?

It would either the Frugal Gourmet (I don't remember his name right now. oh wait, yes I do:), Jeff Smith, or Sally Fallon who wrote "Nourishing Traditions" cookbook which is huge and has more helpful information about food, nutrition, and how to eat basic, healthy, good food than any other cook book I own.

#2. What’s the first red food that comes to your mind?

Strawberries.

#3. How do you eat your strawberries?

Plain. Oh so good. Wash and put in bowl; put bowl on table; sit; devour. My 2nd favorite way is in home made strawberry jam on a piece of toasted home made bread. Oh. Heavenly. Bliss.

#4. Share a recipe that uses cherries.

Oooh. I don't ever cook with cherries. I eat them like I eat strawberries. Oh, wait, that's not entirely true; I make scones and granola bars with dried cherries. Here's a granola bar recipe:

Home made, Not really healthy but really yummy Granola Bars

This is the kind of thing I would call my Mom about, if I could.

The first year after Mom died we had lots of one-way conversations, usually when I was driving somewhere. I could go on and on, just telling her about my life, my frustrations, how much I missed her, what-should-I-do-about-XYZ-random-situation, until I looked over and saw some other driver eyeballing me. I would hold up my cell phone, quick, like, "Oh, yeah, I've just been talking in my phone the whole time but forget to hold it up to my ear! Silly me!"

So here's how we're gonna work this. Since actual phone time with my Mama is impossible, this blog gets to be the site of my imaginary conversation with her. And you can listen in. Hey, you can even join in if you want...

Oh forget it. I can't do an imaginary Mom. Did I mention those conversations after she died were one-way? I talked "to Mom" but I didn't try to answer back for her. Let's work this a different way.

Here's what I want to call and tell Mom:

Hi, Mom. I love you. I miss you. I'm having a wonderful time raising these three beautiful children but I'm in need of a boot in the butt, so to speak. You were always great with those boot-in-the-butt motivational speeches, especially the quoting Proverbs part. You passed that whole Proverbs thing on to me, you know? I remember how you highlighted all those verse in pink since you had daughters. Anyway. So I read from Proverbs daily, and I've learned a lot, but Mom I am just weak in the application! Mara has way too much verbal freedom going on: she won't answer me when I call her or say Yes Ma'am unless I prompt her, repeatedly, with a very threatening look on my face. She argues. She's only two and she's arguing with me! (Okay, almost three.) Robbie whines every time I correct him, and if I spank him for whining he just whines more. Zeke... well, Zeke is the easiest one at this point and he requires feeding every three hours! He is sleeping about 8 hours every night now, so that's been really good.

So I don't know what I'm asking, Mom, just some advice, I guess, or a few reminders of why I need to stick to this whole "train up a child" deal and maybe you could throw in a guarantee or two that it will, in the end, pay off huge dividends and my kids will turn out great and I'll sit back and say, "Hey, the prayer and tears and instruction and spankings and correction and training and time and energy were worth it! My kids are AWESOME now! I'm so glad I hung in there!"

I would like to be able to say that one day, and I know (comparatively speaking) my kids are pretty good, really, but I just feel like I am beating my head against a wall on some of these issues and then I remember that Mara's not even three years old yet! How will I survive? How can I keep up? How do I keep moving ahead? What if I mess these kids up?

Okay. Deep breath. I guess that's it, really. Every time I pray for wisdom, God provides. I just wish he would provide a slightly larger dose. It's like getting a teaspoon of water when you are desperately thirsty. And yeah, Mom, I know you would say that God knows how much wisdom I need, and that I need to trust Him and just keep asking and keep seeking, and I am. I'm gonna go read some more from Proverbs now. Any other wisdom you could share would be great.

I really am done, now, and any wisdom anyone wants to share would be great. Can I get some Mom-help here?

Photo credit: Marinela, stock.xchng.

It's an ongoing endeavor for a lot of people, like all the nice folks who have written these books (even an encyclopedia) in the attempt:

• 101 Myths of the Bible: How Ancient Scribes Invented Biblical History
• Two Thousand Bible Errors in the Old Testament
• The Encyclopedia of Biblical Errancy

But no one's been quite definitive enough to settle it once and for all. People are still reading this book, finding (apparently) helpful ideas, and writing more articles and books which actually support the Bible. This as recently as last year (can you believe it?):

• The Stones Cry Out: What Archaeology Reveals About the Truth of the Bible
• Scientific Facts in the Bible: 100 Reasons to Believe the Bible is Supernatural in Origin
• Is the Bible True? How Modern Debates and Discoveries Affirm the Essence of the Scriptures

The controversy.

The contention.

We are divided. We are stuck. But you, my friend, can settle it all. There are two simple requirements: Read the rest of this entry »